DS13 refusing to do anything on holiday

[savemefromteen]

DS is an only. We are in Devon for a much needed break and he’s ruining it. He refuses to come even for a quick dog walk on the beach. I managed to get him to agree to come somewhere with me tomorrow (visit to city) while DH and dog go elsewhere and he’s just said that after that he’s not leaving the house until we go home.

Keeps saying he wants to go home etc etc.

Am so fed up we have a lot going on and we really needed this break and I’m hating it because of this behaviour.

It’s fine to leave him while we do a quick dog walk but not all day ☹️

Any advice on where to go with this? I won’t be able to physically drag him out the house, he’s taller than me now!

Devon has lots of places for seal and dolphin watching, would this appeal?

We once did a villa holiday with a pool when Dd was 13 and she spent the whole week with a face like a wet weekend hiding inside in her hoodie in the air conditioning 🙄 luckily they grow out of it and holidays become enjoyable again

My parents took me to NY aged 14 , DB was 12 , and I remember I hated it. I just wanted to be on the park with my friends. I have been to NY since and loved it!

My sister took her twin daughters to Venice when they were about 14 and they were very reluctant to leave the hotel at all. Venice!

Could you take a friend away next time? My teens like center parcs as they can play pool, table tennis, badminton and swim with little oversight from us!

Selfish child. Do whatever you want on your holiday OP, get some rest and relaxation, and leave him to fester with his screens if that is what he wants.
The idea of a 13 yo dictating a family holiday to suit himself is ridiculous.

Only child
teenager
Holiday in the UK with no activities planned

this was always going to be a disaster sorry OP

Yes. I was going to suggest inviting a friend.

Had to laugh at that, sorry 🤣 I know THE FACE only too well! 🙈🙈

My two ds's are similar age to your ds and they are the same. We were in Devon last Easter and they did not want to move from the rented house. They just wanted to be at home with their friends. This year we are at home and it is much more enjoyable and alot cheaper. I have a older Dd and she was the same but now she enjoys our company.

When I was that age, my favourite part of holidays was when I got some time to myself...

It's quite common and I think it's worse when you only have one child as adult company at that age isn't that much fun for them. They find things boring that they used to find fun, and all you can really do is look at all the things offer in the area and ask him what he wants to do. I took my son at 13 to Wales on my own and we had a good time but had to pack a lot in otherwise he would have been bored out of his mind. Kayaking, walks up the mountain, slate mine etc. We were constantly busy!
He is also probably missing what he usually does at home - games console maybe?
If you offer suggestions and he still won't do anything I would just go out without him and next time take a friend.

I think at this age you need to get kids involved in planning the holiday to be honest, so they're getting some choice in what they do.
Ds is 14 and we haven't done a full beach / countryside holiday for a few years as he's an only too and I know he'd be bored stiff. We've had success with small group tours (other kids / too busy to get bored!), Disney Florida, NYC, European city breaks and cruises. We did a short European beach break last year which we enjoyed but was only 4 nights, any more wed have run out of things to do.
If we do a UK holiday we take a friend!

Yeah beach walks always mum and dad at 13 are generally a no…
we sat and discussed holidays with our two 13 and 10. We came to a compromise of Disney Paris/centre parcs Paris for 4 days and then Paris city for 3 days. That way everyone is entertained.

We try not to go away on our own as a family with our teenagers. This year we’re going abroad with another family who have children of similar ages. Sometimes we go with the cousins of similar ages. It’s not fun for anyone with just us. Sadly.

To be blunt, my 13 year old is also on family holiday, in Cornwall and making the most of all of it. Wind, rain and sun.
WiFi and no WiFi.
We an aren’t even doing activities. Just walks and beach and cake and pasties.
Why do we keep setting such a low bar for our teens. They are so, so lucky to be offered these holidays. Why is it considered ‘normal’ to be so antisocial and miserable.
And many 13 year olds are very happy with a walk on the beach.
mine had a choice this afternoon, go home and chill or go to play cricket on the beach. She chose beach.

I’ve planned in activities and he’s refused to do all of them so I’ve cancelled. He doesn’t want to do them with me.

I appreciate it’s his downtime too - I think I just wish he’d stop the moaning if nothing else. I wasn’t like this at 13!

I take on board it’s not his thing here. I’m obviously clinging on to when he enjoyed this stuff.

We are not just dog walking I should say!

I’ve taken him on city breaks and he’s fine, but DH won’t do those kinds of holidays it’s all left to me.

Thanks for the suggestions I’ll do better next time.

A family holiday needs to be planned with all members in mind. This one seems to have missed the mark!
I only had DDs, but have GSs and their parents take them to places where there are activities they might enjoy ... usually dangerous ones! They are outdoorsy types.
I am sorry your holiday is a bit of a let-down this year.
I would leave him in the accommodation for half a day and do your own thing. Might he be attracted out by good food?!

The thought of Disneyland or Florida theme parks fills me with dread. Even to stop the moaning!

I dont really understand this. Mine loved holidays at that age and ours were always uk based often in Cornwall or similar. How do children get to call the shots in this way. Perhaps having 3 helped . They did entertain each other.

I know…I have a lot of internal fears of rides but I have to see past them.
im also not averse to reminding my 13yr old that “it’s not ALL about her” and she is not the main character in this life! It’s about everyone so she has to get over it and get on with things sometimes. A bit of tough love is ok too, they need to hear it!

I’m an only child and when I was that sort of age I would have hated a holiday like that. Dog walks on the beach with your parents just isn’t fun. Maybe he needs a holiday where he can be with children his own age and activities that he’s interested in.

You actually got a teen?

Good for you

What kind of activities though? Did he have any input in picking them? Would he do stuff on his own rather than with you if you booked something he wanted?