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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

15yo just stays in bed all day since GCSEs - is this normal??

159 replies

TiredButTryin5x · 05/07/2025 22:09

my oldest finished school in june n he’s done nothin but lay in bed on his phone since 😩 he’s 15, turnin 16 in aug. i don’t wanna nag him but he’s sleepin in past midday every day then stayin up all night watchin tiktoks or playin xbox

i’ve tried sayin get some fresh air or go see ur mates but he just shrugs or says “later”. i work part time n rely on him for babysittin sometimes (got 4 boys n pregnant again) but i don’t want that to be his whole summer either. feel like he’s just driftin

is this just how teens are after GCSEs?? i don’t remember bein this lazy but maybe i was 🙈 he’s not rude, just shuts down a lot. i don’t wanna push him but i don’t want him losin all motivation either

any advice?? do i push him to get a job or just let him chill for a bit?? xx

OP posts:
Thewhoositsandthewhatsits · 05/07/2025 22:10

You need to switch off the wifi. He is going to get sick mentally doing this.

arethereanyleftatall · 05/07/2025 22:12

Yes re job. It’s been nearly a month already! Exercise too. There’s so many parties going on for my dd, is he not going to any?

Growlybear83 · 05/07/2025 22:17

He sounds like a typical teenager to me.

GMH1974 · 05/07/2025 22:26

Take away the Xbox

HundredMilesAnHour · 05/07/2025 22:34

Wow. One or both of my parents would have thrown a bucket of cold water over me on day one. 😂

SirChenjins · 05/07/2025 22:36

Perfectly normal for a teenager. Frustrating and annoying as it is, pick your battles. Insist on some chores being done each day, but honestly, they do grow out of it.

aredcar · 05/07/2025 22:39

I think he should absolutely be doing chores but not necessarily babysitting because you are choosing to keep having kids. That’s your job not his.

I wouldn’t let my teen stay on his phone in bed all day- he needs to get out. Send him to the shop for bits and bobs, get him watering the plants.

im guessing he has mobile data so turning WiFi off probably won’t do anything unless he has a small data allowance in which case you could try it

Needmorelego · 05/07/2025 22:39

This is about the only time in someone's life that they have 2 months of no responsibility.
Let him have this short time of freedom.

PandyMoanyMum · 05/07/2025 22:39

At 15 it will be difficult to get a job. But don’t let him bed rot much longer. He will get depressed and/or anxious.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 06/07/2025 08:44

Do you pay him for babysitting all his siblings? I don't think you should be relying on him for that - it's not his fault you keep having babies.

Otherwise, he sounds totally normal.

Original poster
TiredButTryin5x · 06/07/2025 09:29

thanks all xx

yeah i’ve thought about the wifi thing but if i switch it off i end up with all 3 of the others screamin at me too 🙈 my 10yo has meltdowns without his tablet n my 4yo climbs the walls so it’s tricky. ds1 does help out with them when i ask, just feel like he’s stuck in limbo a bit

he hasn’t mentioned any parties or goin out really. he’s got mates but i think some of them are goin college n he’s not sure what he wants to do yet. not sure if he’s feelin down or just enjoyin chillin after exams. i don’t wanna push too hard but i don’t want him feelin lost either

might try n get him to come out with me n ds4 later even if it’s just for a walk or maccies. don’t want his whole summer to vanish in bed 😩

OP posts:
Zippidydoodah · 06/07/2025 09:32

Does he have college/apprenticeship/something lined up for September? You say he doesn’t know what he wants to do yet, but don’t they have to be in education til 18 these days?

Noshadelamp · 06/07/2025 09:38

The lead up to the exams are so intense with revision and stress, it's no wonder they all need a big if a decompression period to rest and recover.
I would hope as time goes on now that you would see a change. Is he interested in going to the cinema, bike ride, train trip to the next town or city?

Start encouraging him with small out of the house trips, half an hour here and there, rather than full on days out.

SaturdayDream · 06/07/2025 09:44

Mine is out at various open days deciding which route to take next, out with friends almost everyday, spending time with me, they go to the gym 3x a week, they pamper themselves etc.

As of tomorrow I would get them to wake up early and find a new routine.

Banannanana · 06/07/2025 10:45

Completely normal.

What I’m more concerned about is you expecting him to babysit your other children. They’re not his responsibility, it was your choice to have that many kids, not his. You need to look after them yourself or pay for childcare.

Octavia64 · 06/07/2025 10:47

Normal.

Pricelessadvice · 06/07/2025 10:50

I was allowed to enjoy that summer after GCSEs, BUT I did get up early every day and go out and do stuff- meet friends, ride the ponies etc.

I’d have a deal with him where he is allowed to enjoy his summer (assume he is going to sixth form or college?) but he has to be up by 10am at the very latest every day. If not, the WiFi’s goes off for 24 hours.

Other than that, can you try and encourage him to go out and see his friends? Social media has made it too easy for kids to just socialise through a screen rather than face to face.

arethereanyleftatall · 06/07/2025 10:52

Quite a few people have responded that this is ‘normal’. It may well be what many are doing, but let’s not pretend it’s in any way good for them.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 06/07/2025 10:52

No house needs the WiFi to be available to kids 24 hours a day. Turn it off at 11pm and back on at 7am

He needs to keep to some semblance of a routine - lying in is fine, but not staying in bed all day every day.

At that age mine did small gardening jobs for friends and neighbours as it’s hard to get proper jobs.

He definitely should have a good idea what he’s doing in September too. Lots of college courses will be full by now - has he applied for anything at all?

Babysitting your younger kids should be a one off, not a regular expectation.

Is his Dad around at all?

TooManyCupsAndMugs · 06/07/2025 10:53

If he hasn't got something lined up for September, then that needs to be a priority. He needs to be applying for college place, A Levels, apprenticeships, whatever. And that means him being out of the house not being your babysitter.

minnienono · 06/07/2025 10:55

Sounds normal enough, as long as it’s time limited as in going to college in September.

Somnambule · 06/07/2025 10:56

arethereanyleftatall · 06/07/2025 10:52

Quite a few people have responded that this is ‘normal’. It may well be what many are doing, but let’s not pretend it’s in any way good for them.

Quite. It's really disturbing how many people think this is fine. It's heartbreaking how young people are being allowed to fester like this, and it's setting them up for serious mental health issues. Please get your teens out of bed and into the real world!

WonderingWanda · 06/07/2025 10:57

Sleeping in is fairly normal for teenagers, their body clocks work bit differently. Being up online all night is not healthy. You say that the others will scream at you if you turn off the WiFi. Overnight, there is no need for any of them to have WiFi. Turn it off between midnight and 7 am op.....or change the passwords at those times. They all need sleep. If your ds gets a but more sleep he will be more agreeable to helping you out a bit. But do make sure you aren't expecting him to fulfil the role of a second parent. He shouldn't be doing lots of childcare, maybe the odd bit of babysitting and some contribution to chores. I would offer a financial incentive for the babysitting as well. It would be healthy for him to do some physical activity, maybe he could get some weights off marketplace or if he has a bike go on bike rides.

TryingAgainAgainAgain · 06/07/2025 10:57

yeah i’ve thought about the wifi thing but if i switch it off i end up with all 3 of the others screamin at me too 🙈 my 10yo has meltdowns without his tablet n my 4yo climbs the walls so it’s tricky. ds1 does help out with them when i ask, just feel like he’s stuck in limbo a bit

You're going to end up with four kids who are bedrotting online if you don't change things.

Turn the WiFi off at 11pm. Surely that won't the younger ones won't even know.

Comedycook · 06/07/2025 11:00

I have a teenage ds and he spends way too much time in his room.on his phone for my liking so I understand the struggle!

However....I'm shocked that as of now you have no plans for what he does come September...why hasn't he applied for a college place or apprenticeship yet? It all sounds very aimless.