Can I leave a 15 and 17 year old alone for 6 days whilst I go on holiday?

[Springhare76]

DH, DS3 and I have booked to go to Turkey for May half term. DS1 17 and DS2, 15, don't want to come as they want to stay in London to hang out with their friends, do sport etc. Both are getting to the age when they don't really want to go on holiday with their mum and stepdad. I had arranged for them to stay with their dad who lives 10 minutes away but they say they want to stay in the house and do their own thing (they're not overly keen on their dad). In any event, even if they did stay with him then they both have keys to the house and would definitely come and hang out here and stay over. Question is, is it safe to leave them alone at this age? They are both tough and self sufficient but probably won't be great at clearing up after themselves and there is a moderate risk DS1 will have a party or at a minimum invite friends over although I don't think he'd be really silly and invite loads. I feel guilty for going away without them but at the same time need a break and to spend some time with DS3 and DH who I barely see due to work schedules (pass like ships in the night). Thoughts?

I've not read through all the replies, but I'd say it really depends on how responsible they are. My parents went to Canada for 2 weeks and left me and my sister when we were (I think) 15 and 18... and they were pretty strict parents. We loved the responsibility, freedom and the fact they'd trusted us. Your eldest could be off to uni soon if that's their life choice- give them the chance to prove they can manage (if they're happy to be left). Dad can always be on emergency standby.

Your partner must have got sick of you having a party every time he left the house. If he was 17 as well of course, he also would have had a party every time you left.

That isn't the point. Have you asked your household insurance for their views?

I strongly advise you do so.

I am not asking for your advice on my household insurance. I have checked the policy and it doesn't require me to notify them of this. Do you think I need to notify them if I'm out of the house for 12 hours at work? Do you think everyone else who leaves there kids for a few days has notified their insurers? What an idiotic comment!!

Totally agree! We have a nutcase poster here saying that the police and social services need to be called for me leaving a 15 and 17 year old alone for 6 days. No wonder the police and SS are in the dire situation they're in when you have crazy people like this wasting their time.

I booked flexi tickets as I always do so that I can change or cancel as needed.

All these posters who raised their kids so badly they are worst than toddlers at 17 and 15... your DIL will absolutely adore you in 10 years time when they will discover what useless men-children they are stuck with 😂

I know! It's absolutely crazy how some of these people can't even contemplate leaving teenagers to fend for themselves for a few days, even with a fridge full of food, Deliveroo, a cleaner coming in, friends nearby and their dad 10 minutes away.

My mum left us at these kinds of ages (and more than once), and we were fine.

We were pretty self-sufficient and not of the type to trash the house though.

All kids won’t automatically have a wild party if their parents aren’t there.

Nowhere did I say they 'needed' to be called. You have neighbours don't you? They are the ones you should be talking to about your intentions.

What a bizarre world you live in Draig. I don't need to "talk to my neighbours" about my intentions. Get a grip on yourself, you seem to have problems.

You are a funny little thing aren't you?
Have a good afternoon.

Not as funny as you. Go and find another post to make stupid comments on.

I don't think I'd be comfortable leaving a 17 & 15 year old for 6 days tbh. Not because I didn't trust them it would be because I wasn't there should something go wrong & they needed me. You say you'd be worried about them not turning the hob off for example. If you have those doubts then you'd not be able to relax if you did leave them alone. I'd give them the choice to either come with you or they stay at their Dads home. If they don't like it then it's tough. It'd be on my mind constantly that I'm a long way away & can't get back to them quick if needed. It would be daft things like if the 15 year old hurt themselves at a sporting session & needed hospital treatment, or if they left the door open/unlocked or friends turned up & took advantage of a parent free house. Only you can make the decision as you know your kids better than anyone.

It’s like most people on this thread forgets that at 18 you are an adult. So if a 17 year old can’t be left alone overnight then you have a problem. And you need to be getting to a situation where they can be pretty quickly.

Well then, if it doesn't say you cannot leave teenagers on rampant hormones and uncontrollable puberty while you go on holiday, fine.

Just don't expect them to cover the cost of the damage - if there is any - when you return.

I would love to know if it's just a hateful comment about all teenagers in general, or if your problem is they are BOYS and you would react very differently for girls?

I think you might have missed the point.

You might have every confidence in your DSs but it is the people they might let into the house you should be concerned about.

They do not necessarily have to be friends with them, but could your teenagers cope with any number of other boys turning up on the doorstep and insisting on coming in.

A band of hooligans on the prowl - and I quite expect you to say your DSs friends are not hooligans - but if hooligans do turn up, how would you think your DSs would defend themselves and your property?

Your valuables would be taken and your house trashed. Suppose it is not your valuables, furniture weed on, and smashed up: knife crime today is worse than ever. Your sons could end up in the hospital or morgue. Can you live with that?

You wanted comments, and advice, I give you mine, which you can choose to do or ignore.

In my view of life, little children are happy to go home to their friends house when you are working. I would not leave a teenager to come home to an empty house after school, yet alone leave for a week.

Do you leave your children alone in the house and go away on holiday and expect them to be all fine when you return?

It isn't a case of girls or boys, just that the OP has boys. Whether I prefer to think boys are naturally destructive and girls are not has no relevance in this thread.

I think boys are equally vulnerable to outside interference. Knife crime is on the increase, and just a quick stab can end a life.

Even if the OP's DSs are perfect, they cannot defend themselves against a crowd of other boys on heat if they - knowing you have left your (say) boys alone for a week - push their way into the house and wreck it. I would think it takes about 10 minutes for a rowdy group to do that, take whatever they can sell to buy drugs, and stick the knife in if the DSs try to stop them.

If children can be stabbed to death on buses and in bus queues, and open areas, they can most certainly be so attacked in the safety of their own home when left alone.

I doubt the police would agree with you if this happened to the OP's children.

I would not leave a teenager to come home to an empty house after school, yet alone leave for a week.

What?

Have YOU ever come home to a empty house at all, or did you go directly from your dad's hand to your husband's hand?

they cannot defend themselves against a crowd of other boys on heat

but YOU could? 😂😂😂

What are you on about? Is your life that boring you are making scenario up, or you are just on a wind-up on this forum?

Right so at 17 that is a risk but in a few months when they are 18 and go and live away at uni maybe in a shared house with other 18 year olds that’s suddenly not a risk any more.

Why on earth would groups of boys break in to the OP’s house? I’m sure they have the option of not opening the door. OP has already said they live in a terrace on a busy street with lots of neighbours around. Making up crazy scenarios that are very unlikely to happen is not particularly helpful.

Like I said, if you can’t leave a 17 year old overnight then something has gone wrong with your parenting.

@Springhare76 I asked about leaving my dd20 ds17 and dd15 for 3 nights and got my arse handed to me and told I was an irresponsible parent!
My 20 year old daughter has been living term time at uni for the last few years, so does beg the question are we all irresponsible parents letting our 18 year old offspring go to uni?

I am now wondering if my husband should be allowed to leave ME home alone, being at risk of house invasion from an army of teenagers with knives, ready to ransack the house to buy drugs and stab me on the way to the safe which we haven't got but what's one more detail in that scenario

Or if I should be offended that I am so menacing a group will never dare pushing past me, but will gladly push a 17yo boy taller and stronger than me 😂