Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Can I leave a 15 and 17 year old alone for 6 days whilst I go on holiday?

667 replies

Springhare76 · 14/05/2025 23:15

DH, DS3 and I have booked to go to Turkey for May half term. DS1 17 and DS2, 15, don't want to come as they want to stay in London to hang out with their friends, do sport etc. Both are getting to the age when they don't really want to go on holiday with their mum and stepdad. I had arranged for them to stay with their dad who lives 10 minutes away but they say they want to stay in the house and do their own thing (they're not overly keen on their dad). In any event, even if they did stay with him then they both have keys to the house and would definitely come and hang out here and stay over. Question is, is it safe to leave them alone at this age? They are both tough and self sufficient but probably won't be great at clearing up after themselves and there is a moderate risk DS1 will have a party or at a minimum invite friends over although I don't think he'd be really silly and invite loads. I feel guilty for going away without them but at the same time need a break and to spend some time with DS3 and DH who I barely see due to work schedules (pass like ships in the night). Thoughts?

OP posts:
MD86 · 16/05/2025 19:55

I left our boys at that age, for a fortnight. They were absolutely fine. Neighbours, granny and cleaner were all on board and were happy. They even had the keys to my car.
But you know your own kids - I trusted mine and they didn't betray that trust

Diblin93 · 16/05/2025 20:21

No

Greeeg · 16/05/2025 21:04

Terrible idea

croydon15 · 16/05/2025 21:38

cramptramp · 14/05/2025 23:24

Ha! Only if you’re not bothered that your house may be trashed whilst you’re away. Your youngest may only invite a few people but I’ve heard lots and lots of times where those few people told other people who told other people etc etc. I’d insist they come on holiday with you.

It happened to me left my DS alone for a weekend, he invited a few friends, the word got out and 2 days later he was still clearing the mess. Not too much damage but few carpets etc had stains. Would never do that again.

watchingthesnowfall · 16/05/2025 21:54

We left our 17, 15 and 10 year olds on their own for 4 nights last month. Eldest two are girls and would never dream of having a party, and are very sensible. Neighbours were around and they had plenty of trusted adults they could call if necessary. Totally fine. Eldest is off to university in the autumn. Personally, I think it’s good to give sensible kids some responsibility.

Bamboozled108 · 16/05/2025 22:26

I think like everyone says it comes down to trust however I think you said you'd already bought the airline or holiday tickets? In which case they should go as they may actually have a good time and it may be the last family Holiday you have in a while

Iceboy80 · 16/05/2025 23:11

Ellephanting · 14/05/2025 23:22

It depends on the children. I left mine at a similar age, along with the family dog. They were absolutely fine.

Totally correct, You know your kids and know if they are responsible enough or if they arnt.

llizzie · 17/05/2025 00:48

Springhare76 · 14/05/2025 23:15

DH, DS3 and I have booked to go to Turkey for May half term. DS1 17 and DS2, 15, don't want to come as they want to stay in London to hang out with their friends, do sport etc. Both are getting to the age when they don't really want to go on holiday with their mum and stepdad. I had arranged for them to stay with their dad who lives 10 minutes away but they say they want to stay in the house and do their own thing (they're not overly keen on their dad). In any event, even if they did stay with him then they both have keys to the house and would definitely come and hang out here and stay over. Question is, is it safe to leave them alone at this age? They are both tough and self sufficient but probably won't be great at clearing up after themselves and there is a moderate risk DS1 will have a party or at a minimum invite friends over although I don't think he'd be really silly and invite loads. I feel guilty for going away without them but at the same time need a break and to spend some time with DS3 and DH who I barely see due to work schedules (pass like ships in the night). Thoughts?

I don't think there is a law against it, but do you think it wise? Will you have a house to come back to?

Do you really think two teenagers won't spread the word they have the house to themselves.

It is just about the daftest question I have read in a long time. Why do you ask if you think it OK?

1SillySossij · 17/05/2025 03:56

I remember being left in charge of my 15 year old brother at a similar age and him getting really drunk and vomiting copiously. I was quite frightened

Hmm1234 · 17/05/2025 06:59

Springhare76 · 14/05/2025 23:15

DH, DS3 and I have booked to go to Turkey for May half term. DS1 17 and DS2, 15, don't want to come as they want to stay in London to hang out with their friends, do sport etc. Both are getting to the age when they don't really want to go on holiday with their mum and stepdad. I had arranged for them to stay with their dad who lives 10 minutes away but they say they want to stay in the house and do their own thing (they're not overly keen on their dad). In any event, even if they did stay with him then they both have keys to the house and would definitely come and hang out here and stay over. Question is, is it safe to leave them alone at this age? They are both tough and self sufficient but probably won't be great at clearing up after themselves and there is a moderate risk DS1 will have a party or at a minimum invite friends over although I don't think he'd be really silly and invite loads. I feel guilty for going away without them but at the same time need a break and to spend some time with DS3 and DH who I barely see due to work schedules (pass like ships in the night). Thoughts?

Nope they are planning to have house parties or do other illegal activities around London while their parents aren’t nearby to watch them. Imagine if something serious happened and you’re out of the country

NavyTurtle · 17/05/2025 07:34

atata · 14/05/2025 23:23

No way. The 17yo is not responsible enough and the 15yo is a child. 6 days is a long time. I left mine for the first time for 2 days when they were 16/18.

I got married at 17 in 1977. What would you have done, come on my honeymoon with me???

Cloudtime · 17/05/2025 09:57

I left mine in very similar circumstances a few months ago for the first time . They were 17 (very nearly 18) and 16.

I had a rule of no friends round whatsoever while I was away to avoid the party situation. They were absolutely fine. Apart from the house looking like a bomb had hit it , which I expected, no issues whatsoever . They enjoyed the peace and quiet without the younger sibling and the independence.
Their Dad and my Dad kept an eye on them to an extent (mainly replenishing the copious amounts of food they got through). The 16 year old is very mature and reliable though and they can both prepare meals. You know your own children ……. Go with your instincts .

Discombobble · 17/05/2025 10:02

I have done this - they survived - with family members checking in on them. Depends if yours know how to look after themselves, though

Diddlyumptious · 17/05/2025 12:44

Goodness me, NO! too risky regardless of what they say.

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 17/05/2025 13:05

I am still waiting for people who think that 15 and 17 is too young, HOW OLD do the children need to be to be left alone?

1SillySossij · 17/05/2025 13:05

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 17/05/2025 13:05

I am still waiting for people who think that 15 and 17 is too young, HOW OLD do the children need to be to be left alone?

16

Todaysworldandbiscuits · 17/05/2025 13:07

NavyTurtle · 17/05/2025 07:34

I got married at 17 in 1977. What would you have done, come on my honeymoon with me???

Show quote history

Unless the child has additional needs/difficulties, the parenting on here isn't the best. If your 17 year old and 15 year old (together) are so disrespectful that they would "trash" the house, and not know how to cook a meal, stick a wash on, and do basic household tasks than god help them when they're all grown up! You aren't doing them any favours at all. The replies on here are batshit, typical MN.
Oh and I don't think you need checking in on unless you're a little kid. People move out at 18!

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 17/05/2025 13:14

1SillySossij · 17/05/2025 13:05

16

Show quote history

but the eldest is already 17? I don't understand the reasoning of most posters.

Maddy70 · 17/05/2025 13:44

No

GoldOP · 17/05/2025 14:14

Left ours for first time last year for 4 nights, they were 16 and 19. Think 15 is too young tbh, it’s your decision not theirs and they need to be told they are staying with their dad if they are choosing not to holiday with you.

stomachamelon · 17/05/2025 14:56

If it was me I would let the 17 year old stay and show them they can be trusted but not the one in year 10. They can either come on holiday or go to their dads….. and I would be firm on expecting the key to be handed over and decision respected.

llizzie · 17/05/2025 16:58

Springhare76 · 14/05/2025 23:52

Thanks all. Very helpful. My gut is telling me not to go although it's a shame as we have flights booked as they were supposed to come but we can reschedule.

DO YOU OWN YOUR HOME?

If you do, you have to inform the house insurers that you will be leaving the house for a week with two teenagers in charge.

They could make your insurance policy null and void. Your mortgage lender could even foreclose on your home.

Look it up.

IF YOU DO NOT own your home, the same thing will happen to your landlord if you don't inform the agent working for him/her.

I advise you to CANCEL the holiday or find an activity holiday for your children. There are many available if you act fast. They cost an arm and a leg, but worth it. PGL are good for this, or a holiday camp with activities.

Todaysworldandbiscuits · 17/05/2025 17:41

GoldOP · 17/05/2025 14:14

Left ours for first time last year for 4 nights, they were 16 and 19. Think 15 is too young tbh, it’s your decision not theirs and they need to be told they are staying with their dad if they are choosing not to holiday with you.

So if they're 15 and 11 months old it's a "no." 16 is fine. May I ask what life skills a 16 year old would have gained compared to a 15 year old?

OliveWah · 17/05/2025 17:56

WRT your concerns about them leaving the hob on specifically, you could tell them that any time they want to use the cooker, they have to text to let you know, then send a photo of the switched off hob once they've finished. That way you'll be aware that the hob is being used and if you don't get a photo of the switched off hob within a certain amount of time, you can call and remind them.

I would also leave a checklist attached to the inside of the front door with the days of the week you're away and a checkbox for each day and each thing they need to remember to do i.e. Hob switched off, Back door locked, Lights off etc. and they have to initial it to say it's been done as they leave each day.

GoldOP · 17/05/2025 19:08

Todaysworldandbiscuits · 17/05/2025 17:41

So if they're 15 and 11 months old it's a "no." 16 is fine. May I ask what life skills a 16 year old would have gained compared to a 15 year old?

Show quote history

It reads like the op’s 15 year old is year 10, my ds had left school and started college and was 1 month off turning 17 and the crucial difference here is he was left with an adult, a 19 year old!!