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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Can I leave a 15 and 17 year old alone for 6 days whilst I go on holiday?

667 replies

Springhare76 · 14/05/2025 23:15

DH, DS3 and I have booked to go to Turkey for May half term. DS1 17 and DS2, 15, don't want to come as they want to stay in London to hang out with their friends, do sport etc. Both are getting to the age when they don't really want to go on holiday with their mum and stepdad. I had arranged for them to stay with their dad who lives 10 minutes away but they say they want to stay in the house and do their own thing (they're not overly keen on their dad). In any event, even if they did stay with him then they both have keys to the house and would definitely come and hang out here and stay over. Question is, is it safe to leave them alone at this age? They are both tough and self sufficient but probably won't be great at clearing up after themselves and there is a moderate risk DS1 will have a party or at a minimum invite friends over although I don't think he'd be really silly and invite loads. I feel guilty for going away without them but at the same time need a break and to spend some time with DS3 and DH who I barely see due to work schedules (pass like ships in the night). Thoughts?

OP posts:
Lougle · 15/05/2025 14:20

notthatoldchestnut · 15/05/2025 09:36

You know that it’s legal for a 16yr old to get married and have a baby right? Some 17 year olds are plenty responsible enough.

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You have to be 18 to marry now.

vegantart · 15/05/2025 14:24

I was left longer, with pets. I was fine.

Aimeee1989 · 15/05/2025 14:27

Todaysworldandbiscuits · 15/05/2025 10:27

Can't he cook himself rather than grandparents?

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He can cook yes but I need to be sure he's having something proper and they want to also so they've offered for him to go between them. My own mom has 8 grandchildren she's not old either and has the grandkids regularly so no different for her tbh.

crackofdoom · 15/05/2025 14:29

Aw....I have some very fond memories of parties at my friend's house when she and her brother were exactly those ages! Her parents would often go away for weekends, and her father's edict was always "No vomiting, spillage or fornication" 😆. I can't say this was always adhered to, but the house was always spick and span by the time they got back.

Interestingly, it seems that an acquaintance's kids round the corner have been left alone at exactly that age for a few days at the moment. My guess is they'll be fine- the 17 year old is no party animal, and I'm sure the 15 year old will have a few mates around, but we live rurally with no public transport in the evenings, which should prevent the entire school from trying to turn up.

Maybe the risks are greater in cities- I know a friend from London used to leave her 14 year old overnight and she used to get besieged by slightly older kids trying to invite themselves in 😬

Pinkandgreentrousers · 15/05/2025 14:31

I left my 2 at that age for 5 days while we went to Prague. There were fine.

NewMrsF · 15/05/2025 14:43

I’d trust my son to be alone for a week at 7. He gets the occasional weekend alone at home now at 15. he’s incredibly trust worthy and very sensible though. Some kids that age may as well be 9.

Things to consider are, will they cook properly/safely?
do you have a list of numbers for them to call if they need help?
do they get on or will they fight without an adult there to mediate?
are they smart enough to not let people know they have a free house?

ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers · 15/05/2025 14:43

I think there’s far too much focus on their age. It’s merely a number. Would it make a difference if you went on a Tuesday when they’re 17 but they turned 18 on the Wednesday? I doubt it!

But as their mother you’ll know how capable they are. I’ve just been away for a few days with DD2 leaving behind DS1 (18 but turns 19 in a couple of weeks) and DD3 (15). I paid for someone to come in and keep an eye on them (not babysit as such just be around) and am massively relieved I did otherwise the serious leak from a toilet cistern could have been way way way worse. It’s not how they handle day to day things it’s how they could think through problems that are not foreseeable. There is NO WAY either of them would have been able to work out how to turn off the water. A mole hill would 100% have turned into a mountain.

18 year olds are, very often, not really adults despite what the law says. They’re adults with training wheels still attached!

Bluedenimdoglover · 15/05/2025 15:11

No way would I let two teenagers have the run of the house. Why can't their Dad come to stay in the house with them?

Bamboozled108 · 15/05/2025 15:21

Docwillseeyounow · 15/05/2025 11:25

@Bamboozled108 And what where the consequences for not doing what was required of him?

He's had pocket money deducted from his weekly allowance as if he doesnt do the chores we set on a list (right on the fridge where hes always in)the money gets deducted. So hes barely got any left for this week. And he won't be staying here alone for a week so that's annoyed him more than the no pocket money!

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 15/05/2025 16:28

AngelinaFibres · 15/05/2025 07:50

Move out , so live elsewhere and can happily trash that for their uni years. Not the same as trashing the family home .

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Why do you all 18 year olds would happily trash a uni room? I didn’t, my friends didn’t when they lived out. Not all 18 year olds are irresponsible idiots.

Seamond · 15/05/2025 17:13

Can't you just leave the older one, and take the younger one

Smurfette63 · 15/05/2025 17:14

My 15 yo was very mature and it wasn't neglectful at all. They knew their grandparents phone number which was only a 5 minute walk away. It depends how much trust you show them growing up whether they behave. Now that's good parenting!

CannotWaitForSummervibes · 15/05/2025 17:29

NO.

Vevvie · 15/05/2025 17:41

I would go on holiday but they’d be staying with their dad with no keys until I come home.

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 15/05/2025 18:09

out of curiosity, if people are in utter shock at the idea of leaving a 15 and 17 year old, how old do your kids have to be to stay home alone?

Original poster
Springhare76 · 15/05/2025 18:38

Ok so both kids are very confident, streetwise and self sufficient although both are quite messy and probably won't clear up after themselves. DS2 will most definitely not want or expect DS1 to look after him - if anything DS2 is more mature than DS1. I work full time so they are used to being in the house alone, ordering Deliveroo, going shopping if need be etc. We live in a terraced house in London with lots of friends locally and we know the neighbours either side and opposite in case there was an emergency. I am not overly worried about a massive party as I think they are both fairly sensible but am more worried about one of them leaving the hob on and just the general feeling that I am jetting off and leaving them alone! That said DS1 has been saying for ages he wants to stay home alone, why don't I trust him etc. DS2 has back to back football commitments with friends to keep him busy. We did go away before and I asked my mother to come which was pointless and actually did more harm than good as they came and went as they wanted, didn't eat anything she cooked (so she gave up) and she ended up breaking a few things around the house as she didn't know how they worked, so not doing that again (nor would she agree to come).

OP posts:
HuskyNew · 15/05/2025 19:06

Against the grain but I was left at 16 for a week with my 14yo brother and we were absolutely fine. In a dodgy area as well. I don’t resent anyone !

Kids these days are babied until they go to uni. Ill remind myself of this as mine get older.

HuskyNew · 15/05/2025 19:09

Springhare76 · 15/05/2025 18:38

Ok so both kids are very confident, streetwise and self sufficient although both are quite messy and probably won't clear up after themselves. DS2 will most definitely not want or expect DS1 to look after him - if anything DS2 is more mature than DS1. I work full time so they are used to being in the house alone, ordering Deliveroo, going shopping if need be etc. We live in a terraced house in London with lots of friends locally and we know the neighbours either side and opposite in case there was an emergency. I am not overly worried about a massive party as I think they are both fairly sensible but am more worried about one of them leaving the hob on and just the general feeling that I am jetting off and leaving them alone! That said DS1 has been saying for ages he wants to stay home alone, why don't I trust him etc. DS2 has back to back football commitments with friends to keep him busy. We did go away before and I asked my mother to come which was pointless and actually did more harm than good as they came and went as they wanted, didn't eat anything she cooked (so she gave up) and she ended up breaking a few things around the house as she didn't know how they worked, so not doing that again (nor would she agree to come).

Honestly it sounds like they’ll be fine.

They can go to dinner with mates a couple of nights. Got school & sport to keep them busy. And you have technology to keep in touch.

The views on here can turn into an echo chamber and the proportion of ND / anxious kids & parents is higher than average. Well balanced teens like yours would benefit from the trust and independence

Noodles1234 · 15/05/2025 19:33

Personally no, but I would have decided before booking the holiday.

My neighbours did something similar, kids were older and came back to a wrecked house with £££ of damage think TVs etc (2nd time of leaving them).

Botanybaby · 15/05/2025 19:45

Hahahahaha

No

AmazingBouncingFerret · 15/05/2025 19:57

I did it for two weeks and we were a good 11 hour plane journey away!
Eldest was just turned 18, youngest 15. No parties, animals still alive, didn’t kill each other. In fact I would go as far as saying that they are closer now than they were before I went. (Trauma does that I suppose)

Delatron · 15/05/2025 20:24

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 15/05/2025 18:09

out of curiosity, if people are in utter shock at the idea of leaving a 15 and 17 year old, how old do your kids have to be to stay home alone?

This thread is insane. People go off to uni and live alone at 18 but they can’t be left for 6 days at 17. Great parenting!

15 is a bit different but 17! You do know at 16 you can leave home and move out?

Kids are really wrapped in cotton wool these days.

Delatron · 15/05/2025 20:25

I went abroad with a friend for a week at 17. As I’m sure many did…

Botanybaby · 15/05/2025 20:29

Springhare76 · 15/05/2025 09:14

No, of course neither of them have exams, good grief! I definitely wouldn't go away if they were. They are year 12 and year 10. Part of the reason for going now is that we couldn't go in May half term last year due to DS1's GCSEs and won't be able to go May half term next year due to the double whammy of GCSEs and A-levels.

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Good grief of course we wouldn't go if they had exams

The most shocking thing here is you think it's absolutely fine to leave a year 10 child home alone

You are bonkers

Private1980 · 15/05/2025 20:53

If you trust them and there dad is 10 minutes away and you know both neighbours well then go if there as mature as you say they are then do it but exspect a mess when you get back but there again they may surprise you I hardly saw my parents growing up both full time jobs we cooked ironed cleaned at 14. If it makes you feel better why not get a pet cam or a indoor ring camera for the kitchen just to monitor if anything else