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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Child has been missing since 9pm - frantic !

449 replies

MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 04:03

I don’t even know if anyone is awake to read this but my neurodivergent 13 yr old son left the house quietly at 9pm and hasn’t come home . I caught him out about something pretty awful he had done, and he denied it and left rather than deal with it / talk about it , he left.

We live in central London and he’s gone without keys , phone or money . After 2 hours driving around looking for him, l reported to the police and they have him now listed as a vulnerable missing person but l’m going out of my mind .

Has any other parent experienced this ? My head is going to a thousand awful scenarios …it’s 4 am now and so cold .

OP posts:
WinterFoxes · 08/05/2025 05:52

MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 05:44

In my head they are sitting there doing nothing ( untrue l know ) so l’m trying to trust them as the experts .

Show quote history

If it's any consolation, my son ( who looks very young for his age) was stopped several times in Central London by police looking for a missing teen who matched his description. They do keep looking. It will be easier now the sun is up.

I really hope he's found soon.

Lilactimes · 08/05/2025 05:53

Hi @MrsLighthouse - am thinking of you and sending strength and I’m sure he will be back soon. He may have curled up and fallen asleep somewhere and not realised how long he’s been out.
xxx

Jollyjoy · 08/05/2025 05:53

Oh the stress, how awful. Sending strength and hope he appears very soon.

Original poster
MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 05:54

Telemichus · 08/05/2025 05:49

This is going to sound stupid, but have you rechecked your whole house & garden?
I hope he shows up soon.

It’s a small flat but l’ve still checked the cupboards and block ! X

OP posts:
jamdan21 · 08/05/2025 05:55

You've got a handhold from me too. Hope he's ok and comes home soon.

Feelingmuchbetter · 08/05/2025 05:56

I am embarrassed to say I did this at his age (also adhd) and it was to teach my mother a lesson for being so horrible to me, I stuck it out to early morning and couldn’t wait to get home, I never did it again. Running away was more common back then, and most of my friends also did this a few times too. He is angry and upset but he will calm down eventually.

Original poster
MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 05:57

Lilactimes · 08/05/2025 05:53

Hi @MrsLighthouse - am thinking of you and sending strength and I’m sure he will be back soon. He may have curled up and fallen asleep somewhere and not realised how long he’s been out.
xxx

He hasn’t got a watch or his phone and he can’t really tell the time anyway. I’m hoping dearly his hunger will rouse him .

OP posts:
Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 08/05/2025 05:57

Gosh - rejection sensitivity is strong with ADHD.. when he comes back k just love him.

Feelingmuchbetter · 08/05/2025 06:05

Yes be loving and welcoming when he comes back, and reassure him that you know he didn’t mean to worry you, he will be struggling with his ND, hormones and pressure.

Have you looked through his phone for clues? Who he has been talking to etc? .

whynotmereally · 08/05/2025 06:07

Thinking of you hope he comes back soon. My ds has asd and goes into flight mode when he’s overwhelmed, mostly in the house he will run and hide somewhere . It has happened a few times when outside but he’s stayed close by and we have either found him or he has come back when calmer.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 08/05/2025 06:07

Telemichus · 08/05/2025 05:49

This is going to sound stupid, but have you rechecked your whole house & garden?
I hope he shows up soon.

Not stupid at all. I think there is every chance a dysregulated 13yo might hide out in a shed or similar. I nearly posted the same thing myself. How are you doing OP is your H home yet ?

Original poster
MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 06:07

Feelingmuchbetter · 08/05/2025 05:56

I am embarrassed to say I did this at his age (also adhd) and it was to teach my mother a lesson for being so horrible to me, I stuck it out to early morning and couldn’t wait to get home, I never did it again. Running away was more common back then, and most of my friends also did this a few times too. He is angry and upset but he will calm down eventually.

Thank you . The police asked SO many questions ( l know they are doing their job well obviously ) but talk of gangs , grooming and suicide freaked me out more than l was already !

OP posts:
XelaM · 08/05/2025 06:08

Oh OP I hope he comes back soon!! Could he be inside a 24hr McDonalds?

SoMuchBadAdvice · 08/05/2025 06:08

So sorry. Try to let everyone else be scared for you, soon it will all be over and back to normal, but meantime it's all just so frightening!

MoreChocPls · 08/05/2025 06:09

Are there any McDonald’s open near you where he may go for food?

Oohitsagoodpaper · 08/05/2025 06:10

Thinking of you and saying a prayer that your son returns safe and sound soon.

Original poster
MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 06:10

Feelingmuchbetter · 08/05/2025 06:05

Yes be loving and welcoming when he comes back, and reassure him that you know he didn’t mean to worry you, he will be struggling with his ND, hormones and pressure.

Have you looked through his phone for clues? Who he has been talking to etc? .

Thank you ..l will be so glad to have him back all sins are forgotten . I’ve spent hours looking through his phone and there’s nothing alarming really ..l know they hide stuff but his ND means he’s quite immature anyway.

OP posts:
Mumontherunn · 08/05/2025 06:10

A handhold here. Could he be on a bus for warmth, doing a big loop?

Original poster
MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 06:11

MoreChocPls · 08/05/2025 06:09

Are there any McDonald’s open near you where he may go for food?

He didn’t take any money or his go Henry card but as soon as l go back out to look it’s a good call !

OP posts:
TwinklyRoseTurtle · 08/05/2025 06:12

Handhold OP, hope he comes home soon 🥺

NoisyLemonDog · 08/05/2025 06:12

Keeping everything crossed that he will be found soon. Does he know your address or phone number off by heart if he needs to ask for help?

SeasonalKitsch · 08/05/2025 06:13

I’ve been on the asking questions side as a police call handler. They’re horrible and you know you’re making the parents feel worse by asking but they just need as much information as possible early and up front. We took so many of these calls OP, you wouldn’t know it but so many teens run away to prove a point. Every one of the reports I took was resolved the next day when they turned up cold and hungry but no worse.

Really hope he’s found soon.

Original poster
MrsLighthouse · 08/05/2025 06:14

Mumontherunn · 08/05/2025 06:10

A handhold here. Could he be on a bus for warmth, doing a big loop?

The police took his zip card number but lm sure tracing that takes time ? Thanks for the you x

OP posts:
Mugcake · 08/05/2025 06:14

Hope he's home soon OP! can't imagine how worried you are!

RogersOrganismicProcess · 08/05/2025 06:14

Would he be likely to turn up at his school, now that it is light? I wonder if that would be worth a check. Keeping everything crossed for you.

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