Child has been missing since 9pm - frantic !

[MrsLighthouse]

I don’t even know if anyone is awake to read this but my neurodivergent 13 yr old son left the house quietly at 9pm and hasn’t come home . I caught him out about something pretty awful he had done, and he denied it and left rather than deal with it / talk about it , he left.

We live in central London and he’s gone without keys , phone or money . After 2 hours driving around looking for him, l reported to the police and they have him now listed as a vulnerable missing person but l’m going out of my mind .

Has any other parent experienced this ? My head is going to a thousand awful scenarios …it’s 4 am now and so cold .

Thank you ! I agree with ALL of this - including caffeine although he becomes obsessed with drinking it very quickly. ( and kefir drinks which are also good ! ) we’ve discussed safe places for me to pick him up from and where ( indoors ..like a station ) is a place to ask for help. It’s so hard sometimes x love to your family x

Have his adhd meds reviewed what's he currently taking.

So glad to hear he's home.

He isn’t on any ..we are exploring options

That's not correct, you're talking rubbish. I have 3 with neuro diversity & meds can help. But they also come with their own issues. Mine are all mostly All A's at a level & at excellent unis. None are on drugs.

Of the illegal kind I should state!
They do take elvanse to help with focus & concentration when needed. But for gap year or holiday jobs they don't need Elvanse.

I'm so sorry this happened, I'm so glad he's home. My son is 14 and ND too, he'd been having mental health issues that he hadn't made us aware of, and just before Christmas he ran out of the house late at night. Luckily the noise made us aware something was up, and DH was able to catch him a couple of streets away. He hasn't been to school since, he's run away another couple of times, we're always fearful he'll do it again. He said he planned to get a train, but it was the middle of the night and he had no money.

Soo glad he's home! They sure know how to scare the life out of you!

My neurodivergent lad would do it every couple of weeks. When things got too much for him at senior school, he'd ask permission to go to the toilet and then just walk out the doors. I'd be driving around looking for him while my partner stayed at home in case he came home and to be there for the older 2 getting home. Occasionally he'd come back home on his own, the majority of the time it was the police who would find him hours later and bring him home. He assigned him a worker from a local team called Runaways who he could contact anytime he felt he needed to walk out of school, who could help talk him down and get him to stay at school.

No matter how many times he did it, it still scared the life out of me.

I have a friend whose son is Autistic and I've known him since he was a baby and my SIL specializes with Autism, I personally deal with ADD and my family with plenty of ADHD. I don't know what your son's place or items are that bring peace or something he gets entranced by. There are probably technical terminology for those things, I don't know what it is. I just know patterns what he does, my kids, and students on the Autism does.
So from my own observations I can tell you that sounds about normal.
It's amazing to me how some kids are just wanting to know about textures or patterns or sounds and just up and go to see what it is. Or it's something they are emotionally attached to bench. It's challenging to get them to say why they did it, what are they trying to figure out, and teach them how to go about it. As long as they understand things enough to not endanger themselves that would be peace enough for many parents. The social side will always be a challenging.

Thank God for that. Love xxx

I know it well. Horrible feeling. Happened to me with my 3 yr old autistic son. Caused the divorce in the end but he was safe with the police.

I'm glad he's ok. I went through this last wk. My son who is also neurodivergent and 14 got mad at me and walked off into the field across the street from our house at 9pm. I figured he would just sit there but when we saw he wasn't sitting there after some time we started looking for him. We looked for about 30 mins and then called the cops. Just as the cops came my fiance found him after searching the field and the lake that's there at least 5x and he was sitting in the dark behind the brushes. I was out of my mind. His grandparents came to search too. It was a nightmare. Cops did put him in the system as a runaway now unfortunately. Its really hard when they can't handle their emotions and go off like that. Very scary. I'm happy your son's okay. Its never easy.

Bless your heart x thank goodness he’s home x

I am so glad he has been found. I am half a world away and was so happy to read this update. Adhd family here as well so I can understand. Lots of cuddles and space for him to recover and get back back to normal. Is he seeing anyone like a counsellor who is familiar with nurodivergent teens to help with strategies when emotions get big? Medication has helped us, but it was trial and error. Lots of virtual hugs this end and no need to answer - just thoughts for later to process when you are ready as a family - love the idea of an Apple Watch as well ( previous posters idea). Wonderful news.

l really feel that fear that you did …we try to support my boy as much as we can possible do but his emotions are so strong it’s hard to reach him . I’m so glad your son was ok but it’s a terrifying time when you’re thinking of all the bad outcomes. Someone on here suggested talking about deciding a “safe place” where you can go and get them from if they feel overwhelmed or feel they can’t come back home . Mine picked the bus stop by him primary school . Made me feel a tiny bit more hopeful it would be better if it happens again. Sending love to your family x

I feel for you ..it’s so hard when you try to manage and support their emotions but sometimes you just can’t reach them . Someone on here suggested ( when they are calm ) deciding on a “safe place” where you can pick them up from when they want to be found or feel like they can’t come home . My boy thought it was a weird question but picked the bus stop outside his primary school. Anything helps l guess. Also you can ask the police to contact British Transport Police to set an alarm at stations . So glad your son is ok ..sending love to your family x

Glad he's home. It's not easy being a parent, I think we can all agree on that. The emotions you feel when they are away from home and you can't get hold of them is like nothing else.

Sadly he just won’t engage with counsellors / SENDCO etc ..very stubborn. He’s not on medication but we are exploring that avenue . Thanks for the support.

I’ll look into “runaways” to see if it’s something we could access. I’m sure the stress and fear doesn’t get any less with subsequent absences but lm so glad your boy is safe . Thank you x

I’m glad your boy was safe . The police are good . X

So sad