DD is becoming a nightmare made a right scene at doctors today

[BluntSheep]

DD 15.Its like my once sweet little girl has just changed overnight and had a complete personality transplant.

She has started to become a very impatient, opinionated and borderline rude individual.

Was at doctors today as she was experiencing some sensitive issues and she made a right scene in the place because apparently the Doc kept asking irrelevant questions and was implying that she "didn't believe her" to certain questions and was repeating them. She stormed out said your really not good at your job and demanded another doctor. I was so embarrassed I just froze everyone was staring at me.

I don't know what to do will she grow out of this is it just a phase or do I need to take action and get real tough with her.

The first GP was unhelpful, by exercising her right to a second opinion she may be further along.

@FrostFlowers2025

"OP, you should know that "making a scene" is a really sexist term. I have yet to see it applied to men."

To be fair, both DS and DH are perfectly capable of making a scene.

I was reading a thread last night about the appalling abuse, verbal and physical, that public facing workers have to endure nowadays and lots of sympathy was given to those on the receiving end.

Now I read a thread where posters are high fiving and celebrating a teenager verbally abusing a GP, and lots of people proudly saying they would have done worse or wish you could.

And we wonder why we have a crisis of recruitment in jobs that involve dealing with people 🙄.

Why would you just sit there, and not say anything?

Oh and the gaslighting goes on more than you think.
My sister was gaslit by a nurse who was adamant she had dropped something on her foot to produce a strange bruise even though it started on the underside and spread up and over the top. Nothing my sister said would change the nurses mind. No one took it seriously until
other weird bruises appeared elsewhere.
The nurse just flat out refused to believe her.

I can't believe how many people think it's totally fine for a 13 year old to verbally abuse a medical professional! And before anyone comments on me not understanding teenagers, I have them and would be horrified if they spoke to anyone like that.

Medical professionals will often ask questions that seem irrelevant because they need to build a picture, or because there are links that a layman would not make. The fact that your 13 year old thinks she knows better than a medical professional with a minimum of 10 years experience is absolutely insane.

If the doctor was being patronising etc there are many, many different ways to deal with that. The first being probably to invite you in to the consultation to help her advocate for herself but I would imagine that she went in knowing what she wants and disgusted that the Gp dared to have a different opinion.

For all the people who are backing her up, you get that this is one of the major reasons why we have so few GP's now and why they are leaving in droves. Would you like to train for a decade plus, do the best job you can in very difficult circumstances only to be abused by a 13 year old? And if they are being abused by children and the parents are backing up said child, can you imagine how abusive they will be as an adult? As a HCP I was spat on, punched, kicked an and human shit thrown at me. And that's without all the verbal abuse. As a society I despair if we think this behaviour is in any way acceptable.

Some of us have already said she needs to apologise for her behaviour, but also explain in the email why she was frustrated.

Although it’s good to have manners I also think that it’s important as a woman to be able to stand up for yourself and not be fobbed off so well done to her! (By the way, I’m a nurse and an all for being told if I’m not listening or being shit!).

Please don’t say ‘sensitive issues’, it makes it sound like it’s something to be ashamed of.
Take a leaf out of your dds book.

@BananaNirvana

I think that highlights how bad the current GP problem is. A close relative of mine was repeatedly fobbed off at our surgery, despite presenting with very worrying symptoms, until they ended up very ill in hospital. Even afterwards, no apology was given. Relative needs regular appointments for post op care which are being given VERY begrudgingly. A lot of people in my town have similar stories and I've heard enough from friend living in different areas/news stories/posts on here that it is not just my town. Sometimes, we can't just sit with big grins on our faces and accept shit treatment. Sometimes we need to stand up for ourselves. Sometimes, GPs need telling.

Why? Even if she did have a point that's not the to conduct yourself. She embarrassed herself and OP

I’m on your daughter’s side then .
I left a surgery last year in tears I made a complaint .
Doctors don’t listen these days . Unless you go in with an obvious problem it’s a waste of time .

Your daughter knew how she was being treated abs dealt with it how a teenager would . Not ideal but she is 15 and you can’t control her emotions/ feelings/thoughts .

I still go in with my 14 year old. Never thought anything of it.

What about the flip side. Doctors are just so dis interested . Not care or concern anymore .

Not everyone is in with anxiety or wants pain killers .

So no you don’t have the experience of being on the other side of it. Ok got it.

What exactly is she suffering with though OP because there is a divide here and it could be either or a mixture of both

I have made a huge scene once, when 2 midwives refused to believe I was in labour and told me to get back to my room and wait until labour pains really hit. I told them unless they took me to the delivery room right then and there I was going to shout and scream in reception and wake everyone up in the antenatal ward. DS was born 45 minutes later after needing a ventouse delivery because he went into distress. The last 10 minutes before he was born was scary with a lot of running around to get him out safely and I dread to think what would have happened if I hadn’t made a scene.

So I am 100% that I needed to make the scene as you call it to get the outcome I had to get to make sure he was ok but I still look back on it with a mixture of pride embarrassment and sadness.

I also shouted at the receptionist in A&E when she told me to take a seat with the same child (when he was 3) and he had a spreading non blanching rash - again once they saw he had immediate attention

Sometimes you do need to to be heard, you should not have to but you do

talk to her see how she feels - as I said even though in both instances I was right I knew I was right I still do have mixed emotions about doing so - does she because I think that will say something

and push to get her listened too

Do you know what, at this point just privatise the whole bloody NHS.
When we have to pay £120 per appointment we might expect more respect on both sides.

Great to see this descend into a GP bashing thread, I don’t know anyone in real life who would think this behaviour, from a child, is to be encouraged.

Some GP's are awful. I wish I'd snapped back at several of them over the years.

There’s a difference between standing up for yourself and being downright rude. It sounds like op was already concerned about the change in her daughter - she’s become impatient, opinionated and borderline rude. The teenage years are difficult but mostly things improve with time and guidance from parents. Maybe have a chat with her once things have calmed down, it’s good to advocate for yourself but it’s possible to do that without behaving abusively towards others.

I have a life long medical condition that very few doctors have heard of. I've had multiple encounters with GPs and specialists, some good some not. I've never felt the need to storm out of a consultation and verbally abuse a doctor because I was taught from a young age that the world doesn't revolve around me. I have had more than enough experience on both sides to have an opinion thanks. However good or not the appointment was OP shouldn't be indulging in this embarrasing and inappropriate behaviour. The teen needs to be learning more sociable ways to express herself. That's on mum not the GP.

If she felt she wasn’t being listened to, she is perfectly within her rights to tell the GP that. Nothing wrong with saying “I do not feel you are listening to me. I would like a second opinion”. Alternatively, she could have come out and spoken to reception to request a second opinion or asked you op to arrange it. It is not ok for her to start shouting and having what sounds like a tantrum. She’s 15, not 5.

Did the OP say there was shouting ?

Im also not seeing the “verbal abuse” people keep referring to ? Did I miss a post where the OP said she screamed/shouted/swore or called the doctor a useless cow ?

Unfortunately this is the result of the media relentlessly bashing GPs. The public thinks it's ok to be as disrespectful as they like to them and completely dehumanise them. The result has already been a significant increase in the abuse of GPs and receptionists and a catastrophic decline in people chosing to train as a GP. It's pretty disgusting how easily swayed people are into excusing horrible behaviour under the guise of these 'terrible doctors who don't listen and don't do anything all day'.

@Youcantcallacatspider

If you go into every consultation with a teenager expecting them to be irrational, the appointment is already off to a bad start for the patient. You probably aren't going to take them seriously and therefore on some occasions will fail to detect things. Teenagers get treated irrationally and aren't taken seriously through many walks of life, so while I don't condone shouting and swearing, I don't blame them from getting frustrated when they are worried about a health problem and aren't taken seriously by medical professionals.

I work in pastoral setting in a school as well so I understand how teenagers can be.

I'm with your teenager.
What a brave young child to embarrass herself like that.
It would have taken a lot for your child to challenge someone in power and kicking off in a space like that would have taken a lot.
If she's opened the door then she seems to have trusted that you would have advocated for her.
You had your chance to and because no one stepped in she seems to have attempted to do so herself.
Believe your daughter, she's not over reacted. She's got sensitive issues that are causing her a great deal of stress and needs her mum to help.