DD is becoming a nightmare made a right scene at doctors today

[BluntSheep]

DD 15.Its like my once sweet little girl has just changed overnight and had a complete personality transplant.

She has started to become a very impatient, opinionated and borderline rude individual.

Was at doctors today as she was experiencing some sensitive issues and she made a right scene in the place because apparently the Doc kept asking irrelevant questions and was implying that she "didn't believe her" to certain questions and was repeating them. She stormed out said your really not good at your job and demanded another doctor. I was so embarrassed I just froze everyone was staring at me.

I don't know what to do will she grow out of this is it just a phase or do I need to take action and get real tough with her.

For every moan about patient care on this thread (which aren’t remotely relevant to the OP’s rude daughter’s behaviour), there will be a tale that demonstrates the absolute opposite.

If I went to a doctor with a broken leg I wouldn't expect to be asked about my sexual history or I was feeling anxious.

So much of this boils down to basic communication skills.
Some doctors are fantastic and others are dire. It’s unfair to lump them all together and say doctors =good or doctors =bad.
There is a frustration among the public when doctors refuse to listen or lack

1. the communication skills to explain things clearly and concisely in a way non medical people will understand

2 the ability to read a situation, understand it is escalating and have the communication skills to diffuse that to bring a patient onside.
Its ALL about communication.

No I do not mean that.

I mean that I am enormously grateful for the people who have been able to help me and my loved ones because they have a training I do not have - and frankly could not have managed. The idea of working in an environment where I am exposed to virus after virus, fungal infection after fungal infection, bacterial infection after bacterial infection, genital warts, flaccid can’t-get-it-up penises etc etc is something I could not have borne day in and day out. Yes they get paid, but I put it in the “someone has to do it” category of jobs. And so I’m grateful some people do. I would hate it but sometimes I need the help.

Yes, there are problems in the NHS, yes, GPs are probably expected to monitor the gateway to specialists more than is ideal, and yes, they are enormously tine pressured to churn through overloaded appointment lists; but that’s a system problem and not one of their making.

I get that you didn’t like your doctor friend at a personal level, but several of mine have been wonderful. And no, I couldn’t have diagnosed myself on Google . Yes, I’ve had a couple of dire gps but that’s true of any profession.

I wish the bloody useless GP who diagnosed my mum’s heart failure as stress had retired. He might not then have gone on to tell her that her obvious Parkinson’s symptoms were old age and she might not have waited four years for a diagnosis meaning her quality of life is much poorer than if she’d started medication sooner. Sadly the idiot is still practicing medicine.

"as a rule I do think it's a very unrepresentative group in terms of life experience" As a rule?? Christ. How many doctors do you actually know? Presumably the majority of them to make such statements. (I don't work in medicine by the way, just before you tell me about my life experience)

You know nothing about the type of GP I am or the types of places I have worked over the years. I get feedback about being straightforward, sensible and not a pushover. Some patients don’t like that approach.

The least enjoyable jobs have been in the more affluent areas as the sense of entitlement is greater. The pay has been pretty similar wherever I’ve worked.

The worst part of the job is being pushed for time, all the time. Very difficult to give everyone the attention they need in every consultation as a result. Less experienced GPs can really struggle with this in particular.

As for being privileged, that’s not me in terms of background. Working class, local school, university grant with little in the way of top ups from parents. Yes the pay is reasonable but it doesn’t go as far as you might think, especially after divorce, and is low compared to other professions with similar educational attainments.

I know doctors like the ones you describe. They don’t make good colleagues on the whole and I’d not like to be a patient of theirs myself.

Actually, having recently been to the hospital with a suspected broken ankle, they do ask if you could be pregnant, or if you might not be comfortable with some of the examinations they do. Unless of course the doctors at the fracture clinic were just having a great time wasting my time asking pointless questions like they do 🙄

Not how I said sexual history and not pregnancy.
If you read my previous posts I had a very similar experience as a teen and left the appt shut down, embarrassed and did not seek help again.
This led to actual harm in the long term, all because a GP was trying to hit targets getting a certain number of teens on the pill.

If you had a broken leg, you would need an x-ray, and they would definitely NEED to know if you were pregnant or not before the x-ray was taken, @ToBeOrNotToBee . They would need to make sure your abdomen was shielded before the x-ray was taken.

When I was an operating theatre nurse, and was pregnant with ds1, I could not be in theatre when x-rays were being used.

Asking for pregnancy is different to asking sexual history.
You should know this as an medical practitioner.

This is just sillyness.

There are excellent doctors, and shit doctors, just like there are good and bad examples in every profession. Why would medicine be special and immune to that phenomenon?!

With such a highly evidence based education you ought to know that- it’s bloody obvious.

You might be a great doctor, in which case well done and much appreciated , or you might be shit, or simply mediocre.

The sensible position to take is to trust that you are dealing with a doctor who is adequate at their job- if they aren’t very polite or don’t have great communication skills etc this can be overlooked if they are actually doing the job well enough.

It is also sensible to bare in mind that some doctors are shit - they lack knowledge/are abusive/are arrogant/can’t communicate in a meaningful way/don’t care etc etc- and be prepared to have to deal with that.

If you run into a brilliant doctor, that’s a win.

Many of the questions asked by doctors may seem irrelevant but are actually required for correct diagnosis or treatment. As a lay person with no medical qualifications I could not possibly know whether the doctor is asking the right questions but I make the assumption that they wouldn't waste their time asking pointless questions. Of course doctors make mistakes, just like any other people do, and I too have had some bad experiences (just as I have with lawyers, accountants, plumbers, teachers etc) but I still trust them as qualified professionals who are trying their best to do the right thing under enormous pressure in difficult circumstances.

@PussGirl *bear in mind

Exactly. No one is immune from being bad at their job or simply making a mistake. It happens.

I worry especially about those people who insist that they're amazing and they never make a mistake. That inability to reflect doesn't fill me with confidence. Everyone gets things wrong sometimes.

Of course everyone gets things wrong. Very arrogant to think one doesn’t. Even after a long career there are surprises!

Let her kick off. My mum worked in the NHS. They would call the police to deal with people behaving as your DD did. That might shock some manners into her.

i wouldn’t blame the GP practice for striking her off their list or refusing to see her. I can imagine the GP was simply trying to get a full picture on what was going on. If, after the full consultation was over, your DD was unhappy then there are ways and means of asking for a second opinion.

i think your DD needs to learn to manage her emotions. Headstrong or Smiling Minds offer such resources. I don’t think for a moment this reflects on you. Your DD is her own person. But she’s very nearly legally an adult so needs to wise up and learn to treat people respectfully.

Yeah I agree probably just having a great time 🙄. They really just want to know. I heard they have a whiteboard out the back they keep track of all the patients’ sexual exploits on.

I think she was upset because she’d already answered the question and the doctor didn’t believe her….

Yes I think so too. But other posters have implied health professionals ask needlessly, as if to make them squirm.

I have had a few questions I thought were totally irrelevant but later understood why.

She sounds intelligent- good
She is rude - bad

You cannot make your point this way, it’s obnoxious and embarrassing. I would have a stern word.

I have had “yeah they just do that” as a reason for multiple doctors behaviour.

When I was 15 I had heart issues which resulted in having to go for multiple ECGs over several months- same hospital but different doctors each time, who happened to all be male.

Same procedure every time- go into the room, asked to strip to the waist while the doctor leaves the room, doctor comes back in, doctor does the ECG while you lie there topless. Every single appointment for months.

Until I turn up one day and go in the room, doctor says right- ECG and stands up - I presume to leave the room while I take off my top and bra- so I start undoing my buttons…

the doctor says “oh no, I can do it with your top on it’s fine”. Doctor does ECG by just moving clothes a bit, I don’t lie there topless.

When questioned about why I had had to strip in every other appointment the doctor said “oh yeah THEY do that- it’s completely unnecessary, they just don’t care what it’s like for you”- the ‘they’ this doctor was referring to were her male colleagues- she was the first female one I’d had do the procedure.

Hi op,

i think you would be right in pointing that out to her.
she will just about never get a good outcome from this attitude.

Good luck 🌺

I've had some shocking treatment by Dr's, not listening to me. Not just one particular Dr either. Quite a few. So much so, I had to change practices. By shocking treatment, I'm meaning doing absolutely to help me through my perimenopause symptoms. Daily headaches turned out to be high blood pressure related. Not one Dr in 5 years picked up on it and yet I see high readings on my records going back a long time. Digestive problems particularly major changes in bowel movements - fobbed off with laxatives. I'm alive so obviously not cancer.. But could have been. Periods changes - told that they wouldn't investigate unless trying to to get pregnant!! Unbelievable!!

I don't see how you can comment on what treatment your daughter got, if you weren't present OP! I wish I'd been more like your daughter!!

I agree with the original post. The DD behaviour is rude and unacceptable. It's irrelevant whether she has a point or not. You dont behave like that. As someone else has already said. Thank them for their time and see someone else.
Id warn her OP and tell her if she does it again there will be a consequence.
It's basic manners and respect.

As a teacher I am sur she will have seen kids behave like that at school and get away with it. But not classy. Not acceptable way to handle it.