DS’s girlfriend is pregnant.

[Mondayblues6]

DS is 17 years old and his girlfriend is 16. They have been sleeping together a few months. I talked to him about contraception but he told me his girlfriend was not keen keen to go on the pill but they used condoms. Today he he told me that his girlfriend is 6 weeks pregnant. They are both very upset. They have already told his girlfriend’s mum and she has arranged for her to have an abortion. My son’s girlfriend is so upset that she will never get over this and that she is doing the wrong thing. My son is being very supportive and has told his girlfriend that he will support any decision she makes. My son is so sad and responsible that this happened. I have given him a hig and told him I will be there for them both. What else can I do?

Nothing you can do. I had an abortion at 15, I am glad my parents found out early, so it was easier to get it early on. It won’t be easy and I do think about it a lot still, but yes, it was the right decision for me. I did go on the pill after.

There's not a lot else you can do. They're not the first and wont be the last. It sounds like they are both extremely lucky to have kind, supportive parents.

Nothing you can do, just support him and support the decision

It's a shame but aren't we lucky to have relatively easy access to abortion services in this country? My 20 year old son and his 20 year old girlfriend recently found themselves in the same predicament and the pregnancy was terminated pretty much as soon as they knew. I was proud of them both for being sensible and making this decision. Your son and his girlfriend will definitely get over it, they will be fine in the long run and so relieved not to be parents.

Just think, in some states in the US, the poor girl would be forced to carry the pregnancy to term and give birth. It's horrendously shocking.

Sounds like you are a good mum being supportive and he clearly feels comfortable talking to you. All sounds emotionally healthy even though it’s a difficult situation. Unfortunately actions have consequences.

Just be there for them both.

Be happy that he was able to speak to you about it.

To echo an above poster, it is good that in this country there are options. It's abhorrent in my eyes in some countries they don't have this option.

There's not a lot else you can do than you've already done. Just be supportive, of them both, and be there to listen.

As others have said, they're lucky they can make this decision.

Sounds like the girl is being coerced by her mother to have an abortion!

Be the voice of reason and provide information on other alternatives for her.

It's not clear from your post: are you worried that the girl is being pressured into an abortion she doesn't want?

There's not a lot else you can do for your son. It sounds like you're doing a great job already. But you can offer to speak to his girlfriend and be a calm adult to talk through what she really wants and what she could actually cope with.

Does she WANT an abortion? Has she been given space to think about her choice?

Because it sounds like they're in an ideal situation to be parents 🙄

It sounds like the girl is not sure she wants an abortion. She needs some time and space to think about it, not be railroaded into it by her (well meaning) mum. Either way she may regret her decision.

The voice of reason IS to get an abortion at 16 and not ruin both their lives.

Make sure the girl has counselling through the abortion clinic, it should be easy and free to access. They will make sure it’s the right choice for her.

I am so cross that medicine hasn't developed a male pill.

Just keep talking to them.

And as for those saying she might not want it, no one wants an abortion, but sometimes it is necessary.

And those people in the US ranting about pro life don’t give a rat’s arse about the child once it’s born.

Just support them when and if they need it.

I had an abortion at 17 - I dealt with it all myself, my mum still doesn’t know and I’m 42.
You should be proud he has felt able to tell you and just having you to talk to will be such a big thing for him.

This.
What a nightmare.

What has her mum actually arranged, the girl must see a doctor and talk to them independently to make that decision, it's very young to gave a baby and they will both get past this but it must be her informed decision,

You have been supportive. Also the fact that your DS does not try to deny what he has done is something you should acknowledge as a positive.

When I had mine it was two different doctors and a counselling session before they would proceed.

Nothing you can do. In time the girl will probably be glad she had an abortion but at the moment there is drama in the situation. It's an early pregnancy so shouldn't be traumatic. Both kids are too young to be tied down, termination is, imo, the right decision. However abortion is never 'nice', just the lesser evil.

Both sets of parents need to talk to them and instill the need for safe contraception so it doesn't happen again.

I would encourage her to have an abortion but gently and calmly. Obviously can't force her

Thank goodness her mum is sensible and she's getting an abortion. No-one should be keeping a baby at 16, it's far too young and limits young women's lives. And yes, I know people can and do have babies very young - but given we are fortunate enough to have access to contraception and abortion, it should never happen.

Reassure her that she will be fine. It's not fun, no-one wants to go through it, but sometimes it is necessary. It's unlikely their relationship will endure it unfortunately, but your son will learn a lesson (and so will she). Keep talking to both of them.

There is a male pill. It’s called condoms!