What age do they get a bit more polite?

[Flyhigher]

My DD16 is getting a bit better.
I think 13/14 was the crescendo of rudeness.
It's still pretty bad. My boundaries have e been well and truly broken. I think it's 10/20% better.
Some odd flashes of actual niceness.
So how was it for you guys?
Give me ages and %.

And those of you with perfect polite girls please don't comment. I'm too jealous!

I absolutely agree all the best parenting in the world doesn't mean outside influences from school and friendship groups won't rub off

Yes. Lots of that.

Thank you.

Thank you. I did say in the original post if your children are perfect please don't post.
I wanted to know about what I consider to be fairly normal teens.

@PigMyCharcoalFont
Discussing the child's bad day and saying it's unacceptable do not work. They need to decompress.

My dd has an answer for eberything and can be quite rude - l have always drummed good manners into her and don't stand for it but sse still tries her luck. If other people are there, l apologise and say l am so sorry, my daughter seems to have forgotton her manmers which embarrasses her out of it.

Great explanation of teenage 'rudeness'

Love this idea 😁

Scared kids more like or sneaky kids

I feel ya op I have a nearly 13 year old and it’s horrendous at times. I do put in consequences and get a lot of sorts but the impulsiveness really hits this age
i have heard 15 is when it comes full circle

I pull them up on it rarely. Not because they are polite most of the time, they’re not.

I generally give them a deadpan look and walk away, so that is a response, of sorts. I really don’t like the arguments that ensue otherwise. Because, see, the OTHER thing about teens (I have 3), is that they WILL have the last word, or die trying.

The people who do not tolerate rudeness. What do you say to get it to stop? She walks off screaming about hating us and slamming the doors. 14.5 yr old girl. All advice welcome.
We've tried shouting, arguing, laughing, ignoring and talking. We never have a good outcome when she is on one!

My 15 year old isn't rude, sometimes grumpy when tired or homework is involved! But is lazy with regards to chores! But is extremely laid back!

Not so much rudeness as selfish, grumpy, uninterested in others, not grateful, and not loving or communicative towards us. Age 14-16 was the worst. Now at nearly 18 she's loving, says thank you and is mostly less grumpy. I think it's the scary idea of having to be a grown up soon is making her appreciate us more.

My little girl is only 6 and I am dreading her being a teenager. I was honestly so bad I am actually embarrassed as I’m actually a really nice person now!! Between 13-15 I was just a bitch lol when I got to 16 I remember i mellowed a lot and became a happier and nicer person and the relationship with my mum was a lot better

A friend of mine single parented too. Said it was easier she thought as it was just her parenting style that was used.
No conflict in parenting. She also said 13 -16 was the worst.
Tbh- I already see a big change. She's 16.5 and getting less reactive. Less rude.
Saying some lovely adult things.

Thank you. I need that. I think it's true.

15/16 here too- 13/14 there was a lot of ‘you can’t say stuff like that’ and ‘that’s not ok’ and he’d roll his eyes etc (he wasn’t horrendous to be fair!). Ds14 started talking back and stuff more nearly the second he turned 13 and at times you could see he couldn’t even understand why he was doing it (bloody hormones). Now 16yo says to him ‘ah stop’ if he says anything mean which helps so much!

I only have boys and although they had their moments, I think boys tend to be less argumentative and generally more uncommunicative! Me and my sisters were horrors 😂 definitely gets better from 16/17 onwards.

My eldest is only 13 so haven’t had too much yet but I was the oldest sibling of 5 and I was a nightmare teen until about 17 I think, middle girls were all easy for my parents and youngest brother was a nightmare like me until about the same age !
No idea why it was just the two of us with the stinking attitude phase, but if it’s any consolation we’re the two that have given our folks the least stress as adults !

Agree, 16 is when they're getting nicer.

I really think it's bad friendships at school.
She may have a toxic friend. Once they ditch the toxic friends it gets better.
Definitely ignore shouting.
Invite lots of your friends round. In bigger groups they are much better

I think deadpan and walking away is better.
Nothing to be gained by going in.
They are not rational. Hormones.

DD19 was always delightful, funny, engaging etc. Still is to everyone else but since starting uni in September has become quite lazy, selfish and entitled with us when she comes home. Lots of eye rolling, muttering under her breath but loudly, giving opinions when they were neither requested nor required and generally being quite unpleasant at time.
She is an ‘only’ and in my kind moments I think she has had to develop quite a hard shell to cope with leaving home; in my unkind moments I want her to fuck off back to uni and not come back.
Has been challenged over this this Easter; not been pleasant but needed to happen before she moves into a house next year and everyone ends up hating her. Today she said I was ‘amazing’ and hugged me. So today is a win.

I have 4 daughters aged 17 19 10 and 8 now all different personalities. My now 19year old has been the worst for her rudeness and self entitled attitude. Started from around age 13 and unfortunately she is still rude and absolutely self entitled. My others are the total opposite. 19year old has her own home now yet seems to still on occasion be rude to me(mostly when shes showing off in front of her boyfriend) she stayed with me for a month whilst waiting for her new flat to be ready and thought it funny in front of her boyfriend to try and belittle me(she called me a cockblock because i didn't go straight to bed after work and she wanted a naughty video call with her boyfriend) she's not done it since I soon shut the cheek down. Shes improved a little compared to how she was as a younger teen but not much unfortunately

Peer group influence is really important but it’s not the only reason. Part of it is just becoming a separate independent adult which involves rejecting parents and home and challenging the authority and values they have been brought up with. It’s a normal natural process (albeit a complete pita at times).