Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teenage twins spoiling holidays

163 replies

mickey54 · 09/04/2023 15:53

I am currently on holiday abroad with my husband and teenage twin boys. They are constantly fighting each other they won’t listen to a word me and my husband say. They are being disrespectful to us. They have me at my wits end. Feel like staying in the hotel room and crying. They are used to doing their own thing at home with friends x box etc. no idea why when we come on holiday they turn like this they did it on last holiday and I said I would never take them again. They are 13. Just ranting and crying xx

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 12/04/2023 16:15

HamBone · 12/04/2023 15:58

@aSofaNearYou Sone teens go through phases when they’re PITA. I was ungrateful from about 13-15, so was DD and now DS is. It’s nothing new and they grow out of it. DD (17) has.

I agree that it’s pointless spending money on these trips-after last weekend, we’re not taking DS (14) away again for a while.

Perhaps, but I wouldn't be indulging or ignoring it by doing things like acting like it was my fault for not letting them pick the holiday, or spend the whole thing in their room. I would still take them to town for acting that way.

Original poster
mickey54 · 12/04/2023 16:32

@HamBone yes I’ve realised it’s the age and will grow out of it ! Fingers crossed x

OP posts:
Abraxan · 12/04/2023 16:32

shutthewindownow · 09/04/2023 20:02

Why didn't you bring the Xbox with you at lest you would have had some peace

Do people really pack large gaming devices for holidays abroad?!

Dilemma19 · 12/04/2023 16:33

ShippingNews · 09/04/2023 15:55

Have you taken them somewhere they wanted to go ?

Huh? Who cares if it's somewhere they deem 'ok'? They should be grateful!

Singapore4 · 12/04/2023 16:47

Dilemma19 · 12/04/2023 16:33

Huh? Who cares if it's somewhere they deem 'ok'? They should be grateful!

Show quote history

Unreasonable

Catshaveiteasy · 13/04/2023 10:20

We went on activity based holidays when ours were around that age. When younger, they went to kids clubs, as teens they began to opt out but that was ok as they made friends round the pool/ in the bar and we did our own thing. They even went for meals with the teen groups so we could go out one or two evenings alone. I don't really like being confined in one place like that on holiday, but it worked well enough for a few years and I enjoyed some of the activities myself.

Now it's harder in that oldest never wants to do anything much, so is happy with all inclusive, sitting by the pool and never leaving the hotel grounds, but youngest is fine with sightseeing and walks etc. Luckily eldest has chosen not to come with us this summer!

Plan future holidays with them in mind and remember, the years pass quicker than you ever believe possible.

RoyGBivisacolorfulman · 13/04/2023 11:10

aSofaNearYou · 12/04/2023 13:04

I absolutely hate the permissive MN attitude about this behaviour.

When I was a teen (not that long ago) I did not get to pick where we were going or whinge that I wanted to stay in the room on my phone the whole time, and yes I was bloody grateful and respectful about it.

I would be telling them I won't be taking them away again if they don't pack it in.

You may get lucky when you have teens and they will be fine. No sen or mental health issues, no confidence issues.

Thats what its down to luck. Not the percieved great parenting they think it is.

aSofaNearYou · 13/04/2023 11:22

*You may get lucky when you have teens and they will be fine. No sen or mental health issues, no confidence issues.

Thats what its down to luck. Not the percieved great parenting they think it is.*

It's not really about whether they would act that way - it's about whether I would consider it reasonable and indulge it. I see so many people saying it's basically the OPs fault for not letting them decide everything/bringing the PS5 so they aren't expected to spend any time doing anything else, etc etc. That's what I find irritating.

RoyGBivisacolorfulman · 13/04/2023 11:58

aSofaNearYou · 13/04/2023 11:22

*You may get lucky when you have teens and they will be fine. No sen or mental health issues, no confidence issues.

Thats what its down to luck. Not the percieved great parenting they think it is.*

It's not really about whether they would act that way - it's about whether I would consider it reasonable and indulge it. I see so many people saying it's basically the OPs fault for not letting them decide everything/bringing the PS5 so they aren't expected to spend any time doing anything else, etc etc. That's what I find irritating.

Thats fair.

Though I do so many things I always thought I would never do. It's a boiled frog.

teenmumpain · 13/04/2023 15:57

Just been back from a holiday with DH and two DCs aged 14 and 9 so I can totally relate. I kept showing them photos of their younger years when we had so much fun on holidays together.

We still managed some good time together now but the 13 YO almost ruined it many times. I do long for days we can leave them at home. The 9YO is still a perfectly happy child, tagging us along everywhere. We know that won't last long so still have to bear with the older one while we go together these last few holidays together.

teenmumpain · 13/04/2023 15:58

sorry the first line should be two DCs aged 13 and 9. Well almost 14 now.

Original poster
mickey54 · 13/04/2023 19:17

@teenmumpain totally. We have had some good times but god so much harder work than when little. Plus my two keep constantly messing around it’s driving us mad!

OP posts:
IsolatedWilderness · 13/04/2023 22:47

aSofaNearYou · 12/04/2023 13:04

I absolutely hate the permissive MN attitude about this behaviour.

When I was a teen (not that long ago) I did not get to pick where we were going or whinge that I wanted to stay in the room on my phone the whole time, and yes I was bloody grateful and respectful about it.

I would be telling them I won't be taking them away again if they don't pack it in.

Being told my parents wouldn't take me away again would have been the ideal outcome for me as a teen. Anything beats the torture of spending 14 days lying on a beach like a beached whale. Second best was when I was allowed to just stay in the room with my books after 15 while the rest of the family went to lie on the beach all day. I hated those holidays and have very few positive thoughts about them decades later. It's hard when your holiday style is mismatched with everyone else's.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page