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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teenage twins spoiling holidays

163 replies

mickey54 · 09/04/2023 15:53

I am currently on holiday abroad with my husband and teenage twin boys. They are constantly fighting each other they won’t listen to a word me and my husband say. They are being disrespectful to us. They have me at my wits end. Feel like staying in the hotel room and crying. They are used to doing their own thing at home with friends x box etc. no idea why when we come on holiday they turn like this they did it on last holiday and I said I would never take them again. They are 13. Just ranting and crying xx

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Original poster
mickey54 · 10/04/2023 16:01

Yes I like the idea of splitting them and them having time on there own too. Some good ideas 👍

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Original poster
mickey54 · 10/04/2023 16:09

@shivawn tgank you. We’ve had a much better day so far and been in to the town and on a glass bottom boat ride. So hopefully will be ok, still having odd moments x

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slowquickstep · 10/04/2023 16:13

shutthewindownow · 09/04/2023 20:02

Why didn't you bring the Xbox with you at lest you would have had some peace

Maybe they should take it to school or in a few years take it to work ! Do you really think that is the answer ? Being allowed to use the bloody thing for hours on end is the cause of their attitude now

Original poster
mickey54 · 11/04/2023 08:03

@slowquickstep totally agree the x box and phones play a lot in to this and causes no end of problems daily all things our own parents never had to deal with ☹️

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Original poster
mickey54 · 11/04/2023 18:13

Well the update is they have been total idiots on and off, they won’t be coming again after the upcoming cruise. That’s it for them such a shame but cannot waste money with kids being like this. Hopefully these next few years go quick.

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Squiblet · 11/04/2023 18:59

Sorry to hear that mickey54 ... I really hope you can salvage some of the holiday and make it nice for yourself! 💐

Original poster
mickey54 · 11/04/2023 19:01

@Squiblet we are having some good parts and doing nice things but it’s constant the messing about between them it’s so wearing! X

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Ted27 · 11/04/2023 19:09

A few years ago I took my son for a city break with one of my best friends and her twin boys. Similar age 13/14
Normally the boys all got along together

Never again- the twins squabbles and picked fights with each all weekend, sometimes literally poking each other to get a reaction.
I think part of the problem is that they were trying to assert their independence from each other, to get away from being 'The Twins' so they wanted to do different things.

PeonyFairy · 11/04/2023 19:16

Never had a problem at any age. I always booked holidays around what suited DC at whatever age they were. Usually having a family vote on a shortlist. I wouldn't have even suggested a holiday the kids would hate.
Happy children = happy parents.
I don't see what's so wrong with trying to ensure a holiday suits the whole family .
I hope you find the cruise works. We took ours on cruises from about 17 to early 20s.

aholidaynotacarpark · 11/04/2023 21:40

OP your teens are just being teens unfortunately, not that it makes it any easier, they are a bloody nightmare! It's such a frustrating age as you want them to try give them experiences they should be enjoying AND appreciating, but all they do is moan and fight. It's exhausting.
It threaten mine regularly never to take them away again, but we do,because we do like going on holiday.

I don't understand the horror that people have expressed on here about letting the DCs make some of the decisions about where to go / what type of holiday they go on. Surely you want to have the best chance of everyone having a good time, which is achieved by everyone having input.
We accept as the parents that we are not going to be able to go on a holiday that would be the kind we would chose if we didn't have kids. At the same time, my DCs will have to put up with the odd day out to a castle etc that they don't want to do but we do.
Basically at the moment DH and I plan our holidays around activities that we know they DCs will (should?) enjoy. So a pool, fun activities and other kids to hang around. Even then, we have to battle with them wanting ti spend all their time in the room / by the tent on their phones / Switch etc. But that's just how it is right now.

I'm hoping they remember these experiences fondly when they are older!

BarbieCar · 11/04/2023 23:08

We had (looking back) some lovely holidays as a teen but I just hated being with my family! Teenagers are just ungrateful and I'm surprised my parents kept taking us.

I can totally see this in my future. Eldest DC is turning 13 this year.....unfortunately no grandparents to park him with.

HamBone · 11/04/2023 23:58

I feel your pain, OP. We went away for the Easter weekend to a cabin in the woods that DS (14) used to like. Lots of hiking and a nice town nearby. He was a misery the whole time, said he didn’t want to be there and we’d made him come along. Completely different attitude to a year ago. 😂 We’re not going to bother with that destination again. DD ( nearly 18) was fine-they do improve. 🤣

dig135 · 12/04/2023 07:20

You're right, we're always competing to provide better entertainment than their phones or Xbox. It can be exhausting. My parents left us to entertain ourselves and make our own fun (or be bored).

The other thing I'd say is that we all have the same struggles on holiday, despite everyone else's family holidays looking more harmonious. Teenagers can be good company or frankly foul on occasions.

It's also difficult to predict what they'll enjoy. We've had some lovely holidays, including a safari in South Africa and trips to New York and LA. Apparently their favourite holiday was a very bog-standard villa in Portugal and a cruise that cost a fraction of the other holidays.

Now they're a bit older, meeting other people their own age seems to be a key factor and stops them being so obnoxious to each other.

Original poster
mickey54 · 12/04/2023 07:55

@Ted27 hi yeS this is the EXACT problem picking and messing with each other non stop. Must be a twin thing can’t even walk down the road with them virtually being on each others shoulders. At home they are very different !!

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mickey54 · 12/04/2023 07:57

@dig135 exactly our parents didn’t have to constantly police phones and x boxes it’s wearing and they say they are bored without them. I always try to do things they enjoy on holiday I think it just sounds like their age and having to ride out these years!

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mickey54 · 12/04/2023 07:59

@HamBone your right a years difference seems to be a lot in their attitude we have always had nice holidays and they NEVER moaned but jeez the last 2 we have taken them on has frankly been so hard work would be easier at home!

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Original poster
mickey54 · 12/04/2023 08:00

@BarbieCar def bound to be part of the problem would rather be with friends!!!

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30ishiwish · 12/04/2023 08:01

My teenagers did this last year. For this reason, we are not going away this year. I’d rather stay at home.

saltwater1985 · 12/04/2023 08:12

Can you let them go and explore a bit by themselves? What do they want to do?

Let them sit for half the day gaming on the condition they come out this evening (or whatever).

Leave them in the room(s) and go and have a nice meal with DH. They can get McDonald's on their app 😎

nine9nein · 12/04/2023 08:14

Entitled spoilt brats.

My teens that is. Ruined so many days out and holidays that we stopped taking them and left them at home and went away ourselves. But not before telling them why they were not getting anymore nice holidays!

Original poster
mickey54 · 12/04/2023 09:50

@saltwater1985 i suggested they could stay in room this evening and play on phone whilst me and hubby go to bar but surprisingly both said they wanted to come!!! Can’t win!

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mickey54 · 12/04/2023 09:51

@nine9nein feeling a little this way too although they are being ok when it suits them 😬

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mickey54 · 12/04/2023 09:51

@30ishiwish I don’t seem alone then 🙏

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aSofaNearYou · 12/04/2023 13:04

I absolutely hate the permissive MN attitude about this behaviour.

When I was a teen (not that long ago) I did not get to pick where we were going or whinge that I wanted to stay in the room on my phone the whole time, and yes I was bloody grateful and respectful about it.

I would be telling them I won't be taking them away again if they don't pack it in.

HamBone · 12/04/2023 15:58

@aSofaNearYou Sone teens go through phases when they’re PITA. I was ungrateful from about 13-15, so was DD and now DS is. It’s nothing new and they grow out of it. DD (17) has.

I agree that it’s pointless spending money on these trips-after last weekend, we’re not taking DS (14) away again for a while.

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