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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teenage twins spoiling holidays

163 replies

mickey54 · 09/04/2023 15:53

I am currently on holiday abroad with my husband and teenage twin boys. They are constantly fighting each other they won’t listen to a word me and my husband say. They are being disrespectful to us. They have me at my wits end. Feel like staying in the hotel room and crying. They are used to doing their own thing at home with friends x box etc. no idea why when we come on holiday they turn like this they did it on last holiday and I said I would never take them again. They are 13. Just ranting and crying xx

OP posts:
neilyoungismyhero · 09/04/2023 18:35

We decided where to take our children we didn't ask for their opinion. We chose places that were nice and suitable and off we went.
I think the bloody world's gone mad.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 09/04/2023 18:41

neilyoungismyhero · 09/04/2023 18:35

We decided where to take our children we didn't ask for their opinion. We chose places that were nice and suitable and off we went.
I think the bloody world's gone mad.

That approach worked well for us when our dc were younger.

how old are yours @neilyoungismyhero ?

Squiblet · 09/04/2023 18:42

I'm with you @Muchtoomuchtodo . It's a family holiday, why not consult the family? You don't have to say yes to everything the kids ask for, but at least they'll feel listened-to. And most 13yos can understand reasonable arguments like "we can't afford that". Having that conversation and making some concessions is a small price to pay for a happy holiday. I've got ours coming up with a 13yo, can only hope it goes so smoothly... 🤞

candlewicket · 09/04/2023 18:42

All sounds normal OP @mickey54
Grit your teeth and bare it this time- and then don't book anymore with them until they are over this stage

Timeturnerplease · 09/04/2023 19:07

Muchtoomuchtodo · 09/04/2023 18:41

That approach worked well for us when our dc were younger.

how old are yours @neilyoungismyhero ?

Show quote history

With respect, my children are young but we plan to make holiday decisions while we’re paying. My siblings and I were those entitled, demanding teens who had far too many luxury holidays and lots of input into where we went/what we did. I look back at our behaviour now and cringe. As a result, my two will not be getting any choice.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 09/04/2023 19:14

@Timeturnerplease please let us know in a few years time how that’s going! I really hope it works out for you.

Out dc have not have lots of luxury holidays, nor are they entitled or demanding. Perhaps that because we treat them like the young adults that they are. We are their parents but we respect them and their opinions and they respect us back. It might not be everyone’s way of doing it but it’s working well for us.

slowquickstep · 09/04/2023 19:16

You said yourself they do as they please at home, why ? You can't allow them to suit themselves then once on holiday expect them to do as you say. You need to parent. Chuck the xbox out and start laying down the law, after all it is your job.

Oblomov23 · 09/04/2023 19:17

Set them down and talk to them. Tell them this is totally unacceptable and that they are ruining the whole holiday and that you are not prepared to put up with this.

Original poster
mickey54 · 09/04/2023 19:59

Thanks. 👍🙏

OP posts:
Original poster
mickey54 · 09/04/2023 20:00

No we’ve had world war three it’s day one and partly due to tiredness so only been out for lunch and look round!

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Original poster
mickey54 · 09/04/2023 20:01

Brilliant 🤩 my kids need this 🙏

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Original poster
mickey54 · 09/04/2023 20:02

Yes I know what you mean although I did book this hotel for 2 adjoining rooms but that’s caused more messing around than being in our room ☹️

OP posts:
shutthewindownow · 09/04/2023 20:02

Why didn't you bring the Xbox with you at lest you would have had some peace

Original poster
mickey54 · 09/04/2023 20:03

Oh god yes I definitely wouldn’t have seen or heard them !

OP posts:
Original poster
mickey54 · 09/04/2023 20:03

I think so x

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Original poster
mickey54 · 09/04/2023 20:04

Good idea👍

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Original poster
mickey54 · 09/04/2023 20:05

Yes this is what I’ve done but tried to be a bit accommodating for them as well.

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Original poster
mickey54 · 09/04/2023 20:06

Yes I think holidays are numbered for them !

OP posts:
Magnoliasky · 09/04/2023 20:08

Yes DH takes one twin off one day, you take the other off, then swap over next day. Quality 1:1 time. Ask them what they would like to do

Original poster
mickey54 · 09/04/2023 20:08

I have decided to revisit the ground rules it’s hard going with two of them though.

OP posts:
B0g · 09/04/2023 20:10

Who are you replying to, OP? You can tag usernames, or quote.

Luckydip1 · 09/04/2023 20:22

At what age is it acceptable to stop taking your teens on family hols?

Teachingteacher · 09/04/2023 20:44

I have young DC so can’t relate.

However, my parents stopped taking us on holidays during the entirety of our secondary school years. The excuse was that they couldn’t afford it in addition to school fees, but they later told me it was because me and my sister were a nightmare to travel with. We did a trip to LA Disney when I was 13 and my sister was 9, and apparently it was so awful that they decided to wait until we were mature enough to travel again. Once I turned 18 we did a massive Europe trip and it was fantastic.

I think they made the right decision. Me and my sister were far too entitled and self-centred to appreciate nice holidays. BTW, we now both live abroad and have travelled extensively in our adult lives, so we definitely didn’t miss out on anything!

SilverGlitterBaubles · 09/04/2023 20:50

Leave them in the hotel, order them some food and go out for the evening with your DH Wink

Bobbybobbins · 09/04/2023 21:01

I think 13 can be 'peak teen' for these kind of situations as they are not quite old enough to be more independent but too old for having fun with their parents. I remember a couple of days when I was not great on holiday at this age. Good luck OP!