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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teenage twins spoiling holidays

163 replies

mickey54 · 09/04/2023 15:53

I am currently on holiday abroad with my husband and teenage twin boys. They are constantly fighting each other they won’t listen to a word me and my husband say. They are being disrespectful to us. They have me at my wits end. Feel like staying in the hotel room and crying. They are used to doing their own thing at home with friends x box etc. no idea why when we come on holiday they turn like this they did it on last holiday and I said I would never take them again. They are 13. Just ranting and crying xx

OP posts:
Original poster
mickey54 · 10/04/2023 07:02

@Bobbybobbins yes totally agree it’s the age. We’ve had lots of lovely holidays it’s hard to take when they are like this. Will start afresh today see how we get on 👌

OP posts:
Original poster
mickey54 · 10/04/2023 07:03

@B0g thanks I didn’t realise could do that !!!

OP posts:
Original poster
mickey54 · 10/04/2023 07:05

@SilverGlitterBaubles ee went to the hotel bar and left them in room thought bugger it. One actually got ready and came to sit with us it was nice, the other fell asleep!

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 10/04/2023 07:05

I have a child who doesn’t want to go away on holiday, don’t know why. He always seemed to be enjoying himself on past holidays.

Original poster
mickey54 · 10/04/2023 07:07

Yes I wonder the same. 13 seems so young though to be wondering when not to take them 😞 but if they are like this there is no option. Damn teenage years !

OP posts:
TrianglePlayer · 10/04/2023 07:18

Muchtoomuchtodo · 09/04/2023 18:30

@GettingThereCharleyBear we found a hotel that we all liked that also had a gym - they took themselves off each day whenever they wanted to. What’s the big deal? We did do trips outside of the hotel but it was primarily a relaxing week for me and DH making it even more important that the dc weren’t bored if it was going to be a good week.

@SpecialMangeTout they didn’t actually ask for a pool but there were several which they enjoyed. They prefer the sea though which is why they asked to be near a beach - not a problem and not a big ask. They’re teens not toddlers so if they wanted to go to the beach or on the slides (which were an added bonus we didn’t look for a hotel with water slide) they are quite capable of doing that and usually bringing me an ice cream on their way back!

I’m astounded at the outrage of actually going to the effort of somewhere that the kids will enjoy. They’re teens so the days of family holidays are numbered and I want to enjoy our time together. If I want a miserable holiday I’ll know not to ask them in the future!

I think you’re getting a hard time as it sounded like you let your teens dictate everything when actually all you did was make sure you booked a holiday you would ALL enjoy. My teens also want a gym on holiday and so do DH and I. All inclusive works for all of us as we all like to eat a lot and having pools and activities the kids can wander off and do together or make friends at means DH and I can do what we like! Win win situation.

Lemme · 10/04/2023 07:24

OP glad you had a nice evening!

Muchtoomuchtodo - I also cannot understand the flak you are getting here. We have only a few family holidays left with our teens and we also try to satisfy everyone’s needs. Not for all holidays - there are things that I want to do and they have to come and suffer it (camping!) but I cannot understand how being given some weight in a family holiday decision is making them ‘entitled’. Sounds like good parenting to me.

PotKettel · 10/04/2023 07:36

I remember being 15 and my parents took me to a mountain village in the Alps. I was so embarrassed to be seen with them at all, and I was pretty shitty. We did have some nice hikes though! To this day I love the summer Alps.

It is a tough few years for kids and parents alike. Just rise above, roll your eyes and if they argue mildly excuse yourself to a different room.

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 10/04/2023 07:46

I just don't understand why the majority of responses seem to think that children's wishes are irrelevant and they should be grateful to be dragged along to something that holds no interest for them. Surely as a family you look to do something that everyone can enjoy? If the parents enjoy city breaks they'll be able to have many years of them after the DC have left home - in the meantime if you find something the DC enjoy them everyone has a better time.

Singapore4 · 10/04/2023 07:47

mickey54 · 09/04/2023 16:17

We’ve come on a city break. Which I booked a pool in hotel although not quite warm enough today. I try to do things they will enjoy.

City breaks to me are more for adults. Have your DC found friends their own age to play with? The beach is lovely again but I think kids quickly get board. Boat trips are more an adult thing to do too unless it's like a pirate ship theme.

I think these activities sound fab but not really aimed at DC.

I always book places with a waterpark, kids/teens hang out club and look for a hotel where its really child friendly.

Singapore4 · 10/04/2023 07:49

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 10/04/2023 07:46

I just don't understand why the majority of responses seem to think that children's wishes are irrelevant and they should be grateful to be dragged along to something that holds no interest for them. Surely as a family you look to do something that everyone can enjoy? If the parents enjoy city breaks they'll be able to have many years of them after the DC have left home - in the meantime if you find something the DC enjoy them everyone has a better time.

That's what I thought. Look at Holiday village hotels on TUI OP.

Catshaveiteasy · 10/04/2023 07:54

Sounds horrible. I do think you need to start asking what they would like though. A city break doesn't sound like much fun for teens. We always took into account our teens' preferences which meant we went / go on holidays that are usually not really what I'd choose for myself. Though having kids of different ages makes it easier - they don't gang up against us. Must be hard with twins.

Original poster
mickey54 · 10/04/2023 07:55

Yes I think it’s because we have always done city breaks and had great times but I think now that’s obviously not for them. We have a much more family friendly cruise booked in the summer which I’m sure they will be fine (she says 🫢

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Original poster
mickey54 · 10/04/2023 07:58

@Catshaveiteasy yes this is part of the problem twins is same age / gender. Realising maybe that these breaks aren’t for them anymore, we have done a lot of them over the years when they have been younger but obv times have changed with teens. Hoping for a better day today

OP posts:
AreYouShittingMe · 10/04/2023 08:01

@Muchtoomuchtodo I'm with you on this. It's probably our last family holiday with our teens this year. They have had input into certain things, but aren't dictating or demanding. It's a family holiday, and I want us to spend time together, and it be enjoyable (for all of us).

Singapore4 · 10/04/2023 08:06

mickey54 · 10/04/2023 07:55

Yes I think it’s because we have always done city breaks and had great times but I think now that’s obviously not for them. We have a much more family friendly cruise booked in the summer which I’m sure they will be fine (she says 🫢

Sorry OP I'm sure you are doing your best and spending a lot of me too. If your kids are fighting on hol they are board.

Type in Stella Palace on YouTube the hotel has loads to do for DC. Even I would be skeptical of a cruise and I'm an adult I mean this kindly.

sashh · 10/04/2023 08:08

mickey54 · 10/04/2023 07:55

Yes I think it’s because we have always done city breaks and had great times but I think now that’s obviously not for them. We have a much more family friendly cruise booked in the summer which I’m sure they will be fine (she says 🫢

I was about to suggest a cruise.

It's something I would hate but I'm strangely fascinated with YouTube cruise vids.

I'd also consider sending them on a holiday without you, either together or solo.

Early teens is a difficult age, they want independence but they are not old enough to just go off on their own.

How many days do you have left?

Can you do a day when one of you picks the activity, then another person picks? Bad behaviour means that person loses their chosen activity.

dig135 · 10/04/2023 08:11

I took my teenagers on a cruise last summer and apparently it was the best holiday ever (which slightly irked me as we've had some really nice holidays).

They found other kids on the boat and had a great time. The only issue was that they stayed up late and took a lot of dragging out on the excursions I'd booked so maybe have some sea days at a few stops.

dig135 · 10/04/2023 08:14

Mine also like city breaks but only if there's a focus on eating your way round. Amsterdam was one of the more enjoyable city breaks as there were a lot of teen-friendly activities.

deplorabelle · 10/04/2023 08:15

Our teens love city breaks and help a lot with choosing where to go, what to eat, how to get there etc. When they were younger we factored in a lot of pool and park time and still prefer to have a pool but it's becoming more important to be somewhere they can go out shopping on their own and have a bit of independence from us.

DarkNecessities · 10/04/2023 08:16

I have twins OP and have done city breaks with them.

It’s important that they have time alone, together as siblings and with you as a family. DH and I get up earlier so we would just get on with our days, possibly head off out for a walk/breakfast/coffee and let them have a lie in or time alone and go back and meet up with them later.

We would stop off mid afternoon for a beer or something and they would have a coke and then they would go off together whilst we had another.

Gremlins101 · 10/04/2023 08:21

We got a caravan in Cornwall and were bloody happy with it!

I was essentially an only child (my sister is 15 years older and didnt come) so my parents brought my friend, which was a nice thing to do.

user1492757084 · 10/04/2023 08:32

At their age you can't leave them home.
Unless it's under the careful eye of Grandma with tasks to do at her house - like trimming the hedge.
I agree with revisiting the rules and excusing yourselves to enjoy some activities without children. You deserve the break.

Charge each twin with cooking one meal, choosing one reastaurant and planning out one day of the holidays for you all.

Once home limit hours of x box, eat together as a family every day and operate like you all have to communicate a bit more so that on holidays it is not a rude shock.

Consider bringing a friend of theirs every now and again to a short break - to train the boys that they can be considerate. (They wouldn't dare bicker in front of their friend.)

Only about four more years of holidaying with them!

Wanttobefree2 · 10/04/2023 08:41

RichardsGear · 09/04/2023 16:22

Quite.

A couple of these responses! 🙄

Show quote history

Yes they should be grateful but you can’t force them to be

IsolatedWilderness · 10/04/2023 08:43

Do they actually like what you're doing while away? My mother used to complain I was grumpy as a teen on holidays. I experienced it like the annual torture. Same place, same beach, lying on it all week. Not allowed to stay home. I actually wasn't grateful. It was two weeks to be endured. I bought lots of books.