Teenage twins spoiling holidays

[mickey54]

I am currently on holiday abroad with my husband and teenage twin boys. They are constantly fighting each other they won’t listen to a word me and my husband say. They are being disrespectful to us. They have me at my wits end. Feel like staying in the hotel room and crying. They are used to doing their own thing at home with friends x box etc. no idea why when we come on holiday they turn like this they did it on last holiday and I said I would never take them again. They are 13. Just ranting and crying xx

@Muchtoomuchtodo No idea why you're getting so much criticism, of course you should book a holiday that everyone will enjoy. You asked them what they would like and I don't think that any of your kids requests were unreasonable. WiFi is so basic everywhere you go that it doesn't even need to be said and of course teenagers shouldn't be sharing a room with their parents, that would make for a pretty miserable holiday. Surely most parents will want their privacy too? It sounds like a lovely holiday that everyone can enjoy, it's not like they dragged you off to some theme park or whatever that only they would like.

I took DS on holiday by myself when he was 13. We arrived at the hotel at 10.30am and I was looking for flights home at 6.30pm.
It got better the next day and we did manage the full week. He's so mardy on holiday.

I hope the holiday improves for you OP, maybe try letting them choose what to do one of the days. I remember being a bored brat on family holidays when I was a teenager. I'm sure you'll have a fab time on the cruise, they're very suited to families and I'm sure there'll be some clubs your kids can join to meet other people their own age!

No idea what your budget is, but next time can you do something like skiing, Mark Warner etc where they are off most of the time doing activities with people their own age?

Firstly I dont think they sound "spoiled " just by being consulted about holidays! Many children (and some adults!) struggle with change to routines ,not seeing friends, their tech stuff at home and so on.City breaks are hard work ,looking at shops ,museums ,places of interest arent all that interesting to young teenagers.A hotel with a pool,some activities for youngsters maybe.Also can you and DH take them out separately? They will have some time away from each other and be fresh when they meet up. I went away with my parents to Italy a couple of times.They went on driving holidays around the UK and I stayed with my Nan (which I loved!) Not over keen on long drives then or now!

When a teen I meant!

We’d taken our two to Paris during the October half term back in 2021. We’d been before in 2018 and the kids loved it. Begged us to go back.
Second time around I think I spent the whole time just telling them to “pack it in” or stop whinging. Baring in mind my two were 17 and 11. My 17 year old dd had the audacity to say one morning that it was not really acceptable to get them up for 10 during half term. I went apeshit 😂😂
Told her in no ungrateful terms how much they wanted to come back, how expensive the holiday had been, how ungrateful they were and they could be sat in their rooms at home rather than away on a break they wanted. Then dh and I left them and went out alone. And it was lovely 😂
We met up after a few hours where both were very sheepish and said sorry.
We went to Italy last year and I decided if they wanted to join us on the beach they could. We stayed at a Eurocamp on the beach so only three minutes away from the caravan. Both would come and go as they pleased. They might come down to the beach for a few hours or spend it back at the caravan playing on their switches together. It was extraordinarily hot so there was days it was best for them to stay in the cool anyway while hubby and I had the sun loungers on the beach. We read, listened to podcasts and I came back so relaxed. Evenings were obviously meals out or self catering and it worked for us with days out all together mixed in. DD is at uni now so I will give her the option of coming and there will always be a place for her but I don’t think I will do another city break with them. DH and I enjoy doing them ourselves and I think it will stay that way.
I hope you have a better few days OP and it was just first day tiredness and stress that was making them act out.
Where have you gone to out of interest?

Mine are 15 and 17 and my dh and I honestly can't wait to holiday on our own or with friends again! I look back to holidays when they were younger with nostalgia.

Our eldest once ruined family holiday with his behaviour when he was 13 so was told that the following year he would not be coming with us to which he responded 'ha ha you wouldn't do that'. The year after we went to Barbados for two weeks and left him with Grandma we never had a problem after this and his two younger siblings took this as a warning and we always had fab holidays after this.

Feeling for you. Send them to PGL maybe next year and you and OH enjoy the peace.

Wish my parents had done that. Every year.

I'm not sorry for being ungrateful for two weeks on the same beach as every year, just lying in the sun. Boring. Things got better when I was 16 and allowed to stay in the cabin with my books.

We have a family mantra
Only boring people get bored.

I've heard that one but what can you do when all you're allowed to do is lie on the beach for two weeks and you're more of an explorer?

Exactly what I was thinking. Unbelievable.

When my little one is old enough to give a bit of input into the holiday, it'll be more along the lines of 'is there anywhere you fancy going?' and that'll be taken into consideration. But the ultimate decision will be mine.

It was an awesome day when the usual two weeks of sun baking was scheduled, I was 17 and living with my partner, and my parents tried to make us come with them. NO. And to every argument about coming: NO.

I wish more parents would parent like this, genuine consequences for behaviour.

At 13 they don't need someone there own age to play with or hangout with - its only a week.

City breaks are fine for teenagers and it does them good to not have everything revolve around them sometimes.

We used to take turns picking stuff to do - there are family friendly things in most cities. And sometimes they had to put up with a parent choice day and shock horror even a museum! (Eldest loves museums now!)

Spliting up sounds like a good plan, all kids need 1 on 1 time and I think this could be even more special as twins. Get them involved in planning their days.

The grass is always greener. They probably feel like they are missing out if their mates are doing stuff at home.

I think they should be able to enjoy something about a city break. Not sure if you're in uk. I have DD15 and DS13 and they generally enjoy little things like going to a cafe, shopping etc

You should separate them and take one each. Also have a word about them being left home for the cruise if they can't be civil.

I think it's sad so many people are saying they can't wait until they don't need to take kids away with them (OP isn't actually saying this).

I have taken my daughter and children away every year since they were very young. It was the highlight of our year and we went to lovely Greek or Spanish destinations. They are now 13 and 16. Last year they were awful and the holiday was ruined. Never again.

Devil makes work for idle hands, for them this is arguing and fighting.

ds would have been bored stiff on this type of holiday as a teen so we stopped doing them. To old to "play"/go to clubs and to young to enjoy just taking the day slow and relaxing, or have the independence to go exploring too far themselves - he would be itching to be doing something.

I think they should be bloody grateful they are getting a holiday.

I wouldn't be grateful for a holiday that wasn't my cup of tea and I was bored stiff on - I would hate a pool/beach holiday for example so just wouldn't go even if it was free, why should teens be any different.

I can remember some family holidays as a teenager that didn't really have anything to excite me.

Back in the 90s, so the first day would be taken up with a visit to the tourist information to see what we wanted to do. Often the answer would be not much from teenage me. They'd pick up loads of leaflets and plan lots of trips, but none of them really tied in with any of my interests.

As an adult I'm fairly happy with wandering round National Trust houses, and Gardens and museums. It wasn't what I wanted to spend my time doing at 13-16 though and just with my parents for company.

I think they probably were trying there best. We did go away each year to different places. They just didn't realise what they thought were new and exciting experiences, was just being dragged round more dusty houses and past lots of plants.

It's can be a tricky age to plan holiday activities for.

@riseandshine321 yes I agree. We have booked to go on our own with friends as it’s somewhere I would not take the kids!!!

@linelgreen love this! I’m not sure I could do it but good on you !

@Whatafliberty i feel the same we’ve had lovely hols over the years but this age is awful a lot of the time. Wish they were young again!

@converseandjeans no I really want to take the boys and enjoy it but I think the days are numbered., we are overseass and had a much nicer day today but we have a few days left so we will see 😀