Son brainwashed by Andrew Tate

[NoGoodUsernamesLeftForMe]

Until yesterday’s news about the arrest of Tate I had no idea that my son has been following this ‘influencer’. He wasn’t even on my radar. It turns out he is almost a hero figure to my 17 year old. Reading about what this man says about (and seemingly does to) women is a terrible eye opener. My boy has lapped all this up, including the conspiracy bullshit about supra-governmental forces or ‘the government’ being out to get Tate who is being framed but has done nothing wrong. It seems clear from just a glancing read in the mainstream media that the man made his fortune by producing pornography, that he rails against everything we stand for as a family. He is a misogynist and his arrest for trafficking and rape suggests much worse. He is all about making money and brags about not paying taxes. He is an angry white man who rails against the world in shouty videos.
I do not know how to handle this. My teenage son is not easy to deal with at times. Withdrawn, taciturn, the usual teenage stuff. I was initially delighted that at least he talked about it to us yesterday and we had a calm discussion. But I have since found out who this guy is and got more of a sense of the indoctrination that has taken place.
I wonder if other parents are in a similar situation? How should I handle this? I fear that the more I say against this guy the more appealing he will be to a teenager. It’s all about being different to your parents, and what this toxic man stands for could be no more different.
I don’t think removing his phone is the answer, it would only antagonise him. I need him to stay on side and to see what this icon really is like.
Any suggestions on how to handle this would be really appreciated. I am beside myself with worry about what damage this has already done to my son and how to stop this man skewing my son’s world view. As he has millions of followers it’s likely other parents here have a similar experience.
Thank you! 😢

I see on the BBC app today that two of the girls who are part of the police investigation had tattoos proclaiming they were “his”. So one girl had “property of Tate” on tattooed on her, and the other had “Tate girl”.
How depressing 🙁

Sometimes adults make sill choices

*Silly

Not sill

He’s really not entertaining. There are many other words that could be used to describe him.

Hi all,

I Googled my pain and found this interesting post. I am new to this group, very obvious from the purposeful user name. I have read through the 150+ posts but only few address the pain the parents are going through.

I will not be responding to irrelevant posts as I am not here for a healthy free speech debate or race discussions but for answers from the mums and those who work on this topic as part of their job (e.g. teachers).

@NoGoodUsernamesLeftForMe @OldWivesTale @MissyB1 @Snowmanzi - Would you please either share in here or PM me the process you have gone through with your DS over past couple of weeks to address this issue.

I can also PM you the website and email domain that you need to block through your router and your DS' mail settings to get him into listening mode.

@Snowmanzi - I have very similar scenario (Matrix, etc.) as yours which make me think the AT gang is using very standardised talk track and materials to manipulate the DSs. Thanks for sharing.

@Throughabushbackwards - Are you able to share the materials that you have used at your school PSHEE sessions please?

@TheFormidableMrsC Are you able to share the safeguarding course materials about toxic masculinity please?

I completely understand if these cannot be shared due to copy rights or other reasons. I am asking out of desperation.

I’m sorry to hear you’ve experienced that @ATHater - it might be best to start a new thread to get responses.

I am very concerned, my son is also 17 and had started talking about AT, I didn't know much, but questioned some things my son said. My hubby has spoken to him, but, today I have discovered that he has signed up to the Real World, and is now paying a £40 subscription per month, as he is setting up a business with his friends and wants advice. I just don't know how to tackle this. I always said, from when my kids were little, it's the internet that scares me....

Please review some of the valuable advice from @DomPom47 @Superfrog3 @pennysays @BethDuttonsTwin @Draconis @lacey79 . With 'Matrix' in play much of what we say directly may not get through. These posts have some great suggestions to overcome that effect.

If you or your other half's employer provide a benefit known as 'Employee Assistance Programme' please reach out to them for counselling help on how to approach this issue and to understand how the teenager's mind work.

Separately, reach out to NSPCC and raise your concern as 'radicalisation'. They will assign the case and someone will call you back within 5 working days. I am waiting for the call since yesterday.

Hope that helps.

Thought this was of interest to fellow Mothers. Poor victims of Andrew Tate. They are relying on donations from the public to fund the case. Link in article
https://www.theguardian.com/news/2023/apr/12/three-alleged-assault-victims-launch-uk-civil-claim-against-andrew-tate