Son brainwashed by Andrew Tate

[NoGoodUsernamesLeftForMe]

Until yesterday’s news about the arrest of Tate I had no idea that my son has been following this ‘influencer’. He wasn’t even on my radar. It turns out he is almost a hero figure to my 17 year old. Reading about what this man says about (and seemingly does to) women is a terrible eye opener. My boy has lapped all this up, including the conspiracy bullshit about supra-governmental forces or ‘the government’ being out to get Tate who is being framed but has done nothing wrong. It seems clear from just a glancing read in the mainstream media that the man made his fortune by producing pornography, that he rails against everything we stand for as a family. He is a misogynist and his arrest for trafficking and rape suggests much worse. He is all about making money and brags about not paying taxes. He is an angry white man who rails against the world in shouty videos.
I do not know how to handle this. My teenage son is not easy to deal with at times. Withdrawn, taciturn, the usual teenage stuff. I was initially delighted that at least he talked about it to us yesterday and we had a calm discussion. But I have since found out who this guy is and got more of a sense of the indoctrination that has taken place.
I wonder if other parents are in a similar situation? How should I handle this? I fear that the more I say against this guy the more appealing he will be to a teenager. It’s all about being different to your parents, and what this toxic man stands for could be no more different.
I don’t think removing his phone is the answer, it would only antagonise him. I need him to stay on side and to see what this icon really is like.
Any suggestions on how to handle this would be really appreciated. I am beside myself with worry about what damage this has already done to my son and how to stop this man skewing my son’s world view. As he has millions of followers it’s likely other parents here have a similar experience.
Thank you! 😢

Tate rapes and traffics women
Rowling funds safe houses for abused women from her own, earned income.

This is a forum predominantly for women.
How can I help you understand why we might disapprove of Tate and approve of Rowling if you are unable to grasp it unaided?

Except AT isn’t a incel and he’s not been peddling incel ideology at all.

Having female friends and girlfriends isn't a way of preventing your son seeing Tate as a role model. There are too many teens in abusive relationships and teens who are violent.

It is hard trying to keep an eye on teens while respecting their privacy and right to hold a different opinion to you.

Perhaps sign up to this with your son or suggest the school signs up.

As I said has Tate been convicted?

Oh I can completely understand it. As I said it's no different than a predominantly white forum being skeptical about the black lives matter organisation. Or indeed a trans rights forum users having issues with Mumsnet. Where it becomes an issue is when people try to censor and deplatform to stop processing debate then they become echo chambers and force people elsewhere like the numpty (AT) this thread is about.

For example you try having a debate about mens rights here using the same robust language that often goes with women's rights you will soon find yourself censored in a way women's rights don't because this is feminism (a specific brand though) home turf.

@Onnabugeisha scroll down on the link to sexual harassment and abuse, don’t miss the misogyny too.

@MissyB1 I specifically referred to my experience. Your experience is different, neither is wrong, but equally worrisome.

Thanks. I had also linked to Prevent earlier in the thread and agree that is good advice. I was more objecting to characterising Tate as an incel who is peddling incel ideology, when he’s a misogynist glorifying domestic violence and abuse of girls and women. So it’s a different ideology that needs to be de radicalised.

AT isn’t an incel. Wrong word.

most teen boys have heard of AT.

it has nothing to do with class etc. At is very clever and has drawn in teen boys. I asked my two late teens about him. They didn’t really say anything distasteful about him so I reminded them what he has been arrested for. He is also a vile misogynistic man but we seem to be seeing more of these and I despair for teen girls.

@Itsbiasedhere

He has said enough stupid stuff to over balance out the sensible stuff he had said.

Can you name 2/3 examples of sensible stuff he has said?

This isn't a gotcha, I've just never heard him say anything that is sensible advice / a sensible approach.

For those that don’t believe that AT is followed by incels, helpful to understand another strand of attraction to AT for a group of males; it’s not all about bank balances and fast cars and parents need to be fully aware of this

www.votesforschools.com/teacher-toolkit/classroom-conversations/misogyny/

Op the good thing that will come out of his arrest, even if he ends up not being charged is that it will expose him.

He isn’t anywhere near as rich as he claimed. Many men will stick by him. But many will realise that he isn’t who he says he is.

But ask your son, when Andrew Tate talked about how beating a woman in the face until her face was a bloody pulp is ok and something to be admired? Beating a woman to a bloody pulp while you ‘fuck her’ if she disagrees or doesn’t want sex. Ask him outright why he thinks that man is a hero. That’s what Andrew Tate said, that’s what he tried to encourage as acceptable behaviour. Let your son try and justify that and it will give you the information you need to know.

Also I am mixed race. AT is mixed race. It’s not just angry white men. This isn’t an angry white men problem. It’s angry men. It’s doesn’t take long, to look online to find that every race classification has a problem with angry men. Google Sania Khan. Or Ana Abulaban. Those searches will bring up more. In the US many black women are documenting the hate targeted at them, by black men.

Trying to present it as a white men problem, completely ignores the issue that women who are not white, suffer from the angry man syndrome from their own non white communities as well. It’s often just written off as culture.

@NoGoodUsernamesLeftForMe thank you for thread.

Ive just realised that dc1 has been taken up by him/people like him
He has never mentioned him at all before but then knows well what my reaction to this misogynistic nonsense would be.

But some if the stuff he has come out recently, like men are badly treated, the system is unequal, geared to wards women etc… is along those lines.

@Itsbiasedhere you seem to have got lost on your way to an MRA forum, pal.

@Itsthewhitehat I think it’s easy to think it’s a white man anger when you are in the U.K. because that’s we see. We rarely see (or hear) about issues in the US or with black men.

But you’re right that the issue is in all communities.
And it’s a male issue. Clearly feeling threatened by women doing as well if not better than them.

Have we reached the point where the whole filmed "beating up with belt" incident doesn't warrant a mention because it was "consensual"? Is that normal in teen world now?

i don't ask this aggressively, just wondering if it's helpful to show teens or if they won't care.

See my point exactly. Trying to deplatform and send them on their way because they don't see the world your way.

If you have Spotify, this is a good podcast by men discussing his claims ,character and concluding he's a bit of an asshole. It's also v funny. I think it's important that it's other men doing this. Maybe listen to this with your son, OP?
open.spotify.com/episode/6q8JE05B71Unx3spekFmlc?si=unsh-ADORHqdlvnjWu_hFg&utm_source=copy-link

Daz blacks video on you tube sums a lot of it up. He also has a video which is quite funny about people who targeted DB on twitter after the first video.

I agree with this. We should stereotyping all round.

Can your son spell "grifter"?
Can your son make his own pizza? If so then in at least one area he's ahead of this bloke who was once competing in a sport and now appears to sit around in his dressing gown smoking and eating crap junk food (unable to cook a simple healthy meal like a grown adult - or afford to hire a decent cook).
Kind of sad really - this guy was once a little boy growing up in Luton...how did he end up like that?

Just for the avoidance of doubt @Kitcaterpillar I am definitely no fan of AT he is definitely not someone I associate with or like so I'm hardly the sort of MRA you are referring to.

How do you deal with this?

Remove his access from your router and refuse to pay for his internet usage in anyway.

God knows what he has been viewing online that YOU might end up getting legally sucked into.

It’s like the middle aged men who worship Ant Middleton and David Goggins.

Its people who fill a whole missing in someone’s life.

Glad to hear you don't like him.

You mentioned he has said some sensible things and I wondered what those are, in your opinion?

You're not fooling anyone. But to your previous point, what power do you feel I have to 'deplatform' you? I'm not silencing your speech, you crack on. I'm just calling you out as a bad faith player.