Just a friendly hand hold for any other mums of teens

[Pleasegivemeyourwisdom]

I've 3.

It's a 'journey'.

Just in case anyone wants to know another trying her best mum is thinking of them

daighter Being so unkind tonight. Made older son cry, she couldn’t give one stuff. Her dads raging at her too, As am I but no point in showing it. She can be nasty; just plain nasty, how much to take before there’s consequences? Not that she cares… ps phones crap. Not even trying to fix my typos.

It's so so hard @Pleasegivemeyourwisdom

Stay strong 💪

He has a bank card, not Apple Pay. He agreed with us that he could use class charts and do home work if needed, on screens, and of course monitor bloods so there was some screens. But he was amazing at controlling it - we offered him TV as a family on Friday night and he was adamant he wasn’t going to break it. Normal service resumed now although he did allow me to take him climbing last night so that’s something. @Pleasegivemeyourwisdom - I hear you - it’s crap.

Crap day here and I right now I just want to run away, which I feel guilty about - Mother's day tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to it. Hope everyone else is having better days and seeing light at the end of the tunnel.

Sending a virtual hug. We’re only human and I’m sure most of us have felt like that from time to time -especially when things get stressful. I know I have. But remember - this too shall pass. Hang on in there. There will be better days. Hope you can find some joy today- maybe a nice walk out in nature to get away from it all for a few hours to lift the spirits - or meet a friend - or see a movie to get your mind off things. Then maybe a little break away from home will give you a renewed strength and energy to deal with what’s going on. It’s important to look after yourself -and take a break - you are worth it.
And - Happy Mothers Day to all - sending hugs to everyone doing their best. x

happy Mother’s Day to all of you

Big hugs especially to those struggling at the moment.

My DS (15) is being lovely, but my DD (12) is such hard work, I feel like she hates me, she doesn’t want to be near me or do anything with me, she just wants to sit in her room and sulk. Her hygiene is awful, her bedroom is a state. I am approaching this with as much grace and kindness I can manage, she does seem to be wallowing at will.

im going to go and see my own mother for a bit (difficult) and then try to please myself, don’t be a martyr today, no one will notice, as far as possible do the things you want to, and remember it’s just a day, in a sea of days with big and small battles, occasional victories, and a lot of mundanity.

@Suffolkcatlady Thank you - just come back from a walk - which helped. Yes here's to better things. :-)

Yes, Happy Mother’s Day all. OK day here, church followed by clearing out of kids’ wardrobes - their decision not mine and now their excess crap is spread throughout the house 😣 Ah well.

Hi guys

hands up who’s knackered being an adult today? <my hands up>

how are you all? How are your teens?

im so tired today, I feel I could literally fall asleep in my car waiting for my teen to come out of a music lesson. Caffeine time I think!

Me! I'd like to go to bed now but DH is away so getting E to sleep is my job on my own. I'll be up for hours yet 🤔😳

Ha. I've just woken up from a car nap myself. Set the alarm and put phone on silent. Phew.

Well, we seem to take a few steps forward and a massive step back

DD has fallen out with her friend group. It's been on the cards a while. They are all adding boyfriends to the group. DD is gay and not currently bothered to find a girlfriend.

One of the boys is a tosser. He has taken hugely against DD which has been awkward. He calls her ugly and really tries to wind her up. Her mates told her it's "banter".

Today, he was really abusive so she said she called him a wanker. Mate 1 who is his girlfriend said that was "over the top" and the rest said she should not be so highly strung. So she told them to get fucked basically.

Not great on the language obviously. And I've explained everyone is on edge due to exam stress. But she said they all do her head in and she has mates she likes better but they arent in her year group.
She is a bit miffed with one of the girls as they have been friends since infants school. But I said people do grow apart so maybe it's just natural progression of age and most are moving on after GCSEs.

She has come home OK but said she really is sick of school in general.

However, she has been doing revision, every night after school for an hour. She has also finally engaged with after school catch up clubs too so she's doing 2 hours an evening.
School is also doing catch up days intensive study over Easter holidays (god bless those teachers).

Going through it here.

DD went to school as usual, DH drops her and DS off. She checks her phone just before getting out the car as school has a no phones once on school grounds policy and if seen with a phone it's taken away by SLT until the end of the day.

She realised she had been blocked on WhatsApp by her best friend (since age 7). She immediately got upset but DH told her it was OK they would sort it out (he's not good at girls being bitchy, tends to leave that sort of thing to me).

DD went in to school, after tutor group she saw the group who gave her death stares.

She said she was really upset but had to go to English as she had her speaking and listening test for GCSE as she missed it last year. As a result of the upset caused by the group, she only got a pass when she was seen to be capable of a merit or distinction. Teacher actually emailed me and said she was disappointed for DD but I explained what had been going on. Teacher said she wished DD had of told her because she could have taken that into consideration. Sadly not much to be done now.

She then hid in the loos at breaktime and text me. It was horrible. She was so upset about being blocked. She said she was just sick of school, the boy involved has made it so she has no friends anymore. I rang school who said there wasn't much they could do.

By 11.30am they called me and said she was visibly distressed and it would be best for her to go home. The issue they have is DD won't report what has been going on with the boy. He actually kicked her the other day and not one of those so called friends stuck up for her.

Anyway, she has calmed down. But I've made her see they've not really been worth her friendship for a while now. She had a project for media, making up 30% of her final grade. They had to mock up a magazine so she asked the girls to be in some photos for it. She had helped them with their coursework before but she asked them for months. Not one could be arsed to take up 5 minutes at lunch.

She nearly got an ungraded but fortunately one of her school play friends from the year below said she would do them during a weekend play rehearsal. Not only did she do it, she text a bunch of others in the play to take part, and went as far as to borrow a better camera. The photos were amazing thanks to this kid. So much so that DD bought them all a box of chocolates to say thanks. The so called mates then got the arse!

I've said she should concentrate on the people who care. Also, I said these girls might feel smug now but imagine knowing there ring leader has treated her that way after which friends since the age of 7. Can't make them feel very secure.

It's just sad really. I know friends change but a month before GCSEs sucks. And she has her final practical for drama this week so I've said to concentrate on that. Mercifully she chose to do a monologue as that lot are in her class, I'm now thankful they didn't form a group for this.

Teenage girls never cease to be bloody vile do they?

Teenage girls never cease to be bloody vile do they?

so true - vile, then not …..
it’s a total rollercoaster of emotions
I try very hard to support my dd while she clings on during these scary nose dives while trying to not feel it all myself -
so difficult / sad / frustration / scary

@ReformedWaywardTeen don't have great advice, but just to say Ido feel for your DD. Nothing has changed since we were teens. I went through all of that myself and when I was reading your story it was like living all that shit again.
Your DD has you, do something special for her, her favorite meal, movie etc. You can do something the two of you together, it makes a big difference to have a good mum like you. I hope she will overcome this soon xx

Just want to moan and ask please God it gets better ! They get better !

The end

Not my best moment but lost it both DC today when it wasn't my sons fault.
DD15 annoyed me so much and I was so exhausted from a busy day I just let go and yelled at both of them.
I wish I could hibernate :-(

Thank you.

I actually took the photos down of DD and this girl on her wall. I said that she wasn't worthy of a place in the wall anymore, that ultimately she is clearly insecure to be so quick to ditch her over a boy.
This girl was such a long-term friend she was meant to be a bridesmaid at my wedding a few years ago, but she caught Covid 4 days before so had to drop out. There friendship at the time was so close the pair were in tears over it.

I know her mum quite well and she hasn't said anything, which makes me think she's unaware as they had a very minor disagreement years back and her mum messaged me and said we needed to get them together to sort it out.

I put the photos up of the media project. I had them printed on Snapfish a while back (started having photos done as I missed having them in an album). That actually made her smile. She WhatsApped that group who were amazing, really supportive.
And a previous member of the other group who had distanced himself heard what had happened and has messaged her. He said he got sick of the attitude of some of the girls hence why he moved away from the group, he said "considering I'm gay they were even too bitchy for me" which made her laugh.

Sitting by my fire tonight, thinking of you all, in your wee homes, trying your best to make it all work too, I think you’re all bloody marvellous for not just crawling under a rock and giving up: just saying 😘

You are too!

I think we do our best as well as we can. I find it all mind boggling, most of DDs lot change names every fortnight because it's the in thing to do so it's hard to keep up with who is who.
They've woken up in a good mood today, and have said the will be concentrating on their first drama exam on Thursday. We had fun raiding the cupboards yesterday for the clothes for their character, yes they did leave it that late but that's typical of teens.

Just trying to keep them very grounded and hope they don't get wound up by the nasty ex friend group.

I’m just popping on to vent as massively struggling with teenage years. A recently diagnosed ASD only child here who’s always been difficult, explosive, prickly and self centred. Seems to dislike me intensely and now treats me like dirt. I think the saying about this happens because you allow it is so simplistic. He needs so much support with routine, personal hygiene, still needs daily prompting to brush teeth and don’t even get me started on the rest, it’s exhausting trying to support all of this and then be treated like poo. Husband says don’t do so much for him but it’s really hard to pull back on supporting the basic needs of life. After reading on here I may unplug the internet booster and use it as an incentive but when you’re emotionally drained it’s so hard to keep a clear head and deal with it calmly.

My 15 yo son treats me with complete distain. He won't speak sense to us when asked a question or about anything - just answers "wibble wibble". He doesn't speak to me except to insult me and treats my husband and daughter with equal distain. He is vile to live with. It's comforting to know I'm not the only person going through this. I feel like such a failure as a mother.

No, you’re not alone but it is disheartening. I cope better with things when I’m up but when tired and down I feel as you describe ‘like I’ve failed as a mother’. The fact I can’t even get the basics to be done like daily teeth brushing and regular showers to happen, breaks me. I know SEN children can struggle with personal hygiene but I just don’t know how to support it.

Bad day today too. Dd 15 ASD and ADHD refusing school for a month. Promised ( not holding breath) Will try again after Easter. She is failing all of her exams as she has missed so much and has no desire to try. I don't think she even cares.

I have caught her with a weed dab pen on several occasions always an excuse stops me self harming etc etc.

Well tonight I exploded called her selfish, she gave it back equally and she stormed off to her mates ( where she was planning to go anyway.)

Feel broken tonight.

I haven’t posted here for a while but just wanted to offer you all hugs and support. It can be really shit sometimes.

Anyone else with an autistic teen? Mine is 16.