I think I hate my teenager daughter

[Dantepeak]

I know I sound like a bad mother, but I think I hate my teenager daughter, don’t get me wrong I love her but Tbh I think she a narcissist. She doesn’t care about authority, never listens to me, never listens to her teachers She so rude, she never reflects on her behaviour, never says sorry, she lies all the time, and Gas lights everyone, steals from my purse, doesn’t respect any of my own personal things, doesn’t respect our household. never helps around the house, bully’s her younger sister, any trouble at school she always has to be apart of it. Doesn’t care that’s the school is going to fine me for her being late all the time. Acts so entitled. She only ever nice to me when she wants something, if I don’t give it to her she has a tantrum and back to being horrible, and if I do give it to her then after she receive it she back to being horrible. Her older brother doesn’t like her, they never talk, my mum finds her to rude, and she just uses her dad for what can get from him (were not together) everyone keeps telling me she just a teenager, but I’ve been putting up with this for the last 5yrs, I’ve even ask the school do you think she has ODD, with no real response. I don’t know what to do with her, I don’t like her, I hate spending time with her, and often have thoughts of just calling social service to take her.

@ParentHell I feel the same.

Mine is 18 and off to Uni soon. I am really hoping she will change. She doesn’t drink, appears quiet, fairly polite and well behaved at school and in front of extended family.

But to me she is rude, shouts, swears, is aggressive, ungrateful makes really horrible comments and never ever apologises. She leaves the kitchen in a complete mess, her room and personal hygiene leave a lot to be desired!!

The house will be quiet soon and very occasionally she can be briefly ok for short periods. Part of me will miss her and worry about her but I could do with a break.

She lies in bed late, stays up late, works on some days and the rest of the seems to hang around in her filthy dark smelly bedroom surrounded by dirty clothes, an over flowing bin and wet towels on the floor for her best friend to become available. Then she is off like a shot and comes back mostly in a foul mood. Its draining I feel like I have aged about 30 years in the last six years of her life.

Of course…label her a narcissist to absolve yourself from any responsibility 🙄

@N3philim really?
Does it make you feel good about yourself to post something like this? It’s not AIBU or the DM sidebar of hate/shame.

My daughter is the same way sadly social services will not take her at all ! They keep sending her back and it gets worse . She ran away for 4 days with some grown man she is 14 . I am so angry they are sending her back ! My son and I are so tired of her and her bs . We are tired

Hello, I know this thread is old but I have to ask because I am currently going through the same issue with my 14year old daughter. If the original poster sees this, plzzzz comment and tell me if anything has changed or gotten better. If so, how?? I am at the edge of my patience and Im losing it. She's disruptive, mean, insensitive, inconsiderate and just being a bully to everyone, especially her 11 year old sister. Please help.

It's really important with teens that you enjoy the good moments & don't hold grudges about the bad ones. So literally take each moment as it comes and only expect yourself to do your duty, you're allowed to not like them in the moments they are being foul. Hold on to fact that The same infuriating person who you wanted to throttle 5 minutes ago can still make you laugh & be filled with love & fascination for at any sudden moment.

I also would like update from OP, hope they are feeling better !

Yes, I agree! There are times that I feel so fortunate that I’m her mom. But I also worry about this becoming a constant in her life. Society will not tolerate it if she is like this forever. I want her to have as good an experience in life as possible, and to achieve great things even when I’m not around. That will be difficult if her behavior continues and is not just a phase. Mannerism is very important.

That's a lovely post

I had one of these. It turned out she was undiagnosed autistic and had was suffering terrible mental health. She had/has therapy and we have built a wonderful relationship. She’s 24 now.
It helped to not hold grudges, to greet her every time with enthusiasm even if you had a row an hour before. Showing her it is possible to wipe the slate clean over and over proved to her that she is worthy of love. However, I think it was also useful to say ‘your behaviour right now is really shitty, what the hell’s going on?’ in tough moments. Separating her from her behaviour I guess.

this is me. i have four children, my eldest and youngest are amazing but two middle ones are so challenging i dont think i can continue any longer.
everything you have described but times two. my oldest daughter says she wishes she could die because she can no longer stand to live with them.
i see no way out. i hate them. i regret the day they were born and they are my worst mistake. i know i am responsible for ruining my other two childrens life and i feel guilty about it all the time.
the middle two are only nice when we buy them something or take them on holiday. last week i asked them to take up a pile of their clothes which i washed and folded and it ended in an 6 hours argument and screaming match. i cant explain it but there is something evil in them, something i have never come across in another human being it scares me and it is only a matter of time begore they start to physically abuse me.
im married to an amazing man but it is either i harm myself
or leave them and i have decided to leave them.
i see no other way out.

@fluffybedding that sounds really tough. It sounds like maybe you could pick your battles a bit. Not implying any of this is your fault at all, they sound a nightmare, but I found just stepping back and discussing an issue at a neutral time in a neutral way far more effective than getting into heated conversations. There's a few other option rather than a 6 hour battle, are you getting to reeled in? If it were me, I'd be asking them to take them up. Give it another hour and asking again and warnin if they don't take them up, they can take control of their own laundry. Give it another hour, take the clothes up and renounce responsibility for their clothes. Consequences speak for themselves and you save yourself a job and heartache in future. It's really not worth the energy getting into a power struggle, you're unlikely to win. My advice from recent experience - step right back and give them more responsibility, not less. Good luck, hang in there. It gets easier x

Do teenage boys come back to their mums?

Mine is 18 and has moved to his dad’s. His dad and I have never gone on since I divorced him after years of abuse to myself and my daughter. Including sexual inappropriate behaviour.

I have the sense that my son needs space from me so I’ve given him that. I live alone and I guess am quite boring compared to his narcissistic and social father (who is loaded). Not that my son is materialistic because he isn’t but he is being supported by his father. And it sounds like his new partner is oblivious to his perversions (tho I hope to god he doesn’t expose her daughter to them). It’s all about image for both of them.

my son and I have always been very very close and heartbroken that we haven’t talked about his decision to move there or about the past. I have always lived for my kids not for me tho I’m trying to focus on my needs now

what I really want to know is whether teenage boys come back. When my son was little my ex used to say it didn’t matter if I did everything, his son would love him more in the end. I feel like it’s come true and it’s made me feel very sad

Sorry I posted this in the wrong place :(

im sorry you’re finding it so hard OP. Sometimes being a mum is completely thankless

Hi I’m not familiar with MAST and not getting anywhere with google, please can someone give me more information?

I feel your pain. When did my little girl turn into such a monster?

I dispose my 17 year old daughter. She literally has been acting the same way all the moms here has said. She started this in middle school but grew out of it and grade 10th she started thinking it was ok leaving the house at night without me knowing where she goes. She even hit me when she went to school caught in sexual acts and I took her cellphone I called the police on her and she was arrested for one night and they let her out because her numbers weren’t that high. She used to take my shirts my jackets wearing it to school without asking me. Taking my food or snacks and didn’t regard me at all. She literally two years later age 17 is even worse. She throws her weight around throws things and won’t pick them up. The police won’t do anything I be wanting to punch her so bad, but know I’d be the one in trouble. It’s so bad now I hate when she comes around immediately my energy and spirit changes around her presence. If she’s in her room I’m ok but when she is in the kitchen cooking it irks my nerves because I’m usually in the front room watching tv. It’s so uncomfortable being in the same room with her now since a few days ago she called me a little girl because I asked her to not walk out the house with her shirt up her belly. I don’t buy her tight clothing at all. She rolled the shirt up and made it look really tight and she did the pants the same way. She said I was doing too much and slammed the door. She doesn’t hardly do her work for home school she thinks I’m going to be responsible for her her whole life and I said no I’m not. Especially not when she wants to be rude cuss at me and fighting me no way. She always come home with gifts and snacks etc. I’m just ready for her to turn 18 and I don’t want her in my life anymore. I am in the church I have prayed for her have even introduced her to Christ and she grew up in the church. I love my daughter but her negativity and bad attitude towards me has become exhausting and I don’t want that around me everyday it’s everyday even when I try to stay out her way she finds a way to irritate me. I’m praying for God to bless her with a bright future but I don’t want her in my life. Once she is 18 she has to go immediately and it doesn’t matter where she goes it just cannot be at my home.

Not liking your horrible teen is fine but stand on it on your own bc stating that other family members agree is bullying and will sever all family bonds.