I'm not sure if this will help but I found the more emotional i became , sad or angry . The more I fuelled the fire . I started to contain myself and be v neutral
Once I knew she was safe , others were letting me know when she turned up at theirs , these were friends parents and they would chat with her and bring her home , then we would just say hi when she came back . She started coming back and wanting a hug but we never questioned her just said , hi !
I stopped any emotional contact , sometimes sent funny videos or jokes and poured my grief out to friends only .
When she saw that I was calm she started to re- engage with me .
She has counselling and told the counsellor that she couldn't stand to see me emotional so that pushed her further away .
It isn't easy but we are much calmer and she even asked me to watch a film with her the other night .
I know our situation isn't the same because she effectively has to come home .
But compared to two months ago when she was absconding after school , turning tracker off , leaving at 8pm through the window , wandering the streets , saying she hated me , hated being at home , took an overdose , and had to have a mental health assessment she is now like a different child and I can only say it's because I stopped being emotional in front of her .
I hope things resolve for you soon because I know the pain I felt was like nothing I could imagine at the time
All the best