Teen about to be kicked out of sixth form - what would you do?

[iammumm]

Hi all,

I have an 18 year old who's in his second year of sixth form, and is about to be kicked out due to unapproved absences (not showing up for class, sleeping in, etc). He's a really good kid overall - doesn't talk back, doesn't disobey, not generally moody - but his school can't keep him enrolled because his attendance is down to 70%.

His school has placed him on various probations and it's only getting worse - just because he's lazy, it's beyond frustrating.

We want him to be responsible and we don't wake him up because he's 18 and needs to learn responsibility and deal with real consequences, so us doing the helicopter parenting thing to make sure he's at school on time isn't an option anymore - it's well overdue that he does it himself.

We're all for tough love and think it's time for a gigantic kick up the arse, but he doesn't seem to be phased by anything, no threats, probations, nothing seems to work to get this issue resolved.

Any brilliant ideas from fellow teen parents?

@ftw163532

Is he actually well? Falling back to sleep after getting up and dressed is quite extreme.

I agree.

That's not usual. Normally, despite 'the pain' of having to get up, dressed, ready to go, people, even young ones, get on with their day. I can't think of any occasion where someone then goes back to sleep.

That's either profound, deep disengagement or a medical issue that needs looking into.

I'm.a teacher in FE. Students with poor attendance take up way more of my time than those who do.

I teach 152 people a week. Anyone who doesn't attend a class I have to:

• contact via Teams or Email

-Log in to our Track System and log that I've contacted them -Issue a warning if they've missed 3 in a row (recorded in detail) -Point them in the direction of the class materials on Teams -Have a word when they return about expectations -Spend extra time with them in the next class because they're now behind -Document everything I've done to try to improve their attendance on different paperwork when trying to get them removed

Blah blah blah. It's not fair on me or those who do attend.

Get him in 100% of the time or don't fight the withdrawal.

I'd nip this in the bud straight away, let him get kicked out but then give him nothing but food and shelter. No internet, no paying for phones, no treats, no lifts etc

My friend had the same with her now 19 year old. He's now a complete entitled arse and treats her like shit. If he'd carried on with sixth form, he'd have got predicted A's or B's due to covid, but he thought he knew best!

She treats him like a king, gives him money, lifts, pays his drug debts off in fear someone will come to the house, buys him tobacco, I could go on and on.

I'm return she's gets attitude, a weed stinking house and nothing but worry. I'd go hard on this one as he needs to know you mean business.

Hi, we have a son in a remarkably similar situation. We've been reading the thread and wondering how this progressed or resolved a year or so later.
Would you mind posting an update?