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DD accused of sending Nude to a boy in school and she's devastated
178

Whitegrenache · 29/04/2021 09:49

Dd is suffering from low mood and anxiety ans has never enjoyed secondary school. She has a strong set of friends out of school but has never really had firm friends at school which she finds hard and sad about.
Anyway she started self harming last week and told me. I spoke to GP and have booked her for private counselling which we are waiting for a date.
She fell out with her bf after Xmas and doesn't know why, bf just stopped speaking to her for no reason which has definitely been a source of dd anxiety.

She rang me at lunchtime yesterday begging me to pick her up from school. She then burst into tears when she was in the car and told me a boy (her ex best friends ex boyfriend )had told another boy, that a girl (from a different school) had sent him a nude picture. that boy then decided to shout out in the dinner hall that it was my DD who sent it. All but one of her friends have turned against my dd believing that she did send the nude and how dare she do this to her bf 😢
Then last night dd was getting snap chats from on random girl being basically Abusive and bullying dd. She was absolutely heart broken and begged us to not send her into school.
We insisted she needs to go to the school which she has done and try to ignore and be strong.

My question is what else can is do?
She won't let me contact school as snitches are treat even worse!
But she is desperately unhappy and I am absolutely lost as to how to help her.
Thanks

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Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 29/04/2021 16:54

Your poor daughter OP.

Well done for taking her out.

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Rhythmisadancer · 29/04/2021 17:01

well done for mumming up! Sorry your DD has had to put up with this - home schooling has been a relief of r a lot of kids, so a bit more of that and then hopefully you'll find her a better school environment.

Would also report to the police though. It sounds as though there's a troubling picture of someone's child in circulation .

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hannayeah · 29/04/2021 17:02

Do you have a relationship with any of her friends’ parents?

What about explaining the situation to them so they can talk to their kids?

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Whitegrenache · 29/04/2021 17:02

@ChiefBabySniffer thanks for your post
And to everyone else who replied

She has a lovely weekend job where is adored and totally respected as she is a hard worker. She is a very good horse rider and competes regularly so has a great social life through this.

I'm so glad I did what I did and hopefully we will all sleep a bit better tonight

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hannayeah · 29/04/2021 17:02

(Not sure if that’s a good idea or a bad one)

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Whitegrenache · 29/04/2021 17:03

@ChiefBabySniffer your story broke my heart ❤️

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LazyDaisy22 · 29/04/2021 17:07

You have done the right thing for your daughter OP. I think you mentioned being able to afford private school for a year? Perhaps it would be worth starting to investigate this now so you have it ready if needed. Best wishes to you and your lovely daughter.

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waitingforthenextseason · 29/04/2021 17:11

ChiefBabySniffer's story is why you need to contact the police.

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RampantIvy · 29/04/2021 17:12

I'm so sorry about what happened to your DD @ChiefBabySniffer Flowers
I hope she is OK now.

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Horehound · 29/04/2021 17:17

@ChiefBabySniffer love your name.
How was your daughter after the police for involved? Did the bullying stop? Did you change her schools?
That must've been utterly horrific for you all. What a nightmare.

@Whitegrenache i think it is imperative you contact police. You cannot trust the school.

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SheldonesqueTheBstard · 29/04/2021 17:19

MrsElijahMikaelson1

You’ve done well so far but complete the action and report to the police-these young men need to learn.

I think the same.

To you and chiefbabysniffer Flowers

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ShortSilence · 29/04/2021 17:22

Such a valuable thread. Thank you to all the people posting good advice here.

OP, well done, sending good thoughts to you and your dd. And to ChiefBabySniffer and family.

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YellowGlasses · 29/04/2021 17:33

Please report this to the police.

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LolaSmiles · 29/04/2021 17:36

I'm so glad you're getting somewhere with this OP. It sounds like school are taking it seriously too.

Hopefully school will be speaking to the boy in question to find out more and clamping down on the horrible bullying your DC has been subjected to .

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ChiefBabySniffer · 29/04/2021 17:37

My daughter was in the December before her exams when this happened to her so moving schools wasn't an option. She basically sat in the head masters office every day and teachers sent work up to her. The head teacher brought her lunch every day and she was allowed to get to school ten minutes late and leave five minutes early. I won't lie, she spectacularly failed most of her GCSEs and her best marks were 2 Bs . She previously disclosed at 14 in school that she had been sexually assaulted at age 11-12 Ona sleep over so already had some issues but was doing well before this happened. The gangs that tormented her accused her of lying about the sexual assault too. I can't stress enough how much those 45+ kids affected her long term development. But she is still having weekly therapy, has PTSD and keeps her very few friendships at arms length. I'm just glad that I learned about the group and caught her with the razors . She's a brand new mum now ( hence my username!) and has found the courage to apply for an access course to go to the local university to study law and offending.

I am incredibly proud of her. More so than she will ever believe. The man that sexually abused her on the sleep over, his child and one of the kids that bullied her, recently got in touch to basically say I'm sorry. I should have believed you because he did it to me too. She burst into huge tears as after all this time she was still a little girl desperate to be believed and to have a friend support her. It's been a strong step in her actually finally starting to heal after all this time.

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Whitegrenache · 29/04/2021 17:42

@ChiefBabySniffer congratulations on being a brilliant mum too!

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CharityDingle · 29/04/2021 17:47

@SheldonesqueTheBstard

MrsElijahMikaelson1

You’ve done well so far but complete the action and report to the police-these young men need to learn.

I think the same.

To you and chiefbabysniffer Flowers

Absolutely do contact the police.

It's far too serious a matter, to leave it with the school, and the person / people involved need to experience consequences for their behaviour.
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BlueVelvetStars · 29/04/2021 18:00

My lord OP thank goodness your daughter told you immediately what happened. Her so called ex-bestie is a spiteful and the her ex-bf needs the Police at his door to establish exactly where this LIE began.

Im so glad she is home secure and safe, thankfully you can send her to a private school. I would do the exact same, or certainly to another school.

Please reconsider involving the Police, this lad needs a rocket up his lying arse.

Keep your DD close OP 💕

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Horehound · 29/04/2021 18:04

@ChiefBabySniffer fish that's just so awful but to be honest getting two Bs I think is great! I didn't get anything and for her to have gone through all of that, wow.

That's so lovely she is now a mummy and that she is going to go to college. I can just imagine how relieved she would have felt to have some kind of acknowledgement that she was telling the truth.

Your daughter is strong!

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ChiefBabySniffer · 29/04/2021 18:12

@Horehound

I didn't get any GCSEs at all either, I flunked out big time after being raped as a young teen too. Got into drugs, got pregnant young and ended up with two babies by 19. But I sorted myself out and completed the same course at the same uni my daughter is starting and even went on to do my masters. I'm starting a phd hopefully in the next year so I'm delighted to have her at uni with me.

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MistyMargaret · 29/04/2021 18:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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MistyMargaret · 29/04/2021 18:43

Shit, I posted on the wrong thread. This was obviously for "what are you afraid of". I've asked MNHQ to remove. Sorry and as you were...

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Viviennemary · 29/04/2021 18:45

Of course you need to contact the school and get this sorted out. Its not clear. Has your DD been sent any such photo. If so who by. If you don't say anything then if more accusations come out and another parent complains the school will want to know why you knew but said nothing.

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Horehound · 29/04/2021 18:46

Wow @ChiefBabySnifferyou have been through so much and it's commendable you haven't let it stop you. Congratulations for overcoming all of that x

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Pinkdormobile · 29/04/2021 18:54

Although it's really tough to read these stories, it's also wonderful to hear mums being so fantastic and supportive to their daughters. I also think the boys need to be called out for their behaviour and the girls for the nasty bullying. How else will they learn?

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