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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Having sex when teenagers are in the house

276 replies

tiredandgrumpy · 09/10/2020 17:26

Embarrassing problem. Having a dilemma. Turns out our floorboards are very squeaky and since our bedroom is immediately above dd's bedroom, she's getting disturbed.

We're honestly not noisy. Last night I didn't think there was any noise, but dd is in tears because she claims we disturbed her again.

What is the answer? We can try to get better soundproofing in the floor, but is half her upset the knowledge that her parents are up to something she just doesn't want to know about? Dh has a high sex drive so reducing frequency is not really a long term option.

OP posts:
malificent7 · 10/10/2020 17:41

Oh ffs...i CAUGHT my das going down on my mum when iwas younger and i wasn't scarred for life even though it was a shock at the time. Sex was probably the only glue holding their marriage together.
I agree you should be quiet as possible and do it at different times but to only do it when she's out??? Really????
Be a bit more creative.

malificent7 · 10/10/2020 17:41

Dad

malificent7 · 10/10/2020 17:42

And im not having a go at you op....just some of the pearl clutchers on here.

Kittykat93 · 10/10/2020 18:54

BewilderedDoughnut I've seen you on multiple threads as a pp has said, always commenting how you are so happy to not have kids, why do you always come onto topics that involve kids and then comment completely useless stuff? It's pointless and makes you look like a dick, it's clear from previous posts you actively dislike children..

D00MGL00M · 10/10/2020 19:09

MN isn't just for parents, that's right. But where topics specifically relate to children & parenting, and family life, contribute if you want to, but if you've nothing constructive to add, maybe scroll past the thread?

It's an odd thing to do isn't it. I wouldn't join a biking forum and repeatedly announce on biking discussion how pleased I am I don't have a bike. There's so many discussions on here that having nothing to do with being a parent, it's weird repeatedly stating you're so pleased not to be a parent on a discussion about parenting, on a parenting website, when there's so many none parenting discussion to waste your time on.

Similar behaviour of those with hairy hands.

Justwingingmotherhood · 10/10/2020 19:15

@D00MGL00M

MN isn't just for parents, that's right. But where topics specifically relate to children & parenting, and family life, contribute if you want to, but if you've nothing constructive to add, maybe scroll past the thread?

It's an odd thing to do isn't it. I wouldn't join a biking forum and repeatedly announce on biking discussion how pleased I am I don't have a bike. There's so many discussions on here that having nothing to do with being a parent, it's weird repeatedly stating you're so pleased not to be a parent on a discussion about parenting, on a parenting website, when there's so many none parenting discussion to waste your time on.

Similar behaviour of those with hairy hands.

Hilarious !! Haha
Lsquiggles · 10/10/2020 19:28

How long were you at it if she couldn't sleep all night? Grin your sex life shouldn't be dictated by your child. At 14 I'd think she should be more mature. It's understandable to feel a bit grossed out by her parents having sex but she should understand that it's part of a healthy relationship and she can't just demand you stop having sex

woodhill · 10/10/2020 19:30

@malificent7

Oh ffs...i CAUGHT my das going down on my mum when iwas younger and i wasn't scarred for life even though it was a shock at the time. Sex was probably the only glue holding their marriage together. I agree you should be quiet as possible and do it at different times but to only do it when she's out??? Really???? Be a bit more creative.
I think that is even more cringey
feministfemme · 10/10/2020 19:30

@Lsquiggles

How long were you at it if she couldn't sleep all night? Grin your sex life shouldn't be dictated by your child. At 14 I'd think she should be more mature. It's understandable to feel a bit grossed out by her parents having sex but she should understand that it's part of a healthy relationship and she can't just demand you stop having sex
She's not really demanded they stop having sex has she? She's just bugged about being kept up by her parents shagging. 14 year olds shouldn't be expected to be "mature" about sex if they're not ready to be.
Lsquiggles · 10/10/2020 19:31

Some of the replies on here are ridiculous, how dare you have the biggest room in the house you pay for and are the adults in the house! Wink OP do what you can to minimise noise but that's all you can do

Lsquiggles · 10/10/2020 19:32

@feministfemme what do you suggest they do then? Never have sex?

baconbits · 10/10/2020 19:35

@Lsquiggles Soundproof the room. Swap rooms. Have sex in the shower. Have sex when DD is out. Rent a room for a night. Car sex. Have sex when she's at school. Fix the bed if it's causing the issue. Have sex on the floor.

I'm not suggesting they should never have sex. I'm just suggesting their DD shouldn't be negatively affected by it, and it's not a question of maturity.

feministfemme · 10/10/2020 19:37

Sorry ** alternate account.

BexR · 10/10/2020 19:39

Oh god the repulsive sound of my dad and his wife shagging when I was 17 has negatively affected me. It's the fact they didnt give a shit that I was downstairs (sometimes with friends). The sound of a bed going up and down turns me right off - so its caused a few issues for my own sex life!

woodhill · 10/10/2020 19:41

Ooh what do you think people did in the 20th century and before when poor families shared rooms etc

feministfemme · 10/10/2020 19:44

@woodhill Probably have sex in front of their kids, so I'm not sure why you're holding that as the standard. In the 19th century I could have beaten my children, doesn't make it right.

ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 10/10/2020 19:45

@JudyJ

I just want to add (and I'm not saying it's the case here) that having sex doesn't always indicate a loving, healthy relationship, which seems to be the assumption in a lot of the replies here. I regularly heard my parents, but it was in the context of a very difficult relationship and I found it disturbing and upsetting as I could pick up that it was problematic in some way, even though I didn't understand why at the time. Later conversations with my mum have shown me that my feelings were correct. Context is important.
Agree with this, having sex does not automatically mean couples are in a happy loving relationship and I also think the daughter is hearing far more than squeaking floorboards, it’s not just floorboards squeaking that’s the problem she will be hearing the floorboards going faster and she will know exactly when when her parents are finishing, no one wants to hear that.
woodhill · 10/10/2020 19:48

No but was trying to get some perspective

feministfemme · 10/10/2020 19:49

@woodhill I still think it's shitty to have sex that your underage children can hear and be upset by. I'm not sure the thought process of essentially "it could be worse" necessarily helps anyone out honestly.

woodhill · 10/10/2020 19:55

Yes, I'm not disagreeing. I don't feel comfortable with ds here and would wait till he was out.

feministfemme · 10/10/2020 19:57

@woodhill I mean fair enough then, I guess I just don't understand your original post in that case.

wishywashywoowoo70 · 18/10/2020 11:32

I don't get why the floorboards are noisy if you're in the bed. How hard is he jumping you to make the floor move?

WearyandBleary · 23/10/2020 22:56

I don’t understand why you are so insensitive as to make so much noise. We have SUCH QUIET SEX when the dc can hear. We barely move!!! It’s only polite isn’t it?

Gifgif · 30/10/2020 21:08

I feel pretty grossed out just reading that, let alone her. Surely there is some time she is out.

Strawberry33 · 10/11/2020 02:45

I do it in the bathroom on a tiled floor and yeah my head is pretty much against the toilet but needs must 😂

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