The majority of dds friends are either gay, bi, pan or trans

[Mrschickpeabody]

She insists she’s ‘straight’. We’ve assured her we’d have no problem at all if she wasn’t as long as she’s happy. Every day someone in her friendship circle comes out as pan or decides they’re bi and not gay. One friend has just realised she is trans and has a new name and is referred to as a he now. They are about to go into year 9 so she 13-14. Is this remotely ‘normal’.

With regard to the erosion of boundaries idea, this article is worth a read, especially if your kids are planning on merrily marching alongside a Pride parade any time soon:

thecritic.co.uk/pups-furries-kinksters-have-no-place-in-pride/

I agree it's definitely a fad. Young teens imagining their sexuality needs to be broadcast from the rooftops is bloody tiresome as well.

IfNotNow
I think you're wrong about it being a southern thing. I'm in West Yorkshire. DD and her teen friends talk about this a lot. Not exclusively, they do have lots of other interests. But I don't think it's a class thing either. It's generational, but that doesn't mean all teens are going to be interested. Many are more interested in sport, gaming, etc.

@SapphosRock

The pearl clutching on this thread is hilarious.

Some people are gay. Some are bi. Some are pan. Some are trans. Many experiment as teenagers.

As long as we're not talking about hormones or surgery (there is no indication in the OP that's the case) then what on earth is the harm?

I overheard one of DD’s friends talking about a friend who was a girl and is now a boy, and casually said ‘yeh he’s having the stuff to stop his boobs growing’ so it’s not quite as simple as oh it’s just teens experimenting any more....

I have noticed most of the posters on this thread are talking about their teen DDs. Is this mainly happening with girls, what about teen boys?

And schools are encouraging it all and making a huge deal about it rather than letting it all just work itself out.

I have to disagree with this part of your post, roswell.

Many schools are unaware of the basic issues and have lobby groups like Stonewall come in to train the staff and misrepresent the Equality Act 2010, so that teachers are left believing that it’s against the law not to allow a 15-year-old male pupil to change for PE with the girls if he says he’s now a girl himself.

@Roswellconspiracy

Well, it's certainly better than being in an inappropriately intense relationship with an older male. Maybe it gets them less hassle from boys as well?

I think any intense relationship Is worrying really. Plus the fact that these kids will either be straight gay or bi but are trying to be good allys so could well be being coerced into eroding their boundries. Lesbians being told their sexual preference must include those with male body parts. And instead of being allowed a "type" suddenly your sexuality has to include everyone in the form.of pansexual.

None of us care if our kids are gay or straight or bi. We just want them to be happy and loved .

But there is far far far to much emphasis on all of it to be healthy. I know peolw from completely different schools whos kids are also friends who are all coming out too.

And schools are encouraging it all and making a huge deal about it rather than letting it all just work itself out.

Yeah, I mean I can imagine some of the conversations that go on now...

I think I fancy other girls, I think I might be a lesbian

Oh cool... Hey does this mean you might get together with Ellie? Oooh how exciting!

Ellie? Well, I'm not sure Ellie is my type...

Huh? Why not, she is lovely!

Yeah I know but, it's just.... Well....

What?! It's not because Ellie is trans is it?! You are saying that you wouldn't go out with Ellie because she is trans? But I thought you were really inclusive, we went to Pride last year and everything?

But, you know, Ellie has a.... I'm just not sure I would want to....

Wait, so your saying that because Ellie has a penis, you wouldn't want to do anything with her? Are you that fixated on genitals that the person doesn't even matter? Wow... I'm not sure what to say, I mean, if that's how you feel then I'm not sure that we can....

No wait, of course I wouldn't exclude Ellie... OK, maybe I am pan then, yeah i will come out as pansexual....

Well, you know pansexual isn't really very inclusive because it doesn't acknowledge that someone like Ellie is actually female. No... Its fine to be a lesbian, I mean it is 2020 you know, you just have to ensure that you are not excluding anyone, it's literal violence.

Um.... OK....

Have you seen RJD on you tube.

There are videos dedicated to just that

casual

Thats what I meant.

Years ago teachers would have accepted this teenage phase rolled their eyes and let them.get on with it.

Now they have all been stonewall trained and affirmation is instant even behind the parents backs , no ones told a thing and schools run pride celebrations.

And schools also know the law. Ajd their safguarding policies. They have updated them and followed them fir as long as they have existed.

There are so many things in the training that stand out as red flags and tbh im done giving schools the benefit of the doubt.
They know..many of the teachers know they have posted on here with their concerns. You dont go to the dentist with a broken leg so why would you consult a charity/lobby group about legal advice.

If you can't identify red flags when its your job to do so then you have no business in.a school tbh

You also pay for the training. It costs money to become stonewall champions. So its actively sought out. They decide to spend the money and implement the suggestions because they want the certificates. They are presumably free to drop out /stop paying any time. The second it starts to look a bit ropey. They don't.

Highly recommend this book / audio book on this topic:
Douglas Murray The Madness of Crowds

Re Geography I am in Northumberland. It's a thing here.
I have lived in southern Scotland - VERY big thing where I was
(inc offering 'surgical pathway' quite quickly to 14 yr olds)

@Squidsister

I have noticed most of the posters on this thread are talking about their teen DDs. Is this mainly happening with girls, what about teen boys?

I have a 17 year old ds who can't be bothered with any of it. I wonder if he just slightly missed the surge of obsession with it all. He looks slightly baffled when his sister talks about "ships" and all the different forms they come in. He's very much we are what we are why do we have to keep going on about it? I'm grateful for it. Two in the house ranting on about who might be gay, het, bi, pan, a, etc etc etc, would be hard to bear.

There was supposed to be an inquiry into the 4000 percent increase in girls showing up at the gender clinic but it never happened

If you can't identify red flags when its your job to do so then you have no business in.a school tbh

I was a safeguarding lead in my last job (just left in July). I made it clear at every safeguarding training update that I attended how I felt about schools having lobby groups in to train staff in transgender issues. I attended the conference I mentioned up thread - in the workshop on gender, when I gave my definitions of sex and gender, it’s fair to say a pile-on ensued. I spent the best part a year trying to get on the working party that was writing the LA’s policy on transgender issues. I shared copies of Transgendertrend’s schools toolkit at network meetings, despite being told by the LA’s PSHE lead that this was not acceptable.

I’m not expecting a pat on the back. But it’s an uphill struggle to counter the full force of the transgender lobby in schools.

All that GC staff can feasibly do is chip away in whatever small way they can.

@CasuallyMasculine

If you can't identify red flags when its your job to do so then you have no business in.a school tbh

I was a safeguarding lead in my last job (just left in July). I made it clear at every safeguarding training update that I attended how I felt about schools having lobby groups in to train staff in transgender issues. I attended the conference I mentioned up thread - in the workshop on gender, when I gave my definitions of sex and gender, it’s fair to say a pile-on ensued. I spent the best part a year trying to get on the working party that was writing the LA’s policy on transgender issues. I shared copies of Transgendertrend’s schools toolkit at network meetings, despite being told by the LA’s PSHE lead that this was not acceptable.

I’m not expecting a pat on the back. But it’s an uphill struggle to counter the full force of the transgender lobby in schools.

All that GC staff can feasibly do is chip away in whatever small way they can.

Well, you deserve a pat on the back, and a lot more. Thank you.

Yes we really do appreciate people like you

I find it astonishing that not only has it been approved by multiple people at multiple levels before it gets to you, why do you employ safeguarding leads if you dont want to hear what they have to say or approve of them doing their job

It’s not that long since I was at school (4 years) and I can’t imagine things have changed THAT much in that time.

For us, there was basically a group / clique in each year group using these labels and definitions etc and no one else did. They kept themselves to themselves and no one gave them bother but outside these small groups it wasn’t common at all. In fact it was exclusive to these groups (except people being gay).

Possibly your dd is just in one of these cliques, and there’s really nothing wrong with that

I find it astonishing that not only has it been approved by multiple people at multiple levels before it gets to you, why do you employ safeguarding leads if you dont want to hear what they have to say or approve of them doing their job

This is how it works in local authorities. No way would they seek the opinion of a lowly safeguarding lead, regardless of how well- informed they may be, when there’s a policy officer on five times the salary who wants the kudos of having signed off the policy themselves.

And those are the people we know , know. Those are the people who will pretend they had no idea and that lessons will be learnt etc

Those are the people who will throw everyone else under the bus.

And those are the people we have been warning everyone about for years

I know, roswell.

And they are so woefully uninformed about the whole issue, not just the law surrounding it. You end up feeling like some kind of flat-earther who has to be reined in before you bring the LA into disrepute with your ridiculous conspiracy theories.