The majority of dds friends are either gay, bi, pan or trans

[Mrschickpeabody]

She insists she’s ‘straight’. We’ve assured her we’d have no problem at all if she wasn’t as long as she’s happy. Every day someone in her friendship circle comes out as pan or decides they’re bi and not gay. One friend has just realised she is trans and has a new name and is referred to as a he now. They are about to go into year 9 so she 13-14. Is this remotely ‘normal’.

I don't get this way of thinking - if you're (general you) not pan/bi/gay/whatever, how on earth does it affect you personally?

Pan is more than just a stupid label. It’s a way of undermining sex as the basis for attraction and therefore undermines a lesbian’s ability to just be a lesbian. Being a lesbian is transphobic you know because you are bigoted against lesbians who don’t have female sexed bodies (ie men).

It’s a homophobic shitshow and our poor children are being hoodwinked into it. And if they are not themselves NB or pan or trans then they absolutely must be a good ally as someone on this thread has already made clear.

Most of what’s described on this thread is normal teenage identity play and attention seeking and there’s nothing wrong with that. But a few will be led further into this by some of the very concerning lobby groups out there and those children will potentially suffer considerable damage. If it wasn’t for this risk we could take a ‘oh that’s nice dear’ attitude to some of this and let time and maturity play its part. One of DD’s friends ‘came out’ as asexual at 11. This is the language they all use now. On one level it’s harmless. On another level it pains me to think of this poor girl - not even half way through puberty yet and going through all the drama of starting secondary school and all that - worrying about her lack of sexual feeling and having to give herself a label to justify herself. We are not giving girls any space to grow up and find their own path to womanhood. And dodgy lobby groups are in schools pushing this agenda every day.

If you read my earlier post, this is about teens and their need to constantly discuss this very topic, every single day.

My daughter has a group of friends all intent on being gay/lesbian/pan and trans. They talk of nothing else.

Which is what the OP was asking.

So yes, I have no issue with their sexuality, but my god they need other hobbies and need to stop being defined by ‘sex’

Pan is basically a way in which males have been able to ensure that they are centred in every sexuality

OK, now seriously confused lol - how on earth can a man get into a woman's thoughts and influence their sexuality?!
I mean, you're attracted to who you're attracted to.
Nothing changes that, not even men, the patriarchy, and brain washing thought waves from some of them that "make" you be straight to fancy them, or pan, so you can boff them as well as women to make sure they're still centred lol
WTF

It’s a homophobic shitshow and our poor children are being hoodwinked into it. And if they are not themselves NB or pan or trans then they absolutely must be a good ally as someone on this thread has already made clear

You have hit the nail on the head really. We should not be so relaxed about teenagers being gaslit and/or coerced into ignoring their sexual boundries to appear to be a good ally and not to offend anyone.

@Quaagars

I think whoever came up with pansexual should be buried in a deep dark place. If they decide on another lbtq+ label I think I'll find a dark hole to hide in

I don't get this way of thinking - if you're (general you) not pan/bi/gay/whatever, how on earth does it affect you personally?
I mean, I'm straight, but I couldn't care less what others are, or identify as.
It literally doesn't affect me.
Each to their own

Strangely enough, because my child is gay. It affects me because they are gay.

Maybe I should have said lighthearted in my post?

I couldn't give a flying fuck about anyone else! If it affects my kid, then you bet I'm gonna be affected.

oh, and I hate labels.

quag

Quite easily. Kids are being told via YouTube and twitter that genital preferences are transphobic and attraction is based on gender which means that men can now be lesbians , and men can be the men and women in a bi sexual relationship and obviously men who like men are allowed to like men. Therefore basically onvolved in all of it ajd if you dont believe me go look at stonewall and their definitions of homosexual you will see uts now same gender attractiom.

Strangely enough, because my child is gay. It affects me because they are gay

Yes, your child is gay, can (kind of) see why that affects you personally - how does anyone else saying they're pan or whatever affect you?
It doesn't affect your child, it's not them, it doesn't affect you either, it's their life and their sexuality.
I'm not one for labels either, but that's because I don't feel the need for them personally.
If others are bi, or pan or whatever I don't think ruddy bollox, you don't need labels (aimed generally, not at you) as I'm not them.
It feels a bit ridiculing and dismissing from some of the comments on here, and I say that as a biologically female straight person so goodness knows what people who are under LGBT+ feels!

I'm sure the LGB are sick of straight people identifying into into it by adding nonsense such as pansexual. No only is it coercive to the lgb being made to feel guilty fir their preferences its a complete piss take that 2 people in a hetero sexal relationship are now somehow amongst the victims of abuse/homophobia etc

Totally normal these days. My cousin is 16, she tells me that she is the most boring out of all her friends as she is "just" gay (not pan/bi/trans/non binary).

In my day the thing was to be lesbian, it was called being a LUG (lesbian until graduation).

I'm sure the LGB are sick of straight people identifying into into it by adding nonsense such as pansexual

Straight people added "the nonsense" that is pansexual?
Says who?
How do you come to that conclusion

My cousin is 16, she tells me that she is the most boring out of all her friends as she is "just" gay (not pan/bi/trans/non binary).
Boring? So it is all just a try on persona.

Most of DD’s (15) identify as bi at the moment. I’m not sure what DD identifies as, she’s had a couple of boyfriends, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she also identifies as bi.

As PP’s have said, the teen years are when most people figure out their sexuality so they may identify differently in 10 years- or may be not, at least they can be open about it.

so they may identify differently in 10 years- or may be not, at least they can be open about it

Exactly, good they feel they can be open about it

Fuck me. I'm guessing these kids don't live in Keighley..or Dewsbury
It seems to be a very middle class epidemic of navel gazing.
Seriously though, what actually worries me is why the sexuality of children (just going into year 9 is very young) is so important? Why is it? At that age I was very close to my female best friend and had kissed Craig Walters once on the lips and that was enough to be going on with.
Who is encouraging these kids to label themselves? It's so ridiculous. And a bit creepy if you think about it.

I think it's fab they can all be open but DS going into year 11 and one trans in school and that's it so far. No idea what is normal. I wonder if they are being encouraged to explore themselves earlier these days.

Fuck me. I'm guessing these kids don't live in Keighley..or Dewsbury

Wow.
Are all Yorkshire folk too straight talking and backward thinking to partake in knowing their sexuality, or different terms?!

It seems to be a very middle class epidemic of navel gazing

By middle class I'm assuming you don't mean any Keighley or Dewsbury type ones seeing as you omitted them (as there is such a thing) so you must mean Notting Hill type luvvies?
See I can do it too.
Stereotyping at its finest.

@Quaagars

Strangely enough, because my child is gay. It affects me because they are gay

Yes, your child is gay, can (kind of) see why that affects you personally - how does anyone else saying they're pan or whatever affect you?
It doesn't affect your child, it's not them, it doesn't affect you either, it's their life and their sexuality.
I'm not one for labels either, but that's because I don't feel the need for them personally.
If others are bi, or pan or whatever I don't think ruddy bollox, you don't need labels (aimed generally, not at you) as I'm not them.
It feels a bit ridiculing and dismissing from some of the comments on here, and I say that as a biologically female straight person so goodness knows what people who are under LGBT+ feels!

It doesn't. I'm only interested in what my child goes through. As their mother why wouldn't I be affected by what they go through. As for your kind of in brackets, it suggests to me that you are not personally involved in this issue. Until you are sat in the middle of a child deciding who they are its not as simple as, yay or nay. I dont want my child to be labeled as anything other than my child. They have chosen to do it themselves. Other people can do what the fuck they like. I will support my child whether they decide they are a fish, dog, cat or hamster.

Never have I been so glad that my about to go into year 9 13 year old boy is just obsessed with gaming. That's it - gaming. He likes talking about it and doing it. He's also straight but I'm thankful we haven't had this fad yet and I can't see it popping up any time soon.

And it is a fad. I'd probably smile and nod etc but it's pretty strange to an old fucker like me

Yes I have wondered about this too. DD is 14 and many of her friends are gay / bi / trans. She seems to be unusual in that she isn’t any of those (or not yet anyway....) and she isn’t interested in having a relationship yet. She really doesn’t like all the dramas. She gets bored by her friends constantly on Instagram and taking selfies.

I agree it seems like an over-obsession with sexuality, and with looks, with looking sexy, having crushes and girlfriends.

I just can’t remember being like that at 14!!
I do remember at 16 having a brief sexual relationship with a female friend but it was just experimenting, and I quickly realised that I wasn’t really gay. However I didn’t feel a need to label myself as bisexual, or announce it to the world. It was between myself and my friend.

I do wish Teens could feel able to experiment with their identity without feeling the need to label themselves so much.

I do think it’s the new rebellion - probably as parents become more relaxed and liberal themselves, teens are looking for other ways to be different and push the boundaries.

I also think social media fuels a lot of the obsession with looking sexy.

They have decided to do it themselves
Yes, and so do others. Know who they are, just like your child, and say who they are.
Although seems only some are OK to say who they are but not others.
Which seems a bit hypocritical

Surely it should be a case of "yes love, ill support you" regardless of whether its a fad or not. Surely parents aren't going to downplay their child's choices?
Whether its a "phase" or a "fad" a child deserves support.
Mental health teams and doctors are hardly going to say yes at the first appointment for those that are identifying as trans.

Are all Yorkshire folk too straight talking and backward thinking to partake in knowing their sexuality, or different terms?!
I've no idea. Yorkshire is a massive county encompassing a wide range of social classes. Didn't you know that?

Backward thinking though? Is it really backward thinking to expect children to behave like children, rather than labeling themselves pan fucking sexual or queer at 13 years old? I don't think so. I'll ask again-WHY do 13 year olds need to know what their sexuality is? Why does it matter?

Didn't I know that?
Yes. Yes I do know Yorkshire is "a massive county" (you do realise it's not all one county right?)
You're the one insinuating that people from Keighley or Dewsbury can't possibly "navel gaze" or know about different sexualities it's a middle class thing to do (what, no middle class people in them there parts?)
I seriously think some of you have no idea how fucking offensive you are sometimes in your rush to be all "wah, it's all woke"
Talk about stereotyping.

@Quaagars

Didn't I know that? Yes. Yes I do know Yorkshire is "a massive county" (you do realise it's not all one county right?) You're the one insinuating that people from Keighley or Dewsbury can't possibly "navel gaze" or know about different sexualities it's a middle class thing to do (what, no middle class people in them there parts?) I seriously think some of you have no idea how fucking offensive you are sometimes in your rush to be all "wah, it's all woke" Talk about stereotyping.

You are not in the middle of this issue so I rather think that there is a lot of hot air around you.