The majority of dds friends are either gay, bi, pan or trans

[Mrschickpeabody]

She insists she’s ‘straight’. We’ve assured her we’d have no problem at all if she wasn’t as long as she’s happy. Every day someone in her friendship circle comes out as pan or decides they’re bi and not gay. One friend has just realised she is trans and has a new name and is referred to as a he now. They are about to go into year 9 so she 13-14. Is this remotely ‘normal’.

Could be worse, we were all goths at school so you won't have to worry about hair dye everywhere, minging joss sticks and having to listen to Fields of the Nephilim. I grew out of that too except the hair dye which I grew back into at about 40

No it’s was the ‘Duranies’ all band talk, music and fashion and magazine articals!

Sorry I can see I've dropped a clanger there. I mean I support the idea that people can have ownership of their bodies, not be repressed etc. In a similar way that women should not be repressed for being women, aka supporting feminism. But accept this is a different issue and I need to read up on it. Thanks for the link.

On the positive side, this generation seem much more relaxed about sexual identity

I strongly disagree. Young people seem totally hung up on everything to do with sexual identity (though they tend to call it “gender identity”). There are all sorts of new crimes such as misgendering and refusing to using pronouns of the opposite sex when talking about someone.

As someone with a strong attachment to reality I find it tiresome and boring.

So my child may be playing at being gay? My child is playing at being NB?
I understand the questioning of lbtq+, but what I dislike immensely is the asshats out there who still believe that the only thing acceptable is heterosexuality.
Why should my child still expect to be bullied for being gay. I thought the 21st century was becoming more tolerant of differences. Seems i was wrong

Whilst there will be genuine situations of someone being gay/bi etc, I agree that a lot of it is teenage angst/individualism/attention seeking and part of growing up, experimenting and exploring who you are. However I think there is a problem when you have kids who are identifying as another gender demanding to use their chosen gender’s changing rooms/toilets at school and making others feel uncomfortable in the process.

My youngest (14) identifies as non binary, has never said anything about gay/straight, wants to be referred to a gender clinic.
Does anyone have experience of gender clinics and how to access?

@Gingaaarghpussy

So my child may be playing at being gay? My child is playing at being NB? I understand the questioning of lbtq+, but what I dislike immensely is the asshats out there who still believe that the only thing acceptable is heterosexuality. Why should my child still expect to be bullied for being gay. I thought the 21st century was becoming more tolerant of differences. Seems i was wrong

Homosexuality should be totally accepted. Of course. As should bisexuality. But once you've got social contagion within a school situation resulting in whole friendship groups "coming out" as something new and exciting - bi, pan, nb, gender fluid, gender queer, trans, asexual... it makes it harder for actually gay kids. It's cultural appropriation.

Dd said at least half her friends have experienced same relationships, the vast majority have a opposite sex long term partner now though. They are more open now, anything goes

My 15 year old doesnt have any friends who have come as gay, bi or anything else yet. They are 16.

I have heard a few comments from some of the first years, so 11/12 that are claiming to be bi.

Turkey Trot
What outcome is your child seeking? I would read up a lot more on this - from all perspectives first. It's highly contentious.
NHS have recently changed their advice on medication such as puberty blockers. They are no longer promoted as a 'pause' and there is a lack of evidence of long term effects.

@VirginiaWolverine

Pan is when someone's gender isn't a factor in whether you are attracted to someone, whereas a bisexual might be attracted to people of various genders, but gender is a factor. So I would describe myself as bi rather than pan, because I've had periods of only.being attracted to men, or of mostly being attracted to women, and femininity really doesn't do it for me. Whereas I have a pan relative who genuinely doesn't care about gender in the slightest - looking at her relationships, she clearly has a type, but the qualities that make up that type don't include gender.

Not being funny, at all, but bisexuality is when you are attracted to people of both sexes not genders - gender being more feminine/masculine rather than vagina/penis. And you say you’re not into femininity (gender presentation) in terms of sexual attraction so presumably more butch lesbian and masculine hetero bloke?

It’s all cool but it’s very hard not to muddle up gender presentation and actual sex and I think it’s helpful generally to be clear when talking about sexual attraction.

When you say your pan relative clearly has a ‘type’ but gender (or sex?) doesn’t come into it, you mean personality, right?

I understand the questioning of lbtq+, but what I dislike immensely is the asshats out there who still believe that the only thing acceptable is heterosexuality

In DDs group they are good friends, but the only thing they discuss is their sexuality, or gender or anything in between.

Teens shouldn’t feel that this is the only quality that matters and they should be exploring other topics, hobbies, tv, film, or what ever ... no just a constant chatter about who’s bi/gay/straight/pan

there are plenty of teenagers who face racist and homophobic abuse.
If there are some kids who think they're lgbt or whatever because they want to "fit in", then it's miles better than anyone who is even suspected of being gay getting mercilessly bullied. Which still happens, by the way

Completely agree with this

Alrighty then... Biology graduate here, trying very hard to be understanding but Wtf?!

Pan is basically a way in which males have been able to ensure that they are centred in every sexuality.

Pansexual, according to whatever the first site was on Google, means you are attracted to the personality. That's where it differs from bisexuality. Bisexuality is being attracted to either sex.

But there are 2 sexes so whatever personality attracts you, its gonna be a male or female body.

@Gingaaarghpussy

Pansexual, according to whatever the first site was on Google, means you are attracted to the personality. That's where it differs from bisexuality. Bisexuality is being attracted to either sex.

It is basically the same thing though, right? I mean, if you’re bisexual - attracted to both men and women- then your ‘type’ is based on personality. You get attracted to the person regardless of their sex (or gender).

Well yeah, to me it means your bisexual. I'm just glad my child is gay and NB. My head won't explode.
I think whoever came up with pansexual should be buried in a deep dark place.
If they decide on another lbtq+ label I think I'll find a dark hole to hide in.

no

Its a worry. Dating and attraction by its very nature is discriminatory/exclusionary.

Children are being coerced on line to be inclusive in their sexuality and pansexuility is sold as being the acceptable form if attraction.

I think whoever came up with pansexual should be buried in a deep dark place. If they decide on another lbtq+ label I think I'll find a dark hole to hide in

I don't get this way of thinking - if you're (general you) not pan/bi/gay/whatever, how on earth does it affect you personally?
I mean, I'm straight, but I couldn't care less what others are, or identify as.
It literally doesn't affect me.
Each to their own

Each to their own

I’m all for each to their own but it’s literally taking over every day life.

@Quaagars

I think whoever came up with pansexual should be buried in a deep dark place. If they decide on another lbtq+ label I think I'll find a dark hole to hide in

I don't get this way of thinking - if you're (general you) not pan/bi/gay/whatever, how on earth does it affect you personally?
I mean, I'm straight, but I couldn't care less what others are, or identify as.
It literally doesn't affect me.
Each to their own

If only this were true women would not have to fight for their sex segregated protected rights. But I suspect, unless you’ve just landed from Mars, that you know that.

@InDeoEstMeaFiducia

WTF is 'pan', means 'shags anything', no?

Pandas.

I’m all for each to their own but it’s literally taking over every day life.

For who?
You?
If you're not gay/bi/pan/ whatever (apologies if you are, then I understand it would affect you)
if you're not though, how does it affect you to the extent it's taking over every day life?
Do you mean in a "wish they'd stop ramming their sexuality down our throats" "mentioning their sexuality" type way?
It doesn't take over my life, why would it?
I don't think that much about others sexuality as it has literally nothing to do with me, I don't get why others being bi or pan would take over my life, maybe it's good that people feel more comfortable being able to say who they are and not feel they have to hide away as much as they used to have to