DD has had large sums of money put into her account

[MummyInTheNecropolis]

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

[MummyInTheNecropolis]

Update:

DD finally broke down and confessed - it seems the thought of me talking to school was even worse than talking to the police! The ‘friend’ I suspected was indeed the instigator. He is a cool, popular boy, whereas DD not considered either of those things, and doesn’t have many friends sadly. This is a very recent friendship, she was extremely flattered to have received so much attention from him over the last few weeks, mainly on snapchat but also phone calls and texts etc.

Eventually he asked to ‘borrow’ her bank account as his wasn’t working (or something along those lines.) He wanted a ‘friend’ of his to deposit some money he apparently owed him into DD’s account, and he would then use her card to buy what he needed. As a thank you, DD was also allowed to spend some of the money.

She allowed him to put her card on his phone so that he could use it for Apple Pay and for online orders etc. So a lot of the orders on her bank statement weren’t actually hers, I have checked through and questioned each purchase and her story does seem to add up. She knew this was something dodgy but didn’t want to say no to this boy and risk losing her new found friendship.

She is extremely upset and anxious now as she knows I have told school everything and she is so worried that when the boy gets in trouble, he will ensure that DD is even more ostracised and will have no friends 😞. I do feel for her, but I do hope this will be a lesson to her.

School have been really helpful and are now doing their own investigation and will be speaking to the boy’s parents.

[Atalune]

Wow.

Well done you. You handled it well.

[fatgirlslimmer]

Well done for being an alert parent @MummyInTheNecropolis and hopefully nipping it in the bud, people can really underestimate the power of peer pressure and manipulation. He may have done this with many others.

[madmumofteens]

Oh OP I am so glad to hear that your DD has told you everything it's so bloody difficult parenting teens in these times take care and I hope your DD will
be ok 💐

[Viviennemary]

I don't think I'd believe that explanation. I would talk to this boy's parents. It just doesn't ring true at all. Sorry.

[saraclara]

Poor girl. What a awful situation she now finds herself in.

[MummyInTheNecropolis]

Thanks again for all of the support and advice I’ve received on this thread, I really do appreciate it. I’m not going to start a new thread as I feel it’s been dealt with, and I don’t want lots of messages telling me I’m wrong to believe DD’s story. I have checked her story in detail and everything matches up so I do believe her, and I am sure she won’t do anything like this again.

[wowfudge]

Your poor DD, exploited by someone she thought was her friend. Although of course he's being exploited too. Hopefully she will come out of this a stronger person with your support, although it won't be easy.

[saraclara]

@Viviennemary

I don't think I'd believe that explanation. I would talk to this boy's parents. It just doesn't ring true at all. Sorry.

I disagree. It sounds only too plausible. The OP has checked the orders and they fit the story, and the girl's distress and anxiety sounds entirely genuine.

The school is going to talk to the parents. It's not OP's role now.

[Headandheart]

So is that deets and squares?

[blacktiger]

I think you've handled this so well. I'm pleased that dd has finally spoken to you and that this might put your mind at ease as there were certainly a lot worse scenarios.

I hope you and your daughter are brought stronger by this.

[Knittedfairies]

I'm glad you got to the bottom of it OP; you handled it well. I hope your daughter will come to appreciate what you've done for her.

[ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble]

So glad she came clean. It also explains her confusion over "it's like deets and squares but not quite, kinda similar but not" waffling she did yesterday.

I bet she's not the only target so it's won't be clear that it came from her.

A lot of healing and work on her self esteem will be needed by September so when she goes back she'll know she's worth 100 of him and to navigate any backlash if there will be any.

Poor girl. Hug her tight, keep her close.

[Rollergirl11]

Well done OP for getting to the bottom of it! Thank heavens for your speedy reaction. Hopefully the boy in question will be too embarrassed himself to tell too many people about it. As someone else says it sounds like he is possibly being exploited too.

How is your DD today? There must be a sense of relief that it’s all out in the open?

[BobbieDraper]

Do you have many good schools in your area?

Your daughter might be happier going to a different school, depending on how things shake out with this boy. He might end up expelled, but bad feeling could still come back on her.

Maybe it's something to think about as things progress.

[ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble]

@Viviennemary well it's a good thing she's not your kid then,isn't it?

[Wecandothis99]

Well done. Well handled. Anyone saying otherwise is a douche bag!

[Floralnomad]

I just can’t see why she didn’t just tell you that straight away as its really not as bad as most of the alternative explanations .

[Wecandothis99]

Well done. Well handled. Anyone saying otherwise is a douche bag!

[Alsohuman]

Congratulations on handling this superbly. It doesn’t matter whether anyone else would believe her or not. You know her and you know if she’s telling the truth. I hope she’s OK at school.

[Ernieshere]

I expect the boy is being made to do this, by someone else.

[ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble]

The humiliation of realising/admitting her "friend" only was her friend for this purpose?
Not wanting to get her friend into trouble? Teens are loyal, sometimes stupidly so.
Afraid of the backlash and consequences on her social life?

[back2good]

Well done, OP.

Just a thought, but if school does become even more difficult than it already is for your DD, is there a possibility of changing schools in September for a fresh start somewhere else?