DD has had large sums of money put into her account

[MummyInTheNecropolis]

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

You said you had an idea which friend was likely to be involved. Would it be possible to contract the friends parents and suggest they check their DD’s bank account for similar? Or perhaps the mention of such to your DD may encourage her to open up mire.

The school beat officer may well be informed and will know who to contact on the force. I know she is is brilliant with our pupils. She/he may well speak to your daughter. Make sure you speak to the lead safeguarding officer who is probably the most experienced of the team. Good luck and l hope you can find out what is going on and that your daughter feels and is safe.

@itsgettingweird

Thecraplife I also work in education and behaviour support. I'm discussed by your post. I spend lots of time trying to get schools to work with parents rather than blame them.

I bet you're one of those pastoral safeguarding leads who keep asking parents "why did you let your child go out after ....." whilst the parent is sporting physical injuries because their child beat them up to get out of the house. Who actually then refuse to refer to Camus or whatever as it 'behaviour'.

The OP has handled it well. By alienating a child who is in trouble and being angry and in their face they retreat more. I hope her safeguarding lead is more professional than you and supports her rather than just demonises her for all she's tried and offers nothing.

^This I hope your safeguarding lead knows what she is doing too OP.

^ or he

@MummyInTheNecropolisThere’s a great app for monitoring kids/young peoples online activity

www.qustodio.com/en/

This website is also really helpful to keep up with online/digital issues for young people.

Thought they may be helpful in the future. It’s so hard to keep up when kids are far more tech savvy than we are. Hope you get to the bottom of this. Easy for me to say but try not to panic. I think a lot of people in this thread are conflating CCE and CSE...they both intersect and are both awful but it’s not a given that your DD is at risk of or has experienced sexual harm in the way some posters have expressed. (Because it’s common even amongst professionals to make this assumption so not a criticism of other posters)

@MummyInTheNecropolis sorry forgot the link

parentzone.org.uk/home

@Foramen

Call me old-fashioned, but the very idea of allowing a 14 year old child have their own bank account and card is outrageous. It is as bad as allowing a child of that age having their own unmonitored access to the internet via a smartphone or bedroom computer. I know probably more than half of 14 yr olds have just that, and more fool their parents for allowing it. Just think: if no child under 16 or even 18 could only access the internet on a computer controlled by the parents and situated in the busiest room in the house, there would be NO online grooming OR bullying. Similar factors apply to a personal, private bank account. No wonder society is going to hell in a handcart with children being afforded adult boundaries.

OK - calling you old fashioned.

When we went to open an account for DD at the ripe old age of 12 years old when most children go to secondary school, the account had to be opened in her name alone

This is not an adult boundary - it's called teaching your child about money.

I don't have time to read this thread at the moment but have seen the reference to deets and squares. Is anybody able to take the time to tell me what they are please?

OP I just wanted to add I've read our posts and have taken inspiration from how you've dealt with this. My DD is not far off her teenage years and I do worry!

Your posts

I would be concerned. My 20 year old DD told me one of her housemates gets money paid into her account because she sends fetish pics to this bloke and he pays. Beware. Men like this target young girls and are willing to pay.

Love it, SaltyandFresh, you can't spare the time to read the thread but want other posters to take the time to explain stuff to you!

I don't have time to read this thread at the moment but have seen the reference to deets and squares. Is anybody able to take the time to tell me what they are please?

Why not take the time and research it online, instead of wasting someone else's time.

OP, I think you’ve done the right thing. Hope you get more support from the school and bank than you did police but still a good thing you reported it (just in case). I also personally think the way you handled this with your daughter was well balanced and thought out rather than just panicking/yelling etc.

Please let us know how things work out.

Following

I don't have time to read this thread at the moment but have seen the reference to deets and squares. Is anybody able to take the time to tell me what they are please?

Rude much?

Just google it or something. Why should anybody here give you their time

Deets and squares:

“Deets” is slang for bank details and a “Square” is a credit or debit card. Young people are becoming 'money mules' by handing over their bank details to fraudsters in exchange for money, making them accessories to the fraudsters' crime.

*Rude much?

Just google it or something. Why should anybody here give you their time*

Yet you took the time to type that . Someone else clearly didn't mind. You can just scroll by if you don't want to answer you know!

@kozzabells what does your post even mean? It’s illiterate.

This thread is an absolute joke and not what Mumsnet is about. So many time wasters who add nothing and detract from the purpose of the thread. Why are there so many idiots on here? Where have they all come from?!

Kozzabells what's MN for if it's not for discussing parenting?

Ops handling this very well if you ask me. She's a DD who trusts her enough. We've all been teens, we've probably all done stuff our parents don't know about even years later.

I hope school are helpful, OP. Good luck.

How frustrating that the police have been of little help..hopefully safeguarding officer will be able to support you. As the mother of a 15 year old daughter I have never heard of deeds and squares and feel this thread has made me more aware of all the crap that young people are exposed to.