DS15 not come home and it's 3.17am

[worriedmum80]

Not sure why I'm posting here just need some positive hope and words.

DS15 went out with mates at 5pm told me he'd be back at 10pm.
I texted him at 9.40 asking him not to be late as I was going to bed with DD8mnths. He replied I'll be 40 mins my phone battery is on 2%.
That's the last I've heard from him!!

I'm been trying his phone and it's obviously off now, I e ring the police and reported him missing now I'm just sat here shaking, worried thinking the worst. What more can I do, I feel hopeless! Can't go driving looking around for him, the baby's in bed asleep.

He's not the best behaved teenager, admitted he goes to party with his mates, they sometimes have a few drinks just the usual "teenage" stuff.
Now I'm worried he's got drunk passed out somewhere or been in a fight and in a bad way somewhere. Why would he say he'd be 40 mins. The latest he's ever been is maybe 11-11.30

@Aussiegirl88 - what on earth makes you think it's ok to post comments like that?

"I actually have nothing but relief and happiness towards the OP that her child is home and is safe so will end on that note"

Yes, but you don't just have nothing but relief and happiness, do you? You have a big dish of smug with a side order of judgyness.

Lots and lots of us who have had a terrifying moment with a teen, also have other DC who have been generally stress free, so it's not always as simple lazy parenting And those of us who have had both, or have all grown up DC are probably the ones not criticising other parents. So, you know, we are actually nicer people even if you think we are shit parents

I might well have moments of shit parenting (in fact, again, I bet every single one of us do) but I try to be supportive of people who are posting on MN for advice, because if you tell people having a stressful time they're failing at parenting, they're not going to ask for advice again, are they?

People trying to claim some sort of moral high ground should perhaps bear this in mind, and if you think you've never ever had a single moment of poor parenting, you're either deluded, or your DC haven't reached that age, or you're lying. Or perhaps your DC are much older and you have rose tinted glasses

@CJsGoldfish I'm not just directing that post at you, although I picked up on your "lazy", there are lots of judgy fuckers about here, enjoying a bit of Monday morning quarterbacking.

Don't apologise to her Webuiltthis
There'll be thousands of people reading CJsGoldfish And Aussiegirl88s comments with dislike for their unkindness and superiority complexes.
OP asked for support whilst her teen son did something out of character... Yet she still got comments from those who twisted it round to boast and judge. Shameful really.

There’s a lot of judgment about the parents of teenagers on MN and ‘lazy parenting’ is probably one of the most riling because as the parent of a teen a large part of your role is to step back and let them gain independence which will naturally lead to some fuck-ups. Helicopter parenting and childish boundaries is not good parenting for a young adult.

Jeez there’s some judgey people on here

You do realise that despite our parenting techniques some teens will push those boundaries and experiment with booze etc, it’s def more personality than parenting.

You’re lucky if you sail through the teenage years without a hiccup, for many it is very different.

I have one who is very studious, sporty has never been that interested in the drinking party scene. Her sister, however is very different and continues to give us sleepless nights at 18, both were raised exactly the same!

Honestly I would be ringing his dad to get out of bed and search for him!

My son went missing at 11 yrs old. It was for hrs on a cold dark winter night. No one had seen him since he left school at home time, no phone as he left it at home... So i feel your pain. It is the worst feeling ever.

Turns out he got lost on transport and was too shy to ask anyone for help so got more and more lost. But i reckon your son is having too much fun and as teenagers do, hasn't thought about anything but himself and just kept partying. They don't understand the pain you feel.

When he gets in i'd be grounding his butt til gone new year!

You do realise that despite our parenting techniques some teens will push those boundaries and experiment with booze etc, it’s def more personality than parenting.

My old head teacher used to tell parents that whatever teenagers did was down to the teenager and not the parents. I've no idea if she was selective who she said that to of course.

You do realise that despite our parenting techniques some teens will push those boundaries and experiment with booze etc, it’s def more personality than parenting

Spot on.

I've got fantastic parents and I always went out and got plastered,got in with the wrong people etc because I wanted to.It wasnt a parenting thing

Scautish Right, that's me out too then. Obviously our defective brains can't think sensibly.

@WillLokireturn oh I'm not apologising just pointing out my post wasn't directed solely at them

CjsGoldfish do you have teenagers yet?

I do. As well as adults just past the teen years.

Which is why things like this..
There'll be thousands of people reading CJsGoldfish And Aussiegirl88s comments with dislike for their unkindness and superiority complexes generally don't bother me.
Not sure where I was unkind or 'superior' though

Clearly my post was not read properly with the 'lazy' acting like a beacon. Not my intention and nothing I can do about that but I do stand by my comment which was very definitely NOT saying every parent is lazy. Those 'hands in the air' "oh well, what can I do?" parents? Or the ones providing alcohol to 15 yr olds because "oh well, they're going to do it anyway"Different story.