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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

said something awful to my teenager and feel like a shit head

151 replies

purpleballetshoes40 · 01/06/2019 13:22

her behaviour for the past few years has been awful and I've just dealt with it as some of it relates to stress. She calls me some awful names, is awful to her little sister and regularly calls me a "f*(king cu)(t
She doesn't lift a finger around the house, never apologises when she's called me a name, throws stuff at me, leaves rubbish where she drops it and says some spiteful awful things to me. She's 16. She regularly says she wishes I was dead and she wouldn't come to the funeral, she hates me, calls me fat and ugly and a c:)nt. I don't think her anxiety is an excuse to call me those names.
Last night she was talking to me about her stress and I was sympathetic but probably sounded a bit distracted as I was putting laundry away. She said I was an utter bitch for not listening properly. She then got a pint glass of water and threw it on the floor, followed by some red paint, which she pour over it. I didn't react as is usual (reacting has absolutely zero effect, she never apologises, backs down or sees what she's done) and because I didn't react, she then knocked my bag on the floor and stamped on it, smashing two new items I'd bought.
I shouted at her and ran upstairs crying, whilst saying that I wish I hadn't had her. As soon as the words left my mouth I felt like an utter utter bitch. I apologised, but she said she knows I mean it. I know she behaved hideously, but what I said was worse. I'm the adult here. How can I put this right?

OP posts:
Belbytryer · 02/06/2019 14:02

Purpleballetshoes it can feel lonely can’t it, you just wonder how it got to this level. None of this is in your control, she has to take responsibility for her own behaviour. Small steps and she will get there. In the meantime make sure you prioritise yourself so you are better able to cope. Your daughter is not ‘vile’ as I think I read earlier on, she is angry, frustrated and not coping. She needs love and reassurance more than anything which I’m sure you give in bucket loads but unfortunately with ocd it’s never enough. Just another point and sorry to keep going on about ocd but my daughter has been greatly helped by addressing her allergies with antihistamine and medicine for an infection. Just wanted to mention as I’m a believer that ocd can be caused by physical issues that maybe haven’t been addressed.

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