Holding on to the end of the rope; life in the bunker with the Po Ts, where parenting a teen is having an adverse effect on our mental health

[Pegsinarow]

With thanks to Billybagpuss for inspiration for the title and to Ticklingcheese and many other parents of teens who are emerging from the worst, or currently going through it, this is a support thread for parents who are being driven to despair by their teens. It is a continuation of this previous thread where many of us clubbed together to exchange experiences, possible strategies and understanding of what can be a very draining, isolating and distressing time for all!

Tin hats on everybody for round two!

I’m here too notaflying, feeling that deep down stomach sick about as up at 5! Lots of luckx

Not thinking of you and DS

Thanks for the hand holds everyone. He did better than expected, and has got a place at his first choice for uni.

He starts counselling today as well, and I have got everything crossed that he will engage with her as this next period will be challenging for him.

He was offrolled from his 6th form in October, as he has ASD and was struggling with his MH. So the grades he got were down to his bloody determination.

Good luck to any other parents on this thread who have got results today.

Fantastic not, you deserve a 🥂. He should be bloody proud of himself after everything he has been through, good lad.

Must add that that has cheered me up. I have lost my debit card on hols - phoned the bank and the reception was rubbish - they seem to have cancelled all my cards. I just had to use £35 or my last £42 to buy lunch in the pub ! No phone reception to sort it out either - I will need petrol to get home tomorrow at the very least 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Brilliant Not! You must be relieved

Bloody relieved indeed.

There is a bottle of fizz in the fridge. I intend to drink as much of it as possible later...

Thanks all x

@LifeOfBox 💕💕💕

Thanks netmum. I now have a working credit card !

My heart was restless last night and this morning I called my daughter just to hear her voice . She put down the phone telling me I had woken her up .
But later she asked me why I care and I told her because I love her. And she told me that she is happy with his father because gets treated like a young adult.
It's the first time she has spoken in three weeks.
I am feeling better .
I asked if she was happy and she replied she been happier but she is fine.
It brought tears to my eyes but I sent a kiss and folded the talk.
I am hoping slowly she will realise big it's a long process and I don't know how long I can keep up without shattering .

Love to all of you who take time out to read me .
Sending you all good vibes x

Netmumtalks, that is such a positive step for both of you. Notaflyingmonkey, well done to your son and to you, hope you celebrated last night

I’m not a regular poster but avid follower of the thread. Couldn’t go through this without getting your thoughts on how to prepare myself for what’s to come. Dd 17 thinks she might be pregnant. She went on holiday with a school friend and friends mum.. drank too much one night(she says she was spiked but after some investigation I think it was just too much alcohol) and her friend found her alone with a guy half dressed.. she doesn’t remember if they had sex or not! She’s only telling me all this now 3 weeks later because her period is late. She’s on the pill but we all know that’s no guarantee. I’ve bought a test and am sitting waiting for her to “need to pee” before she does it... she is putting it off big time, she’s pretty terrified.
I feel I know how I’ll handle it if the result is positive but don’t want to mess it up and make things worse so any advice on what I should do/say to her if it’s positive would be greatly appreciated... regardless of the result we’ll be going to the std clinic tomorrow but just want to get her through this before I land that one on her!

I reposted this in Teenagers as realised it was probably in the wrong thread!

Oh @headiswrecked I have no useful advise and cant even imagine what you're going through. I guess the one tiny silver lining is at least she's told you and it's early days.

Hand holding

@Dorsetcamping thanks so much your reply.. I reposted on the main thread and got lots of helpful advice there.. thankfully she finally did the test and it was negative!! A massive relief but still a bit wobbly after it all!

Just a little something I edited, don't know whether it'll resonate xx

@headiswrecked yikes. My poor love. Deep breaths and relax!!!! I remember several of these from my own chequered youth so cannot be a judger.... I hope the experience has got you two talking and bonding. I went through it entirely alone xx

@headiswrecked wow what a relief for you both!
So pleased it's all ok, now enjoy your weekend

@MorvaMae sums it up beautifully!

head, phew what a relief 💐.

@MorvaMae.. I like your piece about parenting.. it certainly does resonate! Thanks for the reply, I went through a couple of scares myself back in the day so definitely no judging from me either.. I’d nearly prefer if it was just a straight forward mistake on her part though, it’s all a bit murkier than that seeing as she still can’t even say whether she had sex or not! Anyhow , she’s barely stopped singing since we did the test so I’ll take that for now :-) x
Apologies again to @notaflyingmonkey for the unintentional thread hijack, hope you enjoyed the well deserved bubbly x

Haha, I messed up posting my original post so many times I’m now confused about which thread I’m on! It was another thread I unintentionally hijacked, this one was intentional.. time for wine methinks

You certainly didn't hijack the thread Head. I think we take turns here to be in crisis!

Enjoy your .

So...you may remember my DS is 15, has ADHD, is unhappy at school, generally quite angry and miserable. He has been smoking weed. He knows I hate it but I will tolerate him doing it as I would rather he told me. I have told Camhs and also got him a session with the local teen drugs agency. And to be honest that didn’t really help as they basically told him that it wasn’t too bad what he was doing. I suppose they see worse, but it wasn’t very helpful.

The other night I went to bed around 11. At 130 I woke up, he wasn’t there. I called him on the phone. He texted me back about 10 minutes later saying he was at Lenny’s. This is someone who I don’t know but he is around the same age. He lives in the next village along so a bike ride in the dark. I said come back, and he did arrive back about 2 pm. I have told him this is totally unacceptable, it’s dangerous and deceptive. He said sorry but I still don’t think he really gets how he should not do it.

Short of lying in front of the door every night i can’t prevent him doing anything (am a single mum). I need help. Has anyone had any dealings with Targeted Yourh Support? We were referred there before, but rejected as he wasn’t severe enough. I think this behaviour is really dangerous, he thinks I am crazy and overprotective. I really need some help in dealing with this. Any ideas anyone? I don’t think he has any involvement with county lines, but he is just the kind of person who could easily get involved. He hates school, will fail all his GCSEs, is defiant and oppositional and really not happy. But won’t talk to me really. It makes me so sad, we used to be very close.

Sorry that should be 2 a m