Has anyone paid for a psychiatric/ psychologist privately for their teen because you know Camhs won’t help with severe anxiety?

[ihatethecold]

My DD’s anxiety is getting progressively worse.
She is struggling at school and this has been going on for well over a year.
She starts her GCSE’s next school year but she is so stressed that she isn’t concentrating at school.
The Gp has diagnosed stress and anxiety and she has quite severe physical as well s mental symptoms.
We have been waiting months for her to have her assessment with Camhs.
I know they won’t help her because she isn’t suicidal/ self harming. If they do help her the waiting list is fine 18 months for Cbt.
An assessment will be expensive but I feel we need to do something because we are just living week to week and without proper help I can’t see how she will improve.

No you write to the Local Authority who then write to a list of professionals for a reports. Advice here on how to do this.

This is brilliant. ..many thanks

I’m so glad I started this thread. It’s been so useful and the Pm’s I’ve received are gratefully received.
I will come back in a bit. Got to get up and drive dh to the station.

I am as well ihatethecold...sorry for derailing tho

Oh ffs dd has cut off lots of her hair, I think it's self sabotage tbh because only on Saturday did I offer to make a hairdresser's appointment for her
Now she has a reason not to attend because her hair will make her stand out. So tired of it all just now could do with a break from the stress.

Oh flesh, so upsetting. I wish I had words of advice...

I'm really pissed off tbh but she is happy with the look even though she resembles the mushroom from Mario She has arranged to go to school to meet with her TA tomorrow unbelievably. I hope she can slip in and out unnoticed. I suppose in the grand scheme of things it's a hiccup it will look better on thursday anyway and will grow back eventually.

How did your DD get on today flesh ??

Well she managed a full hour with her TA and did a French worksheet (strong subject) that she said was easy. I'm really impressed. She aims to go in again tomorrow for an hour as well.
Ed Psych phoned this morning and LA are going to arrange a reassessment. It's only took one meeting, three emails, two letters, a formal complaint and involvement of the Councillor, MP and alerting the LGO to get the LA to meet their statutory duty
It's the principle tbh because I've passed it on to a solicitor now and so will get independent reports made in due course but for now I've forced the LA to comply and that isn't a bad start.

Wow well done flesh that is a major achievement (though wish all that fighting hadn't been necessary)

Joining the thread as we're just starting on the same path with DS 13. He seems to be getting worse by the day and has mamaged one hour in school so far this week.

Why is there no support if this is so common?

Also have DS 17 already taking Propranolol for panic attacks which make him ill and has lost loads of weight. Sickness has mainly stopped thanks to the meds but his appetite is rubbish and he's so thin.
He also now says he feels depressed and rarely feels happy.

Totally overwhelmed and want to give up.

Welcome justturned50

Supporting a DC through these times is unbelievably hard isn't it? I spent 3 years in utter hell and I was incredibly close to having a breakdown myself. I don't know how we got her through her GCSEs (she got 7 but "should" have done much better) - but we did - partly through paying for private help, partly through her taking medication, partly by giving up our own lives to support her. It looks its toll, but now she's at college, and although things aren't 100% smooth, she is coping with doing BTECs (her anxiety means that this is a better route that doing exams) and no longer self-harms.

Thanks chocolate. I suffer from anxiety myself so am acutely aware of my own limitations and am struggling with the idea that I could have avoided this. I work full time and have decided that I'm going to have to take time off work this week just to think things through. Not sure I'm strong enough.

It's hard not to blame yourself. I've also had mental health problems in the past. Now things are calmer than they were (certainly not perfect through) I can actually look at things differently - maybe if I hadn't had MH problems myself, I wouldn't have been so supportive. Maybe a DC with anxiety problems can actually benefit from a parent who has some personal experience? Does that make any sense?

I still wouldn't wish those 3 years of hell on my worst enemy.

Were going down this route too.
Waiting to see if Dh’s private insurance will cover it, if not then we’ll pay.
She’s been struggling/school refusing for 3 years. We’ve had good spells but they don’t last long. Her self harming has escalated and she cut off all her hair at the weekend.
We tried cahms but found them unhelpful although dd has meds which didn’t work well.
We’re trying again, appt is in a couple of weeks but I don’t hold out much hope.

It’s exhausting. She’s not going to school at all this week but we’re making progress and talking a lot.

Hi 50 and Blue...welcome. Flesh that's brilliant news....slowly but surely. We have another Camhs session tomorrow, and I rarely send her in the day after, so crossing fingers for a better few days

Chocolate I agree that I have perhaps a better insight into how my DSs feel but do worry that it means that I let things go that my DH would challenge. Who knows what's right or wrong. It feels now that I need to be careful of the choices and decisions we make or we could make things worse.

Bellablue I'm terrified at the thought of either of them harming themselves but I can see how it happens.

GP is still resisting a Camhs referral and wants to try counselling first. DS has already had 5 sessions at school (last term and before he started refusing to go to school) but he seems to be getting worse very rapidly. School says the counselling isn't indepth enough. So many options to get counselling at school or through GP or privately, referrals here there and everywhere all of which take ages to happen. We had one private counselling session a week or so ago and DS said he was tired of talking about it.

No idea what to do for the best. Feels like a scattergun approach and counselling overload.

Are we looking for a diagnosis or just battling to get him in each day and hoping he grows out of it?

OK, I'm going to be honest here even though it may be outing - in case it helps some of you. DD took 2 overdoses. After the first one, CAMHS saw her and said it wasn't serious enough for them to see her. So she took another one and was very close to death. She then had PTSD relating to the second overdose in addition to anxiety and depression. Head Teacher was a bitch, but luckily she had delegated Child Protection duty to the deputy head who was amazing and understood the school's responsibility to make reasonable adjustments.

Things feel safer now, but it was bloody, bloody, terrifyingly hard.

Bella I would recommend talking to the GP about what diagnosis is more likely to get funded by the private medical insurance. For us we needed a diagnosis of Depression rather than Anxiety.

Just maybe a combination of your experience with your DH being harder, works well for your DS? I know that I have been too soft on DD because I was afraid of the consequences if I said no, but I did what I feel was right to keep her safe - and she has enough of her life left to learn not to act spoilt.

God chocolate that's horrendous. The whole system is beyond belief. You have to practically take your life in your hands before anything is done. How could they presume that an overdose wasn't serious enough...it makes me so angry

I'm split between being terrified of things mirroring your experience Chocolate and being in denial and refusing to accept that this will happen to us.

I like the point about having enough time to be soft on him now without him turning into a brat in the future 😉

Hey everyone. I’m so glad that there is so much support for each other on here.
Sorry to parents in the same worrying,frustrating boat we are all sailing right now.
It’s also reassuring to hear from people whose kids are improving.
My dd has been out of school for 6 days now. She has been exercising, chatty, we’ve even been away overnight to a big city and had a really calm fun time.
You would never know if you saw her, the anguish, tears, anxiety, panic attacks, the mascara tracks running down her face before school.
I would prefer her to be HE if I’m honest but she desperately wants to be in school.
The stress has been lifted from our house for a few days respite.

On a minus note. The private psychologist isn’t responding to my messages about starting the cbt treatment! It’s been a week so that’s worrying. What was the point of spending £200 and putting my dd through the assessment???
Wtf do we go from here if the privately funded professional isn’t going to help her?

@JustTurned50
My dd had privately funded counselling since last July. It’s not helped. We’ve stopped it now.

IhatethecoldWtf do we go from here if the privately funded professional isn’t going to help her? Maybe phone them directly if you have the number - have they got a secretary? Then if that doesn't work you find another one who is better at communication and getting stuff done, it's no reflection on you or your dd that this professional hasn't responded as quickly as you'd hoped.

Ihatethecold it's good to see that your DD is able to enjoy life outside of school and I take comfort from that.

My DS has a school ski trip in less than 3 weeks and I'm desperate for him to go as I'm sure he will benefit, but it's the elephant in the room right now. I'm considering seeing if I can go too. Any views on that?

I take antidepressants myself and can't help thinking of this as a possible route. I just can't see how any kind of therapy will help him as he is at the moment. I'd be really grateful for any comments or experiences of this too....

Feeling very desperate after a complete meltdown by 3 out of the 4 of us last night.

Oh and how do we continue to hold down full time jobs whilst dealing with this?