Has anyone paid for a psychiatric/ psychologist privately for their teen because you know Camhs won’t help with severe anxiety?

[ihatethecold]

My DD’s anxiety is getting progressively worse.
She is struggling at school and this has been going on for well over a year.
She starts her GCSE’s next school year but she is so stressed that she isn’t concentrating at school.
The Gp has diagnosed stress and anxiety and she has quite severe physical as well s mental symptoms.
We have been waiting months for her to have her assessment with Camhs.
I know they won’t help her because she isn’t suicidal/ self harming. If they do help her the waiting list is fine 18 months for Cbt.
An assessment will be expensive but I feel we need to do something because we are just living week to week and without proper help I can’t see how she will improve.

My dd is currently out of school due to anxiety as well. Until I stopped trying to send her to school I don't think anyone believed just how bad it was. School thought that she should be able to push on when I was arguing that dd was going to break if school didn't back off. Now she isn't attending at all everything that I had previously suggested and was considered limiting her chances at GCSE are all agreed, fewer GCSEs, shorter days, breaks etc etc. Trouble is now we need to work on getting dd back to school before all this can be put in place and that is going to take time as well. Had they listened six to eight months ago when I was warning them the anxiety was becoming a problem then we might not have got to this point.

Interesting , she hates School and doesn't do any clubs etc because she says she doesn't want to. I know it's because she is scared though as she has always been like this. She gets in a flap when she has to do new things . I got her some rescue remedy and she says that helps her . I have a friend who is a clinical psychologist and I have wondered if I should let her chat to her to see if we can help her more .
The schools push them so much and especially the bright children when A's are enough they want them to get A**.!!🙄... I've told her as long as she passes we don't care( only because she will have to re sit them and it's tedious while her friends will be flying into college ) but she feels the pressure.

Sportyfool I would avoid any pressure even to pass, I think she probably feels it already - I would avoid mentioning academic achievement at all.
Find things that she can enjoy doing outside school, non competitive, maybe crafty - creative hobbies help to de-stress- don't measure her success in anyway other than the pleasure she gets from it.

We don't pressure her at all but I do think she needs to know she should pass them as she does have the ability . It's a fine line I guess . She won't do any clubs, we have tried and tried as we think this is the key to stress( having a fun outlet ) .

Sporty Don't you think she already knows she needs to pass?

Yes I am a Play Therapist and am getting lots of private enquiries because of issues with underfunding in Camhs

Yes . I only said it once so it isn't something we dwell on . I'm listening though , I have no idea about anxiety and she is my elder child so I don't really know if it's 'normal' worried or something else . She has always been timid but has friends and seems popular etc.

I think sporty that if your child has friends and is happy then that's half the battle - academic success sometimes has to take a back seat, not forever but an unhappy kid is heartbreaking for you and for them...it's not worth pass any exam for!

Dd in theory should get 7 to 9s across the board. It's the worst possible situation to be in for an anxious child. School sees the possible results and focus on that. Dd puts herself under pressure anyway and she is falling apart. None of her targets or predicted grades have ever taken into account she has autism because the school are only interested in her academic ability and not the all encompassing disability that has a huge impact.
I'm the lone voice telling dd I don't care what she does, that there is more to life than GCSE's. School were so reluctant when I was asking them to take off the pressure, let her drop three subjects because all they could see was missed grades. Now she hasn't been in school since mid December they are more willing but it might just be too late because she is so fragile and I think it could be months before she goes back.

I pay privately for dd to see a psychologist - Its £50 per appointment and she goes once per fortnight. She had mild to moderate anxiety which has led to a period of school refusal during Y9 and Y10 but she is doing a good deal better now (I think the talking therapy has helped)

GP did agree to refer her to CAMHS way back when but advised that she wouldn't be priority and that it is a bit of a Cinderella service...so I made my own arrangements

"The schools push them so much and especially the bright children when A's are enough they want them to get A**.!!"

Well that's certainly unrealistic since only 3% of students will get A** (9)

I am going through the same thing with my dd ...I have asked the school for a reduced timetable, but they're being so bloody useless, I've taken to keeping her off school when she has lessons she has no interest in. I'm just waiting for attendance to pick up on it. I've started the official complaints procedure tho. Dd is currently seeing Camhs once a week, but due to finish in 2 weeks, and I've seen no improvement whatsoever. Still self harming and I'm at the end of my tether

@hmcAsWas I agree, they are playing a game of numbers though aren't they. Push them all and hope some of them get the top marks . She is predicted quite a few 9's though which I think is setting her up to fail . I just told her to ignore them but she wants them reduced as when she gets her report it sometimes says below target whereas if it said 7 she would be way above her target .

Agreed, much more motivating to be on target for a 7 than below target for a 9!

Really helpful to read everyone's comments, though sorry so many are having such a difficult time.

I am having trouble convincing both school and CAMHS that keeping dd13 off school one day a week makes getting her in for the other four possible, and reduces the number if suicidal thoughts she has.

Just do it colouring
I told the hoy at my dd’s school last Friday that my dd was having a week off and will only return on a reduced timetable if she is feeling ok.

Schools answer today to my suggestion of a reduced timetable was for her to drop an option, as apparently it is a "statutory legal requirement" to study core subjects...

Why I got told exactly the same regarding statutory legal requirement, now dd isn't going to school at all they are throwing all sorts at me, dropping subjects left right and centre to get her back to school with no mention of the statutory legal requirement. At their suggestion she would drop Music Chemistry and Physics. RE, PE and Biology had already gone. Trouble is that now she is out of school we have to try and get her back before she can drop anything and that isn't going to be easy.

There is also a requirement for schools to make "reasonable adjustments" for a child with SEN or a protected characteristic (you can easily get a GP to confirm that a child with severe anxiety has a mental health problem that would meet the criteria for a disability which would be a protected characteristic).

Both helpful comments, thank you. The protected characteristic is interesting - I wasn't aware of that. I've just spent the last few hours dealing with a horrific panic attack. Flesh , can I ask how long your DC was off school for before they took action ?

Thanks Chocolate I hadn't heard of that protected characteristic thing either....

Dd's anxiety began to be a problem at the end of last school year although her attendance was 98%. She managed the first three weeks in September and then started dropping days. By the time November came we were managing three days a week. She missed the last two days before she broke up for Christmas and then the day before she was due back in school in the New Year she couldn't get out of bed due to anxiety.
At that point I told her that was it, it was time to stop and she hasn't been back since. It was time to stop, it was getting to the point where I was scared to go in her room in a morning for fear she would have harmed herself to avoid school.
Dd has a statement/EHCP and today I enlisted solicitors to handle what will inevitably be a tribunal to get her an independent specialist ASD school because I don't think she will ever manage a regular mainstream school again.

Fleshmarket well done for sticking up for your dd. Can I ask is your DD's EHCP as a result of her anxiety or something else. I'm on a steep learning curve and wondering if there is any likelihood of getting one for anxiety and depression for my dd.

Dd has had a statement since she was three years old at that time she had a diagnosis of autism and global development delay. It's reviewed every year and the developmental delay went years ago and in fact she is very able academically but the anxiety was added when she started secondary school.
I'd say that you would have nothing to lose by making a request for assessment, not least because the assessment would mean that the ed psych would have to see her and identify the difficulties and the support needed. Look at IPSEA and SOSSEN to get some support for making the request for assessment and they will support you all the way through.

Presumably it would be the GP you ask for an assessment? ? Thanks for sharing thof flesh...this is all really useful to know