Has anyone paid for a psychiatric/ psychologist privately for their teen because you know Camhs won’t help with severe anxiety?

[ihatethecold]

My DD’s anxiety is getting progressively worse.
She is struggling at school and this has been going on for well over a year.
She starts her GCSE’s next school year but she is so stressed that she isn’t concentrating at school.
The Gp has diagnosed stress and anxiety and she has quite severe physical as well s mental symptoms.
We have been waiting months for her to have her assessment with Camhs.
I know they won’t help her because she isn’t suicidal/ self harming. If they do help her the waiting list is fine 18 months for Cbt.
An assessment will be expensive but I feel we need to do something because we are just living week to week and without proper help I can’t see how she will improve.

A combination of meds and CBT therapy has the best outcomes for teens with anxiety. If you can find a therapist who she likes and does CBT, I would get started on that asap. You might have to try a few until you find someone she gels with. Its important they work with teens regularly, not just adults.

Regarding meds, a psychiatrist is the best option as they are current with the lastest drugs and side effects, again make sure you take her to someone who specialises in paeds, the meds can work very differently in the teen brain compared to adults.

If you think you might be going down the meds route, see if you can access the GeneSight test. It looks at the genetic coding you have for liver enzymes that process the drugs used for anxiety and depression and you can tell which ones wont work and you should avoid. We live in the US, so I’m not sure if you can get it in the UK. It has been invaluable for my teen with anxiety (and also was great for me when I had surgery as it told me to avoid certain pain meds and stick with morphine based ones - first surgery I have had without being looped out and dizzy from pain meds)

I have PM'd but would stress that if you can afford it, get private therapy going NOW. It will not get better on its own. Google to find specialist adolescent therapists. (My hairdresser was an excellent source of recommendations for therapists and restaurants from other clients!!! )
If your DD needs to take a year off school please don't be alarmed. When you look into this situation of adolescent mental health you quickly become aware how common it is and how many families are going through it. I was amazed at how many of my friends talked about their own and other families who 'fell out of the system' due to anxiety but who eventually - some after years - got back on track and completed their education. You can study up to A level and BTEC free until the age of 25, so there's obviously an acknowledgement that not all young people complete their education in one go or in a straight line.
Most important is your DD's mental health. Don't compromise this to fit into school or society. Put her needs first. Lots of love, lots of understanding, lots of patience. You'll get through it together and realise that it's better to treat this now at this age than to have her fall apart in her final year of university or whatever she chooses to do.
Also, remember that while children are in compulsory education the school has an obligation to help. Once they are over 16 they do not have to provide counselling etc.
Good luck.

Thank you for the PM’s. They are very useful and I have taken everything in.
My friend is a GP and we had a long chat last night. She said there is a new service called CHUMS that has just been launched.
I will do an online referral to them.

I realised last night talking to my friend that my DD going to school isn’t about learning anymore, it’s becoming a survival test for her.
She is living lesson by lesson.
When she comes home she will give me a run down of each lesson but it’s not what was taught, it’s how she felt and how she coped (or didn’t.)

15 year old son has ADHD and probably ASD (awaiting diagnosis). He cannot cope with stress and anxiety-gets very aggressive-goes straight to fight not flight. We paid for private psychology sessions-£90 an hour. he had about 5 and then would not engage. CAMHs have turned him down twice, but have now agreed to see him again as his paediatrician witnessed an episode and how quickly he changed and wrote to CAMHs urging them to support him. we see them next month. I worry what the future holds for him. I would urge you to pay privately for your daughter if you can afford it. My son's sister is traumatised by the events of last year (he threatened to kill us etc) and is have counselling at her school which we pay for. Good luck. I hope your girl gets the support she deserves

Thanks. I’m feeling so fed up of this situation.

I feel so sorry for her. Why is the such a lack of care for our kids with mh stuff going on?

If I took my dd to the drs with a broken arm they wouldn’t tell me to fix it myself or say we might help you in 6 months possibly. 😔

As Beachy said, I think a psychiatrist will have to prescribe. We are waiting to see CAMHs for 3rd time next month. turned us down first 2 times, then son's paediatrician wrote to them on our behalf, after she witnessed one of his anxiety episodes (he goes to fight never flight and gets aggressive and sometimes violent.) She urged them to help him. I suspect it helped as it was from a medical professional. We also paid for privaite psychology sessions but he refused to engage after around 5 sessions. At £90 per session it was a big commitment but we felt it was worth it. The psychologist also wrote us a report we could share with CAMHs.

I hope you get the help you need. having suffered from anxiety myself, I really do sympathise

sorry realise I've posted twice! Doh! Been a loooooong day!

Dd (then 12) was self harming in a minor way last September.
I spoke to her myself once but when she did it again I didn’t feel qualified to deal with it so I asked a friend who is a counsellor to recommend someone .
We took her for an hour a week for 4weeks and I waited outside. They discussed her anxiety and worked on coping strategies but I don’t know any specific details. It really helped and we will do it again if necessary.
Think we paid £40 for an hour.

I’ve contacted a local clinic that treats youngsters privately they have told me today that because camhs is so busy that they now have a 3-4 month waiting list themselves.

I’ve finally found a psychologist privately that can see my dd next week. She’s really going downhill and I’m not sending her into school today. She really can’t face it.
I really hope it helps her. She can’t go on like this.

I hope it helps, it did for my DD
Best wishes to you both x

Thanks hopping.
Is your child better now?

No longer self harming, still some anxiety but it seems under control

ihatethecold Hope your dd is feeling better soon.

Thanks moochy.

ihatethecold Really sorry to hear about your dd, it sounds as though you're doing the right thing keeping her at home at the moment. I hope your appointment with the psychologist goes well next week. Best wishes.

Thanks Fenland. I’ve been on the interhigh thread asking a few questions. I saw you’ve been looking at it also.

Good luck in getting sorted. I paid for my daughter to see someone privately. She did hypnotherapy and counselling with her. It has made such a difference. She does still get stressed with exams and school stuff but not as much and is able to put the coping strategies she was taught in place. Hope your daughter gets some help soon.

My dd saw the psychologist yesterday.
She clearly has school based anxiety caused by PTSD or vice versa.

She can treat my DD but said my dd will have to put lots of effort in to change how she reacts at School if she is going to see change.
We are both exhausted. I went to bed at 7.30 last night.
I also had a School meeting with the HOY and attendance School lead in the morning to look at a reduced timetable after I’ve spoken to the GP to get her to write a letter saying it’s best for my dd to be there part time for a period of time.

Sounds like a good start. It's not easy but learning to cope with anxiety in the long term will help your dd. Thanks for the update.

My MIL is a clinical psychologist. She gets massive amounts of potential teen clients through because most GP’s will push medication rather than therapy because it’s the cheaper and quicker option.

Hope the reduced timetable helps her

Be very careful with a reduced timetable, whilst it seems the obvious choice, I’ve found it causes much more anxiety in the long run. Stepping back up to full time, and back in to subjects where learning has been missed is very, very difficult. (Experience through job)

Students and parents often say they wish they hadn’t taken the option.

It will be reduced but she will do core subjects and the ones she plans to take next year.
It’s that or we take her out and Home School.

I’m not saying it’s not the right choice for you daughter, just to be prepared for, and plan for, how the anxiety will increase when she’s back in full time lessons, and general circulation such as lunchtimes. Good luck to you both. 😊