Ds16 has stolen a large sum of money from me

[softlysadly]

Devastated. He's admitted it, so I'm not jumping to false conclusions. Says he regrets and feels very ashamed. But I'm not sure if I believe him. It was money I have been putting away for over a year for our hols (was £1000; he took £750).
Background is he's just finished GCSEs and is partying non stop. Smoking, drinking but not doing stronger drugs (I don't think). He's always been a good, sensible child - relatively hard working, law abiding etc but has gone crazy since GCSEs.
I'm at a loss . Feel so scared it's the start of a really bad patch. I've told him he has to pay it all back.
What else can I do? Anyone have any experience?

Does he have any games consoles / branded clothes / stuff of value? I'd be making him sell it to repay you a.s.a.p. and he'd be getting a job to repay the rest.

Was this amount of cash in the house or did he gain access to your account? Does he have a P/T job? If not he needs to get one to repay you.

It's beyond grim when you find out your normally lovely child, well, isn't.

How exactly is he going to pay you back and in what time frame? What punishment have you decided on?

If he is not showing any willing i would be contacting the police.

If he did this to anyone else it would be a jailing offence. Take this very seriously. Paying it back is not good enough.

Is the money all spent? I agree he has to find a way to pay you back

Did you not wonder where all the money was coming from for the partying and drinking?

He's minimising. Probably spent it on drugs. Coke, pills and speed suck up a lot of cash. This can't go unpunished.

So £750 in a month or so? That is some serious partying. Or he's being an idiot, flashing the cash and buying booze and gear for his mates. He needs to start selling his stuff to pay you back.

Sparkling, he had a sum of birthday money and he has a pt job . I just thought he was hanging out with his friends, smoking weed yes but not harder. He admits to trying coke and mdma but rarely. I believe him.
He was eating out all the time, smoking etc.
Punishment is that I had paid £200 for festival tix which all his friends are going to - now I'm re selling the tickets. He has to pay it all back.
He says he feels terrible/ashamed etc but do I believe him?

How did he get hold of the money?

It was cash in a locked cupboard (key in door mostly, ocasionally locked - I've never had to worry b4)

Why does it matter where he got it? He stole money that wasn't his

Well try to curb the hanging out smoking weed for a start. Could he do any volunteer work around his pt job ? Words are cheap - him showing a change is needed.

Why does it matter where he got it

I just wondered how much effort he had to put in to get the money. Taking it in cash from home is easier than taking a bank card and using it fraudulently to obtain cash.

Rarely taking drugs? I'll bet he's lying to you. He's already shown he's a thief, he'll lie to protect himself.

I agree polly - maybe he could volunteer at a homeless shelter. See how tough things are out there .

But both are still theft sparkling

He says he took it in stages, always intending to pay it back.

I can't believe your laid back attitude to him taking drugs! You seem way too lax.

I don't think I believe him . O think it was not calculated though, just impulse control gone awry

Possibly kindle. I'm a realist though.

But both are still theft sparkling

Yes.

He sounds delightful OP! I would have gone totally nuclear and basically sold the contents of his bedroom.

Has he said what he's spent it on? I agree that just paying it back over time isn't enough, he needs to sell some of his possessions.

Not sure what else though, very difficult to ground a headstrong 16 year old.

One of mine has gone party crazy this summer since finishing GCSEs, drinking and I found cigarettes in her bag and those silver canisters. She thinks she knows it all and is invincible. It's a very worrying age. Good luck.