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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

My 12yo DS wants me to ask you all?!

228 replies

Skinimum · 08/01/2017 19:59

Do you allow your 12+ yo DS and DD to have their phones / devices in their rooms at night?

Do you allow your 13+ yo DS and DD to have their phones / devices in their rooms at night!

OP posts:
Hateloggingin · 08/01/2017 21:04

Skinimum - the shock is awful isn't it? Maybe we should set up a help/hand holding thread on here?

MummaMinnie · 08/01/2017 21:06

No! :)

MilkRunningOutAgain · 08/01/2017 21:06

My DS is 14 and I haven't had to enforce any rules yet. He goes to bed , and really goes, with no messing about, so I don't need to. But any sign of him starting to abuse this & I will tighten up. He knows this, we discuss it from time to time.

wfrances · 08/01/2017 21:08

ds 13 goes up to bed usually by 9.30 and asleep by 10
his alarm (phone) wakes him at 7am
we seem quite relaxed compared to most people on here, but not locally as all his friends are the same (same when my adult children were this age)
there is no restriction to youtube or the internet but we do insist that games consoles are off by 9 pm (even for ds18 as they share a room)

StarryIllusion · 08/01/2017 21:08

Depends. If I can trust them and they want it for the alarm then yes. If they don't use the alarm then there is no need for it, is there? If they were pissing about on it when they should be sleeping then I would put my foot down and it would stay downstairs and they could use a damn clock like the rest of us.

glitterazi · 08/01/2017 21:09

Ps what's your 12yo (Yr7) bedtime?
Now he's 13, I can barely get the little so and so to bed, lol Grin
Always been in bed for 8.30 and asleep.
Now at 13 it's 9.30pm on a school night, 10pm on a weekend.

Ontopofthesunset · 08/01/2017 21:09

DS 15 - no. He is allowed his phone upstairs but he brings it into our bedroom to charge at bedtime. His laptop lives downstairs.

DS 18 - well, he's at university now so I guess so. But he did keep his electronic devices overnight from the start of the sixth form.

TheNaze73 · 08/01/2017 21:09

Yes but, they know they'd be confiscated if I caught them on them after 9

Tequilamockinbird · 08/01/2017 21:10

Yes I did. It did DD no harm, she got excellent exam results and now has a good job.

TiggyCBE · 08/01/2017 21:10

Absolutely. And a fridge in their rooms full of Red Bull and chocolate.

pointythings · 08/01/2017 21:10

No. None of us are allowed devices overnight, adults included. Lead by example.

GTS · 08/01/2017 21:11

Nope to both. Mine will need to be 16+ to be able to have them in their rooms at night, and even then they will be removed if found to be using them at stupid o'clock.

myfavouritecolourispurple · 08/01/2017 21:11

Sometimes. My 14 year old DS claims he only listens to some music on his phone and then drops off. Hmmm.

But if he looks tired the next morning, the phone gets kept downstairs. So it's up to him to act responsibly and if he doesn't I take the responsibility (and the phone) away from him.

No other electronic devices in his bedroom. No TV/computer. Only old technology - a CD player and a bluetooth speaker for his phone. I can hear if those are being used post bed-time.

DireTires · 08/01/2017 21:12

How awful about the grooming, OP & hate. I hope you have both had constructive resolution and good support.

How did you find out about the grooming? If that's not too personal a question.

We don't have any devices in bedrooms at night at all ever.

Original poster
Skinimum · 08/01/2017 21:12

Hatelogginin absolutely. How do we do that

OP posts:
Kleptronic · 08/01/2017 21:13

No phone, computer, tablet or tv in the room. He can play music/listen to the radio. Bed time for DS 12 year 8 is 9, lights out 9.30. He's rarely asleep before 10 though.

Witchend · 08/01/2017 21:13

Yes, unless they're caught after lights out with them on.
In all fairness that's only ever dd2 usually using them as a light to read...

CocktailQueen · 08/01/2017 21:14

No. Dd is 13. Phone downstairs at night and she is off it by 8.30, 9 at weekends.

glitterazi · 08/01/2017 21:15

Oh, and there's no devices in the bedrooms at all. Not even a telly.

ineedagardener · 08/01/2017 21:17

NO!

dementedma · 08/01/2017 21:19

Yes and yes. Don't have a problem with it

datingbarb · 08/01/2017 21:21

Yes dd's 12 & 13 have there phones, iPads etc in room, they are sensible turn off and go to bed at reasonable time and get up in morning with there alarm

nicenewone1 · 08/01/2017 21:25

No to both DD until they'd done their GCSEs. Phones down at 9.30. the younger one was groomed at 13 via KIK, her phone was with CID for six months.

Now they're both at college, at 17 and 18 they please themselves, they can be on them all night providing they get to college on time and keep up with their work, oh and don't wake me up. DD 17 was on a hands free convo at 2am a few months ago, and I took her phone for a week. Woe betide anyone waking a sleeping mum.

SundialShadow · 08/01/2017 21:27

My 42 year old is not allowed to have his phone in the bedroom after he goes to bed!

:)

gandalf456 · 08/01/2017 21:28

Yes but I make sure I take it off her at a decent time. Some of her friends have it til 3 am. She is 12

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