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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

things couldnt get any worst, dd was admitted to hospital today after self harming

203 replies

SpaceCadet · 01/02/2007 23:12

any one who has read my thread regarding my daughter will know that the last few months have been very tough.
lately her outbursts have become more violent, she has assaulted me on 2 ocassions and my 2 younger children are so distressed they scream the house down when dd kicks off, ds(5), stands with his face to the wall, covering his eyes and sobbing uncontrollably
today, when i told her that she couldnt have her boyfriend round, she went beserk, vandalised her room again and slashed her arms open with arazor, her arms are already a mess from the fconstant self harming..i couldnt take anymore and rang the gp who arranged for her to be seen in hospital.
the situation now is, she has been referred to the mental health team and she sees the pschyciatric link nurse tomorrow..however they are notifying social services..im not abad parent, ive done everything in my power to stop all this, im so exhausted with it all, its going to destroy my family
a lot of the reason for my own extremely low feelings are down to all this.

OP posts:

Pixiefish · 04/02/2007 16:42

I just thought that maybe a phone call tomorrow and just say that she is ill. That gives you both time to think about what you want to do and who you want to know. I was just worried that dd1 could regret if too many people knew.
Up to you of course what you do- twas just a suggestion.
Love and hugs to you both

Original poster

SpaceCadet · 05/02/2007 09:58

thanks for your advice eveyone-i have spoken to the head of year today and told him loosely what was going on, he was very sympathetic and said he was so sorry that they hadnt noticed at school what was going on, he said that if the gp sends a letter in, she can have special consideration with regard to her gcses prep work, he said the last thing she neede was to be worrying about handing work in, he coukdnt have been nicer about it.

OP posts:

winterpimms · 05/02/2007 10:34

Glad the phone call to school went well. xxx

bundle · 05/02/2007 10:40

spacecadet, so sorry this is happening to you & your family..you are in my thoughts, xxx

winnie · 05/02/2007 11:59

spacey, I have only just seen this thread and have sat here reading it and crying It's all too close to home for me (which is why I too am generally not to be found on mn of late). I do hop ehtat your dd gets the help she so obviously needs and I do hope that you get the support you need. Hang on in there. Thinking of you {{{}}}

Original poster

SpaceCadet · 05/02/2007 13:07

winnie im so sorry((hugs))

OP posts:

runkid · 05/02/2007 19:06

Hey winnie email me if you fancy a chat.

Spacey glad it went ok with school

kimi · 05/02/2007 19:25

Oh SC im so sorry, i have been following your posts.
I do hope this is a step forward for you all and she will get some help.
For what its worth(from reading your posts) i think you are a brill mom and done all you could.

Pixiefish · 05/02/2007 21:28

glad it went ok with the school

Frizbe · 06/02/2007 21:54

good news re school spacey {{{Hugs}}}

Original poster

SpaceCadet · 07/02/2007 09:52

got dd's schol report yesterday, not awful, but not as good as she is capable of, shes clearly been struggling since she moved schools and shje did have to pick up to brand new subjects, 3/4 of the way through year 10..if she works hard she can get good gcses grades but i dont think that will happen now.
she self harmed again last night

OP posts:

bundle · 07/02/2007 09:54

oh love I'm sorry. try to focus on looking after yourself and getting her the help which I know you've started. please don't worry about GCSEs, it feels like that's the only time to do them but there's plenty of time for things like exams. just getting through each day is what's important to you all at the moment, x

winnie · 07/02/2007 20:31

Spacey, I am sorry to hear that too. I do agree with Bundle that maybe it is best not to put so much emphasis on the GCSE's right now. I agonised over how badly dd was doing in her GCSE's and although she did not reach her potential (not even slightly) my expectations were so low by that point that she did better than I had expected. I then threw everything into getting her into college and although she went along with it and was accepted on 3 different courses so had a choice she got kicked out because she just couldn't deal with it on top of her other problems. It was simply too much for her at the time. Very slowly she is now beginning to get the support she needs to get herself sorted out and in a position where she can return to college in September.

I do hope you have some rl support. Look after yourself, Winnie xx

ELF1981 · 07/02/2007 20:33

I self harmed when I was younger and it was nothing to do with my parents.

ELF1981 · 07/02/2007 20:38

Sorry, have a cold and that doesn't sound right when reading it back!
I was self harming around 14/15 which I cannot explain why I did. But I had a brill home life, a good social life etc and everything was going well. But the compulsion to cut my arms was something I could not beat.
I eventually stopped, I did well in my GCSE's and my A Levels.

Original poster

SpaceCadet · 07/02/2007 21:40

elf and winnie-thanks, im not expecting great things from the gcses, i just want her well again, we go back on friday and im praying that the board have agreed to help her.

OP posts:

mamama · 07/02/2007 21:55

I'm so glad that the head of year was so supportive.

Please let us know how things go on Friday.

Thinking of you & DD

Take Care x

Original poster

SpaceCadet · 09/02/2007 16:43

went to the appt today, dd saw the doctor alone, then we all went in together, the doctor said that dd has severe depression and she is now going to recommend that she receives help, apprently her case hasnt gone to the board yet, we now have to wait several weeks for them to decide..then goodness knows how long on a waiting list

OP posts:

runkid · 09/02/2007 18:34

Oh Spacey i will keep my fingers crossed for you. You have been truely amazing and never given up your dd is very lucky to have such a great mum. Stick in there spacey your doing grear

Frizbe · 09/02/2007 21:27

good luck spacey, sounds like they are on the case properly this time, fingers x'd it all goes thru fast as can be.

winnie · 12/02/2007 09:30

Spacey, the fact that severe depression has been diagnosed is a good thing (IYKWIM). Hopefully now it will be taken seriously and dd will startt o get the treatment she needs. My dd was seem quite quickly by a psychologist once a diagnosis of depression was given.

Good luck

Original poster

SpaceCadet · 12/02/2007 14:10

winnie, we have to wait for the board to give their verdict and then go on a waiting list, but im hoping it wont be too long.
shes off school again today, her arms are now so bad, im worried, her b/f dumped her last night calling her a stupid depressed bitch

OP posts:

runkid · 12/02/2007 21:24

Oh that wasnt very nice of him

Hopefully your dd wont have to wait ti long she seems pretty desperate.

Im so glad that you finally have got a result after allthis time.

Original poster

SpaceCadet · 12/02/2007 22:49

i hope it wont be long runkid-she has been slashing her arms today..i feel sick when i look at them

OP posts:

mummytosteven · 12/02/2007 22:52

that a severely depressed child isn't being given any treatment for weeks on end. does she/you not even get to see the psychiatric link nurse in the meantime? sorry that her boyfriend is behaving with stereotypical teen sensitivity.

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