How to tell a 16 year old girl she is no longer invited to family meal

[Cheeseaddicted]

My sons, 17, girlfriend, 16, is a really fussy eater, this isn't a problem usually as when cooking dinner for everyone I will just cook some nuggets for her(as that is all she eats).

One of my friends from school and her family are going to be in my town this weekend so we planned to go out for dinner and both my sons girlfriends were invited too but we decided that we would just have dinner at mine instead as we live in a fairly big farm house and we thought it would be a nicer more relaxed evening than going out.

That means now I am cooking for her family of 4 then my family of 5 plus 2 girlfriends so it would be hard for me to cook a separate meal for one person and not to mention quite embarrassing that we are all eating a nice meal and she's sat there with nuggets and chips.

I've told my son that I don't think we can have her stay for dinner but she is welcome to stay until we eat and my partner will give her a lift home half an hour before we plan on eating and he understands and agrees it's probably the best.

But I do not know how to tell her that she can't stay and the reason why. I don't want to upset her but for obvious reasons I just can't cook different meals that night.

Hmm. If I go to a restaurant, then I am paying somebody to cook that meal for me. Someone who is trained, and who (presumably) enjoys cooking.
If people are coming to my house, I don't have such a luxury, unfortunately.
I find cooking stressful. I would do my best - to be hospitable - to serve a great big meal for 11 or 12 people, but it would be very stressful for me, and I wouldn't be able to cope with that turning into 4 different choices.

It's really not that difficult to shove some nuggets and chips in the oven ontop of what you're already cooking

You sound embarrassed about her eating habits, if you are, get over it, it's her issue not yours

It's really not that difficult to shove some nuggets and chips in the oven ontop of what you're already cooking

It is if you're cooking for 11 or 12 people.

You can tell which posters have multiple, cavernous ovens No trouble to pop an extra tray in with the dinner for 11!

xpost there, Battleaxe. Do pop round one evening. I'm thinking I might casually roast a swan in my 60cm wide, single oven.

Sorry Garlic, I only eat peacock fritters. Pop some in for me would you?

No probs Breadcrumbs or batter?

orange breadcrumbs from Asda.

It's great that she's agreed to try some. Problem solved. Have a nice evening.

I think its a good result all round.

And those who are saying you wouldn't pander to this. She's not your child, you can't tackle this in the occasional meal at a boyfriends house (nor IMO should you try) you just try to be the best host you can be to all your guests.

OP - I'd have a owrd with her yourself to say how impressed you are that she's agreed to have a small plate of dinner and to not worry about it and just enjoy the evening. She can have toast later if she's starving. If she's not ever had "normal" food even agreeing to have a plate of it in front of her will probably make her anxious. Whether you agree with how she managed to get to this point, you can't ignore her anxieties.

I'm slightly amazed at those would wouldn;t have a chicken nugget in the house - it's only chicken and breadcrumbs! Or do you mean specifically McDonalds nuggets which are minced goop and breadcrumbs

I wouldn't feel the need to cook anything special for her tbh. In your position I would invite her, and let her know what you plan to cook, then leave it to her to decide if she would like to take up your invite or not.

Glad some compromise has been reached, and hope this girl can get.help for her mental health issue. Because its not fussy eating or nutritional ignorance, it sounds like a real problem.

Eating disorders cant be snapped out of any more than physical illness. And yes, if you have an eating disorder in a place with no choices, you die.