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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Anyone want a mum of teenagers support thread

975 replies

Ledkr · 27/11/2015 09:01

Thought we could swap ideas, sound off and generally help each other through it.
Lots of you will know from here I'm no shrinking violet but my nearly 14 yr old dd is slowly breaking my spirit, home has become a miserable place to be and I know I'm messing this up.
I've had 3 teen boys and have worked all my life with various types of challenging young person and I'm pretty well respected but my own child is draining the life out of me.
The thing is, it's not huge behavioural stuff, it's probably very normal. I need to learn to pick my battles I know but I simply cannot ignore blatant rudeness or pick up someone's knickers often still containing a sanitary towell and not react.
Is this the answer? Compromise my integrity and become a skivvy just for a quiet life?
I could go on, but I'll see if anyone wants to listen first.
Thanks if you read so far Smile

OP posts:
bigTillyMint · 22/12/2015 13:27

It was soooooo long ago, longtime!

Very Envy of your sparkly house too.

Dreamgirls234 · 22/12/2015 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vobble · 22/12/2015 16:43

Hope your wrist heals soon Ledkr.
I'm of the opinion that drink is it's own punishment - both my teens are hopeless drinkers and learnt quickly that I don't do sympathy :)
Dd and dh are giving each other the silent treatment at the moment. I can only hope it gets resolved pre christmas otherwise I'll be pleased to be back at work!

Original poster
Ledkr · 22/12/2015 17:53

Thanks for the sympathy.
Dd has reluctantky cooked some dinner for her and little dd. She was pretty horrified when I asked though.
She also unloaded the dishwasher Shock
She has a full schedule of Panto rehearsals so ive had to call in peoole to take her.
She did offer to come to the hospital on Thursday with me which I thought was pretty sweet.

OP posts:
Hedgehoginthegarden · 22/12/2015 19:58

Ooh I need a rant and some sympathy. Dd and her bloody iPhone. First of all she dropped it in a stream in the summer. It was put in rice for a few days and luckily started working again. Then she dropped it and smashed the screen, which I paid to get fixed. Dh also just replaced the battery in it a few weeks ago as well. Now she's dropped it down the toilet. "It was an accident" she says. Was in her back pocket! I darent tell dh. He will go nuts and things are bad enough between them at the moment and I don't want Xmas to be totally ruined. Its in rice as we speak so fingers crossed it will be OK but if not she will have to buy herself a new phone with her Xmas money. She is so careless and I am just aaaarghhhh Angry

Original poster
Ledkr · 22/12/2015 20:13

They want these expensive items and yet cannot cope with the responsibility. Dd is the same, she has totally trashed an I phone in a year and had three I pad screens (on insurance) and yet she's constantly taking the covers off them.
What knobheads they are

OP posts:
Newname16 · 22/12/2015 20:19

Oh Dreamgirls, thanks for your insight. It's a bit like me going on an infertility thread and saying I'm so happy with my 5 children, can you not just have more sex to get a baby?

Think a little before you offer your over simplistic suggestions maybe?

Original poster
Ledkr · 22/12/2015 20:56

I thought the same dreamgirls
I also thought the poster was deluded Grin and hoped that she came down to Earth with a bump soon.
I was a dream chiof incidentally, good grades, not cheeky or rude, never broke the rules......I was pregnant at 16 Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Ledkr · 22/12/2015 20:56

Child not chef

OP posts:
Hedgehoginthegarden · 22/12/2015 21:25

Hope you are OK Ledkr. Not what you need at crimbo is it?

Why the hell did I not take out insurance? Its too late now as the phone is 2 years old but I've learnt my lesson. Next phone (that she will be paying for) will be insured for sure. Dd has gone off to a party now and I am on the Wine to calm my nerves. Its just one bleedin thing after another with her.

Dreamgirls234 · 22/12/2015 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Liberated71 · 22/12/2015 22:46

Marking my place with a massive sigh of relief that it's not just me!
Teenagers suck. I know I did. Now it's payback time! 2xDSs v close in age , toxic sibling rivalry plus youngest is ASD/ADHD. I'm a single parent now - have been for last 2.5 years. They tower over me now. But I still rule the roost! I think Confused

Vobble · 22/12/2015 22:55

My DSs phone is like Trigger's broom. It's had several new screens and a new casing 😄

Peebles1 · 22/12/2015 23:02

hedgehog I have to admit I did exactly what your DD did and left my iPhone in my back pocket and it fell down the toilet Shock So I have a little bit of sympathy for her! I also have masses for you as my three DCs have ruined various phones over the years. Dropped in the sea, smashed on the floor, and my personal favourite - dropped in a pint!! We got ours renewed on the home and contents insurance (£50 excess, so affordable for a teen with a PT job). Not sure if you've checked that out?

Newname16 · 22/12/2015 23:07

Did you take Christmas presents away and did it improve their behaviour?

sparklesnpearls · 22/12/2015 23:14

Me too, my DD is almost 16 and is making me poorly by her mood swings, disrespect and constant shouting and carrying on.

She currently staying with her dad and I really don't want her to return Angry

Grace1467 · 22/12/2015 23:26

DD has excelled herself today. She has been grumpy, lazy and just generally painful to be around. If I try and start a conversation she jumps straight down my throat so we sat in stoney silence. She has also found my Christmas alcohol stash Angry. Nothing is sacred she "borrows" all my make up , clothes and even my knickers!! Feel like I need a safe or a lock on bedroom drawer!

sparklesnpearls · 22/12/2015 23:39

Grace I could have written your post too, pinching the knickers and my bras n she not even same size as me. I have to hide my things as she takes them n doesn't bring them back. Drives me insane! Angry I'm sure I never took my mothers things!

Yes she leaves my knickers with the sanitary towels in too!

Grace1467 · 23/12/2015 00:04

Oh same lovely aren't they Grin
I didn't take my mums knickers I know that I mean why. DD has been challenging since puberty but at the moment she is driving me mad. I need to remind myself she's a child still despite being much bigger than me the toddler tantrums seemed like bliss.

longtimelurker101 · 23/12/2015 08:25

Neither of them could steal my Knickers cause they are really skinny minnies and I am most certainly not. Bras too, they realy wouldn't fit at all.

The fights caused when they stole each others though!

My last post was too smug by half, last nights "special" dinner for Daddy coming home from abroad was met with surly girls following a sister fight, yes with the ones who are 16 and 21!.

Grace1467 · 23/12/2015 08:33

I am glad I'm not alone. I was a teen nightmare so maybe this is payback but I certainly played the game way better than DD. If I wanted something from my mum (like cider money) I'd spent my week sucking up, making dinner, hoovering, cleaning etc , DD doesn't bother with that bit.

bigTillyMint · 23/12/2015 11:43

DD can't borrow from me - she has small knickers and socks but big bras.
I have big knickers and socks but small brasGrin

Fleurdelise · 23/12/2015 12:31

DS lost his phone yesterday. I spent 2 hours calling him and his phone was either ringing and no answer or turned off. After about two hours of not knowing where the hell was he, a guy answers his phone and tells me he found the phone and arranged to return it to DS today. About 10 min later my DS decides to call me from his friend's phone to let me know, he didn't think of letting me know earlier...

I spent two hours wondering when do I call the police to report him missing. Grrrr

Phone recovered today...

bigTillyMint · 23/12/2015 13:16

That's great that you got the phone backXmas Smile Not so great that he didn't think of letting you know.

SasherinSuite · 23/12/2015 15:21

So glad I have found this thread. I posted recently about dd1 here. Am at my wits end. And yes to walking on eggshells.