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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DD and weight

107 replies

jennimum · 04/05/2015 11:04

I joined this forum to see if anyone has similar experiences they can share. My youngest DD (16) is overweight and doesnt seem to care. I dont want to make her self conscious so I dont comment but I do weigh her every week on the gym scales we have at home and track her weight. We eat as a family healthily and have home gym equipment which I encourage everyone to use as well as swim.
That said, she use to be a lot more active, we have 7 seven horses and shes now technically to heavy to ride hers so I limit that a lot. She walks round in crop tops and swims in bikinis so shes obviously not concerned which is good in a way but I wish I could help her be more healthy! Help!

OP posts:
Dosydoly · 04/05/2015 11:45

You weigh her every week?? She's 16 not a toddler.

Minifingers · 04/05/2015 13:25

Stop weighing her, stop commenting on her weight.

You can't do anything more as a parent than model a healthy lifestyle and make good food and activity available. You can't make her want to lose weight.
I'm saying this by the way as a parent of a very overweight teenager. No amount of encouragement to eat healthily and exercise has helped - it has all been counter productive. When I hear people on this site talking about how much pressure there is on young women to be thin I think, not in my dd's peer group. Many of dd's friends are overweight - for a certain sector of society overweight is the new normal and there are many girls like your dad and mine who don't care enough to do anything about it. You can't change this.

baies1 · 04/05/2015 13:50

You don't want to make her self conscious but you weigh her every week and track her weight!

Address your own issues and let your daughter sort herself out.

IHaveBrilloHair · 04/05/2015 13:51

Stop weighing her fgs.

Dosydoly · 04/05/2015 20:28

The OP has pm'd me to respond to my comment..is this usual?

baies1 · 04/05/2015 20:40

I rarely get PMs, so would say no.

You don't have to respond of course.

Dosydoly · 04/05/2015 20:43

Thank you, I don't post very often and I wondered if I'd missed that. I didn't reply.

specialsubject · 05/05/2015 10:45

wonder what the daughter actually weighs and how tall she is?

and why the too-small horse doesn't get sold and replaced with a bigger one?

PatriciaHolm · 05/05/2015 14:21

You have gym scales and home gym equipment; to me this suggests, possibly, somewhat of an obsession with weight/fitness. Equipment maybe but who needs home gym scales?

Is she genuinely unhealthily overweight or just a bit too plump for your liking?

NerrSnerr · 05/05/2015 14:24

You need to stop weighing her. It's good to give good messages about food and exercise but she is a young adult now and needs to decide what to do about her weight (if anything).

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 05/05/2015 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

namechange2015 · 05/05/2015 15:50

Stop focussing on weight & focus on healthy. 80% is diet anyway. What is she eating?

InRecovery · 05/05/2015 19:38

Ditto what all the others have said, stop weighing her immediately, stop going on about gym equipment etc.

Be pleased she is comfortable in her own skin and just continue to live a healthy lifestyle. You can be healthy at a range of body sizes so as long as her diet is healthy and she is active do not worry about size.

I have four horses so am very aware that this is one area of life where weight can be an issue - when you are asking another creature to carry you. Is she still into riding? Maybe you could look together for another horse for her for 'moving onto horses'/getting something bigger to compete etc - don't bring weight into it directly, but having a pony she has outgrown is a potential source of body size anxiety - one I remember only too well (I still look at sec As with a longing, wishing I was a tiny person!).

sherbetlemonD · 05/05/2015 19:42

Is this for real?! Hmm

Original poster
jennimum · 05/05/2015 21:22

I'm sorry minifingers but I won't accept the health risks that being overweight brings.
I private message so as to not clog up forums with direct chat sorry if that offended.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 05/05/2015 21:25

It's not your place to accept risks for your 16 year old.
Stop weighing her and tracking her weight.
Enjoy healthy activities as a family. Eat healthily.

NerrSnerr · 05/05/2015 21:30

If she is overweight I can imagine it's really humiliating to be weighed by you every week. You can encourage exercise, cook healthy meals but making her do forced weigh ins will just make her feel bad.

Original poster
jennimum · 05/05/2015 21:34

it's my job to keep her healthy though Wolfiefan

OP posts:
Dosydoly · 05/05/2015 21:43

I honestly can't understand why you weigh the whole family every week, it's just bizarre. You say it's your job to keep her healthy, surely you do that by providing healthy food and encourage exercise not by weighing your family every week!

Original poster
jennimum · 05/05/2015 21:48

As I said we eat as a family and healthily. I don't see whats wrong with knowing what my children weigh it is a measurement although not the only one of course as to how healthy they are. Im only asking if anyone else had this.

OP posts:
baies1 · 05/05/2015 21:53

You can't 'clog up' a chat forum with chat.

Dosydoly · 05/05/2015 21:56

No Jenni no one else has this cause no one else makes the family line up for a weekly weigh in Hmm

Original poster
jennimum · 05/05/2015 21:59

ok so weekly is frequent but are you telling me you dont know what your kids weigh Doly?

OP posts:
Dosydoly · 05/05/2015 22:06

I know what my toddler weighs because he had a development check recently, no idea about the other two, they wear clothes for their age range so I'm guessing they're about average.

DorothyL · 05/05/2015 22:06

I have no idea what my kids weigh