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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DD and weight

107 replies

jennimum · 04/05/2015 11:04

I joined this forum to see if anyone has similar experiences they can share. My youngest DD (16) is overweight and doesnt seem to care. I dont want to make her self conscious so I dont comment but I do weigh her every week on the gym scales we have at home and track her weight. We eat as a family healthily and have home gym equipment which I encourage everyone to use as well as swim.
That said, she use to be a lot more active, we have 7 seven horses and shes now technically to heavy to ride hers so I limit that a lot. She walks round in crop tops and swims in bikinis so shes obviously not concerned which is good in a way but I wish I could help her be more healthy! Help!

OP posts:
baies1 · 05/05/2015 22:07

You don't need to weigh someone to know if they're fat

Teladi · 05/05/2015 22:09

What does your DD think about you weighing her every week, and does she comment on the result? How does this even happen, do you tell her it's time for a weigh in?

KittiesInsane · 05/05/2015 22:09

Actually, I do know what the oldest weighs because he tells me. No idea about the younger one, who is your daughter's age. I'm surprised she lets you 'weigh her' -- dd certainly wouldn't!

namechange2015 · 05/05/2015 22:12

I have no idea what my dc weigh
I have v humiliating memories of being put on the scales by dm & won't subject my children to it.
Why do you do it? Is is to try and shock her into dieting or something? It's not working is it.

PatriciaHolm · 05/05/2015 22:13

I have no idea what my 9 and 10 year olds weigh. It's really not normal or healthy to be weighing children every week. And you still haven't answered how tall and heavy she is...

TheFairyCaravan · 05/05/2015 22:13

You're going to make her self-concious about her weight if you continue the way you're going. She's probably eating junk, not using the gym equipment as a way of having control over her own body.

You can't do this to her. She is a young woman, not a toddler. My kids would have hated me if I had anything like this to them. I know what DS2(18) weighs because he told me tonight. I haven't weighed either of my kids since they were about 6. If my mother had tried to weigh me on a weekly basis at 16 I would have told her to get stuffed.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 05/05/2015 22:14

God, you sound like some sort of overbearing PE teacher. Does you DH have to weigh in as well? Do the Horses get weighed...

I am actually amazed your DD consents to this! MIne would not have done

pasanda · 05/05/2015 22:14

I have absolutely no idea what my four dc's weigh. Hmm

Why would I want to know that….every week!!

I can tell just by looking at them that they are not overweight.

Stop weighing your daughter fgs!

Georgina1975 · 05/05/2015 22:17

The weigh-in seems extremely odd and very intrusive - especially given your daughter is a teenager. I strongly suggest you end that now.

Modelling healthy behaviour around food is the only way forward. Obviously a diet of junk food and no exercise would be highly problematic, but could you have gone too far the other way? A family weigh-in at any interval sounds pretty...unusual. Perhaps she is consciously or unconsciously rebelling against controls around food/diet within the family?

titchy · 05/05/2015 22:18

Come on then how tall and how heavy?

She will develop an eating disorder by the way just like you weighing your kids every week is off the scale barmy.

ChunkyPickle · 05/05/2015 22:21

Unnacceptable health risks? Have you actually looked at the risks by the way - often very small risk * 50% for being overweight still is a very small risk.

Weighing every week is discouraged by many diet schemes, it's not recommended even for babies and toddlers - you're focussing so much on weight I think you're lucky that she's still so confident about herself!

PacificDogwood · 05/05/2015 22:22

I have no clue what my children weigh, but know fine that DS1(12) is slim and muscular and DS2(11) is chubby and overweight - no scales required.

I agree to stop weighing her.
Whether you 'agree' with the health risks associated with being overweight or not, they are there.
I bet my last penny that your DD knows she's overweight and chances are she does not like it much at all Sad (I was that teenager - v active, v healthy, overeating).
Offer health foods at home.
No 'empty' calories in the house, so no fizzy drinks, crisps, sweets/chocolates.
Source another horse/pony for her or encourage whatever other activities she might enjoy.

She will have to find her own way.
I am a bit confused what you are looking for from this thread? Are you concerned? If so about what as it's not the health-side of things: her looks??
I am confused.

Gymbob · 05/05/2015 22:22

I know my eldest weighs more than me as we all had a weigh in for fun. we weighed the dog too. that was a mistake though as we discovered the dog had lost nearly a kilo in weight since last August and we hadn't noticed, so we carted him off to the vet Confused

the dd thinks its hilarious that at 16 she weighs half a stone more than me at 52 Grin

PacificDogwood · 05/05/2015 22:23

I am surprised actually that she is going along with weekly weigh-ins tbh.

BackforGood · 05/05/2015 22:24

Dosy - I have 3 teens and haven't got the foggiest idea what they weigh. I've not weighed any of them since they were small enough to go onto the scales at the HV checks when babies and lets be honest that only happened for the pfb, not the other 2.

I find it very, very strange that you try to weigh your 16 yr old each week, and, indeed, that she lets you! Shock

ShadowsShadowsEverywhere · 05/05/2015 22:26

I've just come home having spent 7 hours in the children's ward assessment unit at my local hospital. Every single parent that passed through that room today was asked what their child weighed as part of the booking in process (I assume for calculating med dosage etc) and not one single parent knew how much their child weighed. That suggests to me that yes, you are a bit bonkers to be weighing your family at all, let alone WEEKLY!!

Bunbaker · 05/05/2015 22:28

A weekly family weigh-in is downright weird and obsessive.

Your daughter will end up with a complex about her weight and might well end up with an eating disorder if you carry on like this.

I don't know how much my 14 year old DD weighs, but she is skinny so I don't worry about it.

KatyMac · 05/05/2015 22:29

I do know what DD (17) weighs - mainly as she tells me with glee everytime she put a pound or two on

But she has trouble keeping her weight up & so we plan carefully together for her diet - but she instigated that not me

KatyMac · 05/05/2015 22:32

& she would hate a weekly weight in

I have seen her on the scales 3 times since September as I don't want to encourage a complex about food/weight

PoppyBlossom · 05/05/2015 22:32

Can you tell us her bmi, as that might make it easier for us to give comments. What clothes size is she wearing?

newfavouritething · 05/05/2015 22:32

Ditch the thoroughbred, get something more suitable for her, and stop the weight witch hunt.

measles64 · 05/05/2015 22:37

I would not think riding the best exercise except for the horse. Please do not weigh the family that is obsessive. Feed them healthily and praise your DD for her good points.

Bunbaker · 05/05/2015 22:40

Why is the OP cagey about her daughter's weight/BMI?

steppemum · 05/05/2015 22:50

OP - she is 16. She is not a child any more. You do not have control over her. The more you try to control her, the more she will pull away and in this case, that will mean the more weight she puts on.

The more you back off and give her the message that you love her as she is and that SHE has the right to make choices for herself, then she has space to deal with it.

My kids are 12, 10 and 7. I have no idea what they weight. We measure their height every now and then (usually when they ask) and sometimes I will say how heavy are you as well, just out of curiosity, the youngest loves my bathroom scales so she would tell me in a flash. The other 2 have no concept of what would be heavy for then. I never comment.

the middle one is not skinny. She isn't fat, but she could become fat. I don't weigh, I do encourage exercise (for health not for weight) and I try to provide healthy food as a matter of course (so no emphasis on it)

lincolnshirelassy · 06/05/2015 13:00

Sorry but I too think the weekly weigh ins are truly bizarre and extremely likely to give her a complex about her weight where currently there is none. I have no clue what three of my dd's weigh, one if my dd's does Judo competitively so I have a rough idea as she needs to be weighed for competitions, but that's more like every few months to check on her Wright category, not weekly! Eat healthily and don't make an issue of it, yes being overweight is physically unhealthy but encouraging her to obsess about body size is psychologically unhealthy which is even worse!!

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