OH MY GOD MY 14 YR OLD IS PREGNANT

[mummisery]

My dd has told me she is pregnant things could not be worse and she wants to keep it. She cant keep this baby but i dont agree with abortion what can i do

Hi urban she had scan on wednesday she is 10 wks and was very excited

Don't feel guilty about being out working 4 days. It probably is a good thing so that you don't end up waiting on her. Will be good for her not relying on you all the time.

Very difficult tho'. On the one hand she is only 14 and the other she needs to grow up and be a mum.

Take care x

Poor you. So in some cases like this the grandmother does bring up the child as if it were her own but you may not feel you want to or should have to do that. If my daughters got pregnant now and wanted that I would because we're set up for childcare etc already and I'd like them still to continue with their studies etc. But I'm not you and our circumstances are very different adn your daughter is very different from mine.

Young mothers don't always make bad mothers. You may feel why should you wait on her etc just because she's feeling sick and is tired so start out as you mean to go along. If she has a 2 year old brother she will now all about what it's like to have a child. My older children think having the much younger ones has been a brilliant insight into the work involved with little ones.

She is only 14. She should be home by 9 as you say and go to school etc Sounds like you're doing the right thing with getting support for her. Does she turn up at school?

xenia dd doesnt go to school we are trying to get her engage. I will do all i can to support her and i to would like her to get an education.

Hi runkid, I wrote you a lengthy email 2 days ago and somehow managed to delete it before sending it Probably a good thing as it was a bit of a rant about whats been happening here

I sympathise with regards to dd doing nothing but lying around expecting to be waited on. It is hard bloody work and extremely frustrating. I am finding it incredibly difficult as people tell me not to do x, y and z and put my foot down more. As if I haven't done/or don't do this. (I imagine you may feel the same; it's patronising). I refuse to tidy up after dd or even do more than the barest minimum of her washing (she has time on her hands and does nothing at the moment around the house). What it actually means is that her room looks like a squat & stinks and she wears the same smelly clothes day in day out. She doesn't care. I just don't get what happened to my together, helpful, responsible dd The only thing that is working atm is the threat that if she doesn't live by my rules she is out. (This scares me beyond belief, as it is a huge risk to take, if she doesn't buckle down I will have to carry out my threat and where and who she'd be living with, once told to leave, would be dangerous). Like you I am treading a fine line with a damaged dd. You are thinking about dd's unborn baby as well as dd. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. What a weight of responsibility.

Please do not feel guilty about working. You have to work. It is not a choice. It is how it is and the sooner dd gets used to it this the better.

Dd is still your baby and of course your instinct is to care and look out for her. Don't feel bad about that either. You are in a situation where you can't win whatever you do (there will always be someone who has somethign to say about it). Go by your instinct, accept any help offered (professional or otherwise) and be kind to yourself!

How is ds? How is your Dad?

Take care, Winniexx

runkid...don;t know if this had already been suggested..apologies if it has...

is there someone other than your daughter would talk to ....? a friend of yours, or a an auntie, someone she would listen to and take their advice on board ?

no-one listens to their mum at 14 , do they? ?

or is there someone on here she has connected with who might be able to encourage her to think about her education...after all,the baby will be old enough to go to school when she is in her late teens and she will be able to go and get some qualifications?

sorry if i am going over old ground.....

lulumama education are trying really hard to get dd to engage. Its not that she doesnt want to go its that she doesnt like the place but im hopeful as i no she is bord stiff.

Hi Winnie ds is fine such a happy boy as a touch of the terrible two's but nothing major. My dad is doing ok he starts his treatment next week hopefully it will relieve his symptoms.