16 year old and money towards keep

[Faithope]

Hi, so DS has a well paid job for his age-he has a salary of £10,244 a year and last month took home £950. We ask for £300 a month, I do everything for him as in washing his clothes, ironing and putting away and cook his food.
Now my issue is, he has an issue with how much we ask of him to pay. I have broken it down and shown him our outgoings each month and his £300 hardly scratches the surface of what we pay out. I have explained to him that when I was 16 (20 years ago) that I had to pay my mum £250 a month and didn't earn near as much as he does. That's the reason he needs to pay towards his keep is because he is now classed as a working adult and if he was out in the real world, he wouldn't have a penny left after paying rent, bills, food, mobile etc.
He has no idea how to handle money-last month he spent his entire wages in 7 days (all I have seen is a pair of trainers, he got his ear pierced and bought a hoodie) and had not even bought his nan a birthday present. He then asked us to pay his bus fares to work 3x!! I did but told him it was a loan and that he needs to manage his money better next month.
He's been working for 4 months now and each month is the same.
How else can I explain to him that money has to last the month?

I don't see why it's far too much - why the assumption that parents should pay for everything for a child who is earning? And if he doesn't pay his keep, doesn't mean he'll save the money.

Again, my question was 'How else can I explain to him that money has to last the month?' Not 'do you think I am asking too much'...

You've had plenty of suggestions - mine was that you take his money and deduct your monthly amount and then give him weekly pay. He'll then get used to spending only a certain amount per week. If he spends everything on Monday, he'll have to walk to work for the rest of the week, but will then have money again, so not too drastic. Then hand the reins over to him after a few months of that.

Yes I realise I have had plenty of suggestions and have put those into practice but people are still replying with their opinion on what the amount is and that is not the question

In my first job at 18 I was paid £100 pw and I paid £25 pw to my parents towards my keep.

Round here even a room in a shared house world be more than £300, and he's getting all food/washing done too. Stick to yr guns.

I am Rhinestone I know I am doing the right thing. As for helping him save, not spend so much, I have had some good suggestions and we have talked to him and he seems to know it needs to happen and with our help (thanks to some good pointers on here ), it will.

Hi Faith if he works at OCC he can get a bike through the cycle to work scheme as long as it doesn't take his take home pay below a certain level. He won't need to to his bus card that way

and there was me thinking I was being descret lol Ok I will have to ask him about that (and do a little digging myself as I am intrigued)

'How else can I explain to him that money has to last the month?'

I think my suggestions were the best
standing order of 50% going into a savings account
there other 50% is carefully tracked on a spreadsheet so that he can see how much goes on bills (your bills), and whatever other stuff is spends it on. He can decided exactly what the breakdown should be, for example: fun with friends, clothes and shoes, phone, college expenses, haircuts, presents, etc,etc

Its what I do as a grown up and it works.

Pm me if you want details about the scheme. There's also a Brampton bike hire scheme covering parts of the city too which is/was subsidised for council staff.

'How else can I explain to him that money has to last the month?'

I think that one of the difficult things to learn is how the little expenses add up and that can be truly frightening:

• a drink in the morning on the way to work
• a sandwich, packet of crisps, drink and a chocolate bar at lunch
• a drink/snack on the way home/after work

All that can easily start to get to £10/day which is £50/week which is over £200/month. Suddenly mum's £250/month for meals, laundry, a roof over his head could look like a bargain.

Alvin Hall (of 'Your money or your life' fame) recommends doing a spending diary. Just for a week writing down everything you spend including all the dribbles of cash on just walking around. It can be a real eye opener!

Gnome-You are so right-my sister has lost 3 stone and gained a lot of her money by not buying food while at work and has has shown DS how much she has saved by taking food from home into work, rather than buying it. I think its a case of 'fitting in' with his work collegues. They go to the supermarket at lunch and buy meal deals and then he will also get a packet of cookies. Burger king is not far from work but he has said he has gone there twice as he would rather have a pasta bowl or wrap for lunch.
What struck me was that he didn't realise that in order to get 'cash back' in say M&S, you need to have the money in your account to start with. When I said to him, the second month he was working, how much did he have in his account, he said £9.50. He wanted lunch so I said he could pay by his card. He said 'mum i will also get cash back' I explained that the minimum he could get was £10, he said that was fine because that all he needed. I had to say it about 3x before he got cross and didn't want to chat on the phone anymore. He assumed that cash back meant he could just get cash whenever he wanted it regardless of whether it was in his account or not!

Jellified-will do that now, thank you

fairh
From what you have said there about him not understanding cash back is worrying for someone who is 16and is using a bank account.

How old was he when you did the financial talk. Eg the difference between so and dd, how Wonga and the like have ridiculous interest rates, spend some, save some, how to build a credit rating etc.(although DS was 18 before we started on that) how credit cards are not the work of the devil but a tool that can be worked in your favourif used with caution etc.
I started at around 12 and think it has been useful to them. Would it be worth him seeing a financial advisor at Theban athow to manage money? DS is at NatWest and they were really good at sitting and talking through things.

I think it would be worth a shot-I can talk to him about it and see what he says. I can't demand he does anything but will give it a go :)

I just wanted to update.

A lot has happened since I started this thread. DS1 became ill and spent 3 days in hospital after having an Absence Seizure. He has since been diagnosed as having Absence Seizure Epilepsy. He is now on medication. After his stay in hospital, he was off work for a week and has returned on phased return.
We kept him at home to recover as he had a prolonged absence seizure that lasted 12 hours (they normally last seconds to a minute). So he had lost a day and hadn't a clue what had happened. He bascially turned up to school-he left school in May last year. The school rang me and said he was in a confused state. When my DH picked him up, DS1 thought it was 1998 and didn't know what was going on. We went to the GP who asked lots of questions and none he got right. We were sent straight to A&E.

Anyway, him being at home meant he ended the month with £100 still in his account because he was no longer going to this 'friends' house ( www.mumsnet.com/Talk/teenagers/2284068-Is-this-normal I wrote this to explain that situation) and spending his money on them.

He has saved £150 already and is keen to keep saving. Shame it took all this for him to see it.