Think I've probably just cocked up. I have a very angry ds :(

[FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse]

I am pregnant, on crutches with SPD, and generally in pain and exhausted.

Ds is the oldest by a long way. He is nearly 17. I've been struggling with getting the younger dcs from school. Ds doesn't like taking the bus, so in return for lifts to school he does the pick up of the younger dcs. Still with me?

Today I specifically asked him to meet me on time because he's sometimes late on a Friday (he finishes at 3.20, the others finish at 3.30, which allows plenty of time).

I was then going to drop him off with his friends to go in to town for a few hours (regular occurrence, he's already done this twice this week and is off out again tomorrow).

Despite being reminded to be early, despite meeting me every day, he forgot. I finally got hold of him (he ignored his phone the first few times) and he had gone off in the wrong direction. Sorry for the essay. I finally got to the school very late, all was ok in the end.

I was angry he had let me down. I hadn't brought my crutches or support, I couldn't do the stairs, I admit I panicked that I simply physically couldn't get to my dcs.

I told him he couldn't go to town tonight as a consequence.

He's livid with me. Says he does everything (very much not the case, his one job is to walk from the car to the school and back once a day).

I am very upset and I admit that this is mostly with how shocked and helpless I felt. I couldn't get to my children, I didn't know what had happened to ds, and on any other day dh would have been 5 minutes away in an emergency, but he's away with work.

I'm pretty sure I've been unreasonable in taking him home with me, but I'm sick of him telling me that it's no big deal and I'm ruining his life.

Please be gentle. What should I do?

:) thank you for all the comments. I'm fully aware reminders will be necessary and it won't be a quick fix, but I'm optimistic we're back on the right track.

We had a bit of a chat again this afternoon. He said he was sorry that he got so angry, that he was glad I'd given him space, because he wasn't sure he'd have been able to think as clearly if we'd had the conversation last night. I told him it would come, that we all get angry, and that actually having a few times when we get angry but afterwards regret it, is a good way of learning to get on top of that emotion. We had a bit of a joke about teen hormones and pregnancy hormones possibly being the worst combination.

I was most proud that when I gave him the option specifically not to help with his siblings, that that was not an option for him. That was the bit he wanted to do and saw as being a part of the family.

Chores he doesn't want to do because he's lazy, but it's time he started pulling his weight on a regular basis. But that was all negotiated too. He suggested the jobs he would be happy doing.

I'd like him to be an independent adult who is capable of looking after himself, and sees all housework etc. as a group effort, not doing things "for" someone else, but doing them because we are all equally responsible for them.