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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DS.....Beaten and humiliated

82 replies

claire4141 · 27/09/2006 09:39

We held a birthday party for dd at best friends restaurant, all going well, until, ds (15) appears battered, briused and very tearful (not like him),apparently, best friends ds (18)had pinned him down and would not let him up and causing briusing to neck from pushing on pressure point and bruising to ribs, this happened in front of huge gang of ds school friends, therefore ds didnt want to go today, but has, though worried about the fact he cried in front of them all. The beating was pretty grim and ds very shaken. The problem I face is dh very angry and wants to deal with it, but its best friends son, and via text is telling different story, dont want to have big fall outs, but as bruising is plain to see, friends son not telling truth.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 27/09/2006 09:41

Huh?

Her adult son BEAT UP your minor child and you're afraid of falling out w/her?

Um, she's a bully, obviously, if you feel that way, and so is her thug son.

I'd have phoned the police and had the 18-year-old charged w/assault.

FFS! Stand up for your son and yourself!

Twiglett · 27/09/2006 09:42

I'd call the police

FluffyCharlotteCorday · 27/09/2006 09:44

FFS call the police. Let the 18 year old adult explain to them. He's not a friend.

anorak · 27/09/2006 09:44

Take photos of the bruising now so that you have proof later if you need it. Agree with expat, sod the friendship, your son needs you to be there for him.

snowleopard · 27/09/2006 09:44

IMO that seems like a very good reason to fall out with someone. I would not want to go near her or her family again. And I agree with expat, I'd report it to the police.

badkarma · 27/09/2006 09:45

Bloody hell woman!!

"don`t want to have big fall outs" I'd never want anything to do with this woman ever again if her son felt it was ok to do this to your son!

Let your son see you believe him, call the police and report and assault.

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 27/09/2006 09:46

I would call the police too.

If you let people get away with things like this then you are condoning it and it will happen again.

Your son needs to know that you will look out for him and your friends son needs to know it is unacceptable.

Your son is far more important than your freindship with the other women.

No one will ever hurt one of my children whilst I sit back and do nothing.

badkarma · 27/09/2006 09:46

an assault

FluffyCharlotteCorday · 27/09/2006 09:48

And if your friend is a real friend, she'll be trying to get the truth out of her son, instead of covering up for him.

lorina · 27/09/2006 09:50

Police.

What if he does it again?

Your son is more important than your friend.

Saturn74 · 27/09/2006 09:50

Your son needs to know that you take this situation seriously and that you will do all you can to support him.

An 18 year old should know better than to behave in this way. As this man clearly doesn't, he should be reported to the police.

The fact that he is telling a different story to your son is frankly irrelevant - your son is battered and bruised, and that is unacceptable.

expatinscotland · 27/09/2006 09:51

I'd be absolutely mortified if my son behaved in such a fashion.

In fact, I'd call the police on him.

fairyjay · 27/09/2006 09:51

It must have broken your heart claire to see your ds so upset - I know my ds (14) would have been almost as upset by his friends being around as the attack.

I think you have to take it up with your friends though - very seriously - because if their ds is this way inclined, he is going to end up in big trouble.

Having faced his mates, hopefully your ds will feel better when he gets home.

Original poster
claire4141 · 27/09/2006 09:53

Don`t understand why best friend is a bully because her son picked on my son, she is as shocked as we are, I am not doing nothing about this situation, it only happened last night, do not want dh to deal with this in the wrong way, and do not need to be sweared at when asking for advice

OP posts:
Original poster
claire4141 · 27/09/2006 09:54

Don`t understand why best friend is a bully because her son picked on my son, she is as shocked as we are, I am not doing nothing about this situation, it only happened last night, do not want dh to deal with this in the wrong way, and do not need to be sweared at when asking for advice

OP posts:
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 27/09/2006 09:54

Well theres been lots of advice on this thread - all saying the same thing... So are you going to take it?

badkarma · 27/09/2006 09:56

whatever.

gigglinggoblin · 27/09/2006 09:57

claire your 1st post makes it sound like your friend is not taking this seriously and you would rather do nothing if it means falling out. thats why people have responded the way they have. if you dont call the police the man (18 is a man) who beat up your son is getting the message that he can do it again and your son gets the message that not only is it ok but that you dont care that much either.

mancmum · 27/09/2006 09:58

I feel so sorry for you what an awful situation as your friend is so shocked, this must be out of character for her son -- which makes it really important something is done... hopefully you and your friend can sort this out...

edam · 27/09/2006 09:59

People think she must be a bully because of this bit of your post 'its best friends son, and via text is telling different story, don`t want to have big fall outs, but as bruising is plain to see, friends son not telling truth.'

Suggests your best friend is more concerned about protecting her violent, grown-up son than about your child, who is the victim here. He gave your son a beating = he's a criminal. Please take photos of the bruising and go to the police.

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 27/09/2006 09:59

Oh and a 'thank you for the advice' might be nice instead of just moaning at those of us who have taken the time to post

lorina · 27/09/2006 09:59

This is a violent assault. Your sons bruises will heal but his confidence with other people, and more importantly his confidence in you, could be damaged long term if you dont take the right action.

It is a police matter.

Your friend will put her son before you and your son.
You should be doing the same.

mell2 · 27/09/2006 10:00

Claire, have you actually spoken to your friend about what happened?

TheBlonde · 27/09/2006 10:05

As others have said, call the police

FluffyCharlotteCorday · 27/09/2006 10:13

Sorry. Am in a bad mood this morning and the FFS just keeps coming out.

So you don't want your dh to deal with it in the wrong way, fair enough. What do you think his "wrong way" would be, and what do you think is the right way?