prepare to be shocked;but at this moment in time, i wish i could throw my teenage dd out , ive reached breaking point.:-(

[canttakeanymore]

this is long, im afraid.
im a regular with a namechange.
my eldest daughter has been a handful since she was 18 months old, she started having violent rages which have just got worse and worse.
when her brother was born, she took her rages out on him and i never dared leave her alone with him.
by the time she was 9, her behaviour was so bad that she punched me in the tummy when i was 9 months preg with ds2, just because i told her off for hitting her brother.
her father and i seperated when she was a baby and he has been no help, he always made it clear that he couldnt care less how she behaved in my house.
the last couple of years have been really bad, the trouble is, when shes calm, she can be lovely, and also puts forward a very convincing act of being a little angel, so previous attempts to seek help have fallen flat on the ground as no one beleives that anything is wrong.
she will usually errupt into a rage because shes told she cant have/do something, she will attack my other children, throwing things at them, shes smashed her bedroom door on the inside and chunks are missing from the walls.
the last time she went beserk, she went to a friends and told them i hit her!!!! the mother threatened to phone social services, it took a while for me to convince her otherwidse and im sure she thinks im cruel to dd.
i cant touch dd otherwise she screams child abuse.
this week shes grounded as she had an explosion a few days ago, i also took her phone away from her.
today she started kicking off demanding her phone back, i ignored her and she went beserk, she terrified 2 year old dd, and i dread to think what my neighbours must think.
she smashed her room up, then stormed off to her friends, i was powerless to stop her, shes probally down there now telling lies that i abuse her....i cant stop crying..where did i go wrong...ive even considered suicide because i seem to be in a no win situation..today is the final straw, i just want her out of my house, i refuse to let her terrorise my other children, but shes ponly 15, so i cant make her leave, but if i could i would....

shes not going until friday..so has to come back here..just really annoyed that my mother has done this, dd seems to be getting rewards for her behaviour..have a tantrum,,then grandma offers to let you stay for a cushty weekend..arrgghh!

Have you told your mother that she is undermining you and you would rather she was not invited? Or are you another poor unfortunate with a mother from hell?

i have a mother from hell unfortunately..thats another thread though
we did have words on the phone this morning.

was your dd happy to go to your mums or did she think she could evade the situation at home

i havent spoken to dd, mum just phoned me and said ive invited xx to stay on friday, i phoned her up, turns out one of her mates gave her a blimmin mobile!!!!!

typical! you just cant win can you what ever you do someone is there changing the rules very frustrating. if i where you i would take that off her to

my dd used to sell her mobile and then expect me to by her another in her dreams she even sold mine once and the geezer diddled her and didnt give her an money

I came on today to start a thread like this, so I have had an interesting read for the last half hour, it just feels so much better to know that you arenot alone in dealing with this crap. my ds1 14 has been really shite the last 3 weeks, stealing, helping him self to everything he wants beacause " well I wanted it so I took it", he has been smashing up his room,being particular spiteful to ds2 who is 4, even kicking him in the face, he has squared up to my dp and toldhim to piss off and leave and said i had enogh off u it time for u to go, we have all been together for over 6 yrs, and dp is the lenant one. etc etc the list is bloody endless.
I am defintely going to take on board a lot of this ideas and suggestions... its time for tough love.
good luck to all others x

costababe how does your ds behaviour effect your four year old i worry constantly about the effect my dd is having on my ds he is only two

Message withdrawn

ive noticed that this is affecting my other children-ds1 (12) has started acting up because in his eyes, this gets results, ds2 has even started to get cheeky towards me and hes only 5 and dd2 copies dd1 by screaming just like her

i think its awful that my dd effects my life so much to the point where i start to feel guilty. i would love to go away on holiday but i cant because she wont go and that is so unfair on ds why should he miss out but what can you do apart from that i could do with a change of scene

dd wont go anywhere with me either, we had an awful scene the other weekend where i was going to visit friends for the weekend and she refused to come.

The effect on my youngest is awful he tends to run into his bedroom and sits on his bed quietly sobbing while the rows erupt, when voice levels start to raise he is constantly seeking affection and telling every one that "its a lovely day isnt it?" He also shouts that every thng is not fair and slams doors and throws things, he is picking up a lot of the behavioural traits of the eldest, and I sometimes feel that ive got two teenagers.

we had a major blow last night with ds1 threatening to tell every one he knows and even people he doesnt, how horrible we are to him and that we dont treat him well,he was offered the phone to make the calls but shouted to us to leave him alone and that he will tell everyone when he is ready! What had we done? taken away his tv and music system and phone because he was caught in our bedroom going through all the cupboards we aproached him calmly and explained that it wasnt acceptable for him to be in our room, obviously we have things we dont want him to see in there! He then went into a major fit, shouting, stamping fit, screaming, throwing himself on the floor and basically lying that he had even been there... I suppose i must add blindness to my list of failings as a mother.
Anyhow he has been on gardening duty all day, now I will have to face another evening of rows because he will say he is sorry, and no more, and then will expect all his things back. Sometimes I need reminding why we all put ourselves through this.

spacecadet,did you go to your friends or cancel bcause your daughter wouldnt go. there must be something that we can do to minimilize the effect on our other children i must admit i do try my utmost not to create a situation while ds is around

runkid-dd screamed the street down until i agreed to take her to a friends house..what else could i do?my ds2 who was such a lovely little boy is turning into a spiteful little boy who keeps being mean to his baby sister because he is acting out what dd1 does to him.
dd2 has done nothing but throw tantrum after tantrum since she got up, but she screams just like dd1 so im sure she is copying hjer, also she bursts into tears if anyone raises their voice

costababe - have you considered the possibility that this is due to drugs, in particular cannabis? The behaviour sounds as if it could be. I have been through it and 14 is the typical age. Has the friendship group changed? How is ds sleeping? eating? Does he look pale, coughing / stuffy nose? I would strongly suggest a room search.

spacecadet,i would have left her to it so she realised she couldnt get her own way by behaving like a moron and i would have took the other kids off out for a nice day. i know its not easy but you have to show her who is in control

trouble was, i was going away for the weekend, so couldnt leave her, no way was i leaving her in the house all weekend!

i completel understand that i was going away this week my daughter wouldnt come so i didnt go.

i completel understand that i was going away this week my daughter wouldnt come so i didnt go.

trouble is, you darent leave them in the house..i dread to think what she would get up to.

dd has returned btw..i have my fingers in my ears.