prepare to be shocked;but at this moment in time, i wish i could throw my teenage dd out , ive reached breaking point.:-(

[canttakeanymore]

this is long, im afraid.
im a regular with a namechange.
my eldest daughter has been a handful since she was 18 months old, she started having violent rages which have just got worse and worse.
when her brother was born, she took her rages out on him and i never dared leave her alone with him.
by the time she was 9, her behaviour was so bad that she punched me in the tummy when i was 9 months preg with ds2, just because i told her off for hitting her brother.
her father and i seperated when she was a baby and he has been no help, he always made it clear that he couldnt care less how she behaved in my house.
the last couple of years have been really bad, the trouble is, when shes calm, she can be lovely, and also puts forward a very convincing act of being a little angel, so previous attempts to seek help have fallen flat on the ground as no one beleives that anything is wrong.
she will usually errupt into a rage because shes told she cant have/do something, she will attack my other children, throwing things at them, shes smashed her bedroom door on the inside and chunks are missing from the walls.
the last time she went beserk, she went to a friends and told them i hit her!!!! the mother threatened to phone social services, it took a while for me to convince her otherwidse and im sure she thinks im cruel to dd.
i cant touch dd otherwise she screams child abuse.
this week shes grounded as she had an explosion a few days ago, i also took her phone away from her.
today she started kicking off demanding her phone back, i ignored her and she went beserk, she terrified 2 year old dd, and i dread to think what my neighbours must think.
she smashed her room up, then stormed off to her friends, i was powerless to stop her, shes probally down there now telling lies that i abuse her....i cant stop crying..where did i go wrong...ive even considered suicide because i seem to be in a no win situation..today is the final straw, i just want her out of my house, i refuse to let her terrorise my other children, but shes ponly 15, so i cant make her leave, but if i could i would....

[Helly12]

God just saw the posts about how old this thread is! Guess it's kind of irrelevant now!

[Helly12]

I can really sympathise with you, I went through the exact thing with my eldest from about the age of 9 to 19. i don't know how I got though some days. I'm sorry I don't have any advise for you I tried everything including counselling for her, however she moved out at 19, got a job and now is so lovely and I'm really proud of her, she has done so well. It wasn't until she moved out that things started to improve. Hang in there I know it seems impossible at the moment but don't give up on her. My mum used to give me "helpful"advise like throw her out and change the locks, i wanted to but never did. Stay strong op

[TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross]

WHY HAVE I JUST BEEN READING A THREAD THAT IS ELEVEN YEARS OLD?!?

Why do people resurrect these threads? Why? Just start a fucking new one!

[jennyt19]

Sorry - didn't realise this was an old thread. I'll but out.

[jennyt19]

Hi canttakeanymore - Do hope things have calmed down for you. Are you going back to see the mental health professional? Doesn't sound as if they're being very helpful. In fact it doesn't sound as if anyone's been particularly supportive.

I think I would start by writing a diary and recording her behaviour. If you can record conversations and take photos of the self-harm and then present the evidence to your GP or this healthcare professional and ask them for help. The problem is, if you don't, this will impact your other children and you have to consider the best solution for all of you.

Someone on another thread recommended a book for problem teenagers (not that you probably have time to read)! I'll see if I can get the name. Back shortly.

[putdownyourphone]

Shelmers - second 10 year old thread you've restarted.

[Highalert]

Start a thread of your own .Shelmers. You will get more advice than bumping a 10 year old thread.

[Shelmers76]

My stepson (16) is an absolute nightmare Drugs (weed mostly) although I suspect other he may be partaking in illegal highs. He steals, from us, wags school, currently messing up his exama. He goes out we don't where he is, ignores any instructions from anybody qnsshows absolutely no respect for either me or his mother. His dad has previously thrown him out, as has his parternal grandparents all for his behaviour. He is at last chance saloon and we are at the end of our tether. I am well aware of support, youth worker, drug worker, social worker, early help. But they can't/won't do anything without his consent which of course he won't give cos he hasn't got a problem. He doesn't want to be here. Any suggestions?

[Spacecadet]

my mum likes her house immaculate and he was making it untidy!!

yes, saadly the water was toxic..aand I think you could cut the atmosphere with a knife.

[BreeVanDerCampLGJ]

From his side not yours, I hasten to add.

[BreeVanDerCampLGJ]

Snort at your mother booting him out. Realised he was hard selfish work did she ??

I am sorry it didn't work out when you tried again. But if you think about the water Mars and I paddled into that weekend, it was fairly toxic.

[Spacecadet]

I dont know how I managed to escape to rl!!!, think it just kind of grabbed me and reeled me in!!

Ive been busy with things like setting up a balance support group and stuff, dh briefly came back but it didnt work, we even tried a weekend away and realised that there was too much water under the bridge, we are kind of in limbo at the mo, with him visiting frequently but thats it..he doesnt live with my mum anymore she booted him out!!!

[BreeVanDerCampLGJ]

Spacey was nothing major, just a where the hell have you been e-mail.

Glad things have settled down.

Tell me, please, please tell me that your H or possibly now exH is still at your mothers. What a payback that would be for her disloyalty to you.

Oh and BTW, how did you manage to escape to RL ??

[Spacecadet]

thanks, Im so pleased for her befcause passing her gcses has given her the motivation she needs, im especially proud of her because she was in such turmoil when she sat them, we didnt think she would do so well, I think she even surprised herself!
LGJ, no I didnt receive an email from you

[tigermoth]

Spacecadet, that is such a fabulous update. I think it's so good that you've come back to this thread. It's a real message of hope for you and for other parents of teenagers. I am really pleased for you

Congratulations to your dd on getting 9 such good GCSE results

[Pixiefish]

fab news Spacey and congrats dd1 xx

[BreeVanDerCampLGJ]

Brilliant.

I e-mailed you on the E N account recently,did you get it. ?

[Doodledootoo]

Message withdrawn

[Spacecadet]

Thought I would just update this thread and say that dd is now having therapy for her behaviour and self harming and we have noticed an improvement, she also made me a very proud mum when she passed all 9 of her gcses with grades a-c, so she is off to college in September..fingers crossed

[SpaceCadet]

runkid-new thread is here

[runkid]

Hi spacey where is the new thread sorry to hear you have more trouble x

[SpaceCadet]

runkid-thats great news, things have taken a turn for theworst with dd and i have started a new thread on it

[winnie]

runkid, how exciting I have everything crossed for all of you.

[Heathcliffscathy]

Anorak. Attachment is one of my specialities (am training to be psychotherapist). CAPP in London (Centre for Attachment based Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy) is a great place to start in order to find a psychotherapist www.attachment.org.uk. I did not train with them (wish I had), but a tutor of mine did and she is phenomenal.

FWIW, I think most dysfunctions and sources of mental ill health in adulthood stem from problems with attachment during childhood.

I hope you find someone great to help you and your daughter.

[runkid]

Hello everyone
How are we all everyone ok it looks like dd is having a girl