prepare to be shocked;but at this moment in time, i wish i could throw my teenage dd out , ive reached breaking point.:-(

[canttakeanymore]

this is long, im afraid.
im a regular with a namechange.
my eldest daughter has been a handful since she was 18 months old, she started having violent rages which have just got worse and worse.
when her brother was born, she took her rages out on him and i never dared leave her alone with him.
by the time she was 9, her behaviour was so bad that she punched me in the tummy when i was 9 months preg with ds2, just because i told her off for hitting her brother.
her father and i seperated when she was a baby and he has been no help, he always made it clear that he couldnt care less how she behaved in my house.
the last couple of years have been really bad, the trouble is, when shes calm, she can be lovely, and also puts forward a very convincing act of being a little angel, so previous attempts to seek help have fallen flat on the ground as no one beleives that anything is wrong.
she will usually errupt into a rage because shes told she cant have/do something, she will attack my other children, throwing things at them, shes smashed her bedroom door on the inside and chunks are missing from the walls.
the last time she went beserk, she went to a friends and told them i hit her!!!! the mother threatened to phone social services, it took a while for me to convince her otherwidse and im sure she thinks im cruel to dd.
i cant touch dd otherwise she screams child abuse.
this week shes grounded as she had an explosion a few days ago, i also took her phone away from her.
today she started kicking off demanding her phone back, i ignored her and she went beserk, she terrified 2 year old dd, and i dread to think what my neighbours must think.
she smashed her room up, then stormed off to her friends, i was powerless to stop her, shes probally down there now telling lies that i abuse her....i cant stop crying..where did i go wrong...ive even considered suicide because i seem to be in a no win situation..today is the final straw, i just want her out of my house, i refuse to let her terrorise my other children, but shes ponly 15, so i cant make her leave, but if i could i would....

MM-havent had your email yet, will check again in the morning, if it doesnt turn up tonight, hotmail probably having an off day!

mummisery - what you've been dealing with is not normal stress and how you're feeling is perfectly understandable. My guess is that you are probably in shock right now and that you need to give yourself a break and be good to yourself, first and foremost. I'm glad you've got a couple of weeks off, and I'd consider having longer if it's at all possible.

MM, I agree that you are probably in shock. I could slap your dd for you ;) She has no idea what she is in for. I feel for you, I really do.

I am not against abortion. If this was my dd it is what I'd want her to do frankly.

People keep telling me to take some time out and I can't (can't leave dd to her own devices) and I so want to say the same to you (but I know you can't leave your dd either).

Do you ever get any time without the children? Do you ever get any time with just ds?

To be honest I think you need to prioritise YOU right now. Dd is, in some ways, holding you to ransom. She certainly isn't thinking about you and ds. (I think I am spouting xh words to me about my dd) Your dd is saying she is having this baby; whether you want her to or not you need to act as if you have accepted it. Dd needs to see the reality of the situation. You need to deal with your feelings away from dd. You need to support her but at the same time get on with your life & find support for yourself. I think this must be rather like a grieving process. You will grieve for all of the hopes and dreams you naturally had for dd and you will worry about what is now in store for her. Possibly all your hope has gone for her too (and you maybe?) Be kind to yourself. You HAVE done all that you can. I will mail you as soon as i can get onto my personal PC. {{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}

Spacey, I am glad things are better.

thanks winnie, things are better at the moment with dd, im still depressed though but think its a combination of other factors too, went to the gps on monday.
mummisery-havent had your email.

spacey, I hope the Gp was helpful and I hope things continue to remain calmer with dd.

Hi guys trying to keep my chin up but looks like my dad has cancer i found out today

oh mm xxxx

mumisery-, you are really having it all throwmn at you, btw, do you want to resend your email as i never got it.

btw, just found your email, it was in my junk mail folder, cant understand why, have replied.

Thanks spacey will reply

i knew it wouldnt last, i bloody well knew,that little is at it again..she had a blazing row with me today over msn, she lives on it, everyutime my backs turned, shes on there talking to that scum bag boyfriend of hers..she went beserk today because i caught her on msn instead of doing her coursewqork, she then claimed tnhat all her friends had their own computers and that i was a bitch because i wouldnt buy her her own laptop so she could sit on bloody msn for hours..i can barely afford to pay my bills let alone that..she threatened to kill herself and phoned up h at work doing the same..so no doubt ill get a furious phone call from him later..ive had enough, the day she turns 16 she can get out.

God Spacey they are such drama queens arent they i know exactly how you feel {{{{{{hug}}}}}}

i know it doesnt compare with what you are goling through..but ive just had enough, because she was screaming and shouting, she terrified dd who ended up cowering in the corner in tears, i tell you, shes gone when she turns 16, she wants to do what she likes, she can

My dd does that screaming and shouting thing and frightens ds and i am of the same thinking if she carries on it will be a shock to have to do everything themselves. Your doing great dont give up now how are you feeling your self

spacey, I am sorry she is being like this. Wish there was something constructive I could say but totally understand why you've had enough. {{{hugs}}}

Dd and I are having "a discussion" this evening about house rules and where we go from here. I am dreading it.

Hi Spacey how are things today has dd calmed down

hi guys, ddhas calmed down a bit, still feel rotton myself a nd am going to london for a few days on weds for hospital tests so slightly stressed about that.
how is everyone??

Good luck for wednesday spacey i dont now whats wrong but i hope it all works out x

Im glad your dd has calmed im sure you could do with out it right now.

Im at court with dd tomorrow yet again

oh no runkid-hope everything goes ok.

ive had problems with dizziness and after 2 years theyve whittled it down to either uncompensated labyrinthitis or menieres, im having the tests at the national hospital of neurolgy and neurosurgery in london and i will get the results and a possible diagnosis that day..

Well i hope it is good news and they can sort it for you dizziness is one of those really annoying things

spacey, hope it goes ok on Wednesday. Glad it has calmed down a bit with dd.

the dizziuness has been debilitating, for 6 months i was housebound, but have improved over the last 2 years, i actually get spinning attacks and loss of balance...am very nervous though about the testr.

Spacey at least you will get to the bottom of things and then maybe you will be able to get rid of these attacks and it will improve your life no end i imagine its horrible to feel rough all the time

runkid, how did court go?

My goodness some of you have been going through the mill a bit here.

Glad to report something good: DD2 has been staying with us since Saturday and we've had a fab time. The rift between her and DH is healing.

Love to everyone, try and keep your chins up and look forward to happier times.