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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

prepare to be shocked;but at this moment in time, i wish i could throw my teenage dd out , ive reached breaking point.:-(

866 replies

canttakeanymore · 26/08/2006 19:23

this is long, im afraid.
im a regular with a namechange.
my eldest daughter has been a handful since she was 18 months old, she started having violent rages which have just got worse and worse.
when her brother was born, she took her rages out on him and i never dared leave her alone with him.
by the time she was 9, her behaviour was so bad that she punched me in the tummy when i was 9 months preg with ds2, just because i told her off for hitting her brother.
her father and i seperated when she was a baby and he has been no help, he always made it clear that he couldnt care less how she behaved in my house.
the last couple of years have been really bad, the trouble is, when shes calm, she can be lovely, and also puts forward a very convincing act of being a little angel, so previous attempts to seek help have fallen flat on the ground as no one beleives that anything is wrong.
she will usually errupt into a rage because shes told she cant have/do something, she will attack my other children, throwing things at them, shes smashed her bedroom door on the inside and chunks are missing from the walls.
the last time she went beserk, she went to a friends and told them i hit her!!!! the mother threatened to phone social services, it took a while for me to convince her otherwidse and im sure she thinks im cruel to dd.
i cant touch dd otherwise she screams child abuse.
this week shes grounded as she had an explosion a few days ago, i also took her phone away from her.
today she started kicking off demanding her phone back, i ignored her and she went beserk, she terrified 2 year old dd, and i dread to think what my neighbours must think.
she smashed her room up, then stormed off to her friends, i was powerless to stop her, shes probally down there now telling lies that i abuse her....i cant stop crying..where did i go wrong...ive even considered suicide because i seem to be in a no win situation..today is the final straw, i just want her out of my house, i refuse to let her terrorise my other children, but shes ponly 15, so i cant make her leave, but if i could i would....

OP posts:
runkid · 03/10/2006 19:34

Spacy come and chat might make you feel better

runkid · 03/10/2006 20:51

spacey

winnie · 04/10/2006 07:39

Spacey, I hope you are ok?

Runkid, I tried to CAT you last week. I will email you when I can get into my personal account (long, boring story). How are things with dd and the 21 year old. I've been thinking alot about this?

anorak · 04/10/2006 08:40

Good morning ladies, spacey I am here most of today and will keep an eye on this thread in case you want to chat.

runkid is right, don't suffer alone. Help is available and is your right, depression is an illness the same as any other and you need and deserve support. If you had a broken arm you wouldn't think twice about getting help from the doctor, why should broken emotions not be deserving?

SPACEdoutZombieCADET · 04/10/2006 17:56

anorak-so sorry, i havent been able to get on mn all day, my computer kept crashing

anorak · 04/10/2006 17:58

How are you feeling?

runkid · 04/10/2006 19:42

HI winnie
DD still seeing 21yr old but im on it have talked to police and resumed abduction order it may do some good. Have had meeting with all agencys today to see what we can do. I'll keep battling.

Spacey how you doing keep your chin up we are here to help

runkid · 04/10/2006 19:55

winnie you should be able to cat me now

BabyBellaMummy · 04/10/2006 20:25

Hi
I dont no if this is still relivant as i only read the first few posts today but i started self harming at about the same age as your daughter. Im older and Wiser and a Mummy now but if you (or anyone) needs to ask some Q's or have a chat i will do my best. Just let me no and i can give you my email ad.
Hope things are looking brighter today

runkid · 04/10/2006 20:53

BBM did you only self harm or did you have other problems to i am interested because my daughter started with self harm and then moved on to drugs drink running away crime etc etc

BabyBellaMummy · 04/10/2006 21:02

yes i only self harmed. My dad (who died in Feb) was an acoholic which was known at school and the GP so i was sent to councelling as soon as i could ask for help which i think stopped anything worse developing. Sorry if that doesnt really help

runkid · 04/10/2006 21:11

No thats helpful i believe my dds started because my mum died suddenly but she wouldnt and still wont talk about it and continues to abuse her self in other ways

SPACEdoutZombieCADET · 04/10/2006 21:13

anorak, sorry for delay in replying, no sooner did i get on to mn then i had to sort the dc;s out!.
still feel very low, black cloud of doom wont go away.

runkid · 04/10/2006 21:18

Hi Spacey it may take some time but there is light above that black cloud

SPACEdoutZombieCADET · 04/10/2006 21:32

i hope so, im trying to avoid ad;s but fear i may end up on them, i think everything has come at once and my poor brain has just gone"information overload",am trying to keep busy posting on mn, i cant stop thinking about things at the mo, to make matters worse, dd has thread stalked me and found this thread today

runkid · 04/10/2006 21:43

Well sometimes the truth hurts but maybe she will realise what she is doing to you.
I didnt take ads but its not right for everyone i just wanted to deal with how i felt and not mask it but i had my auntie supporting me.
It isnt easy spacey but you will come through it your head is just telling you its tired and it needs a break have you tried a councilor to off load too

SPACEdoutZombieCADET · 04/10/2006 21:47

no i havent had any counselling,not a bgeat beleiver in counselling although rate cbt, however id have to wait years for cbt on the nhs.

runkid · 04/10/2006 21:49

Whats cbt sorry bit thick when it comes to abbs

SPACEdoutZombieCADET · 04/10/2006 21:51

cognitive behavioural therapy, challenging negative thoughts and turning them into positives, its been proven to significantly help depression.

SPACEdoutZombieCADET · 04/10/2006 21:52

going to turn in now as have to take ds to hospital tomorrow and i also have an mri scan tomorrow

runkid · 04/10/2006 21:52

Good luck spacey xx

SPACEdoutZombieCADET · 04/10/2006 21:55

thanks

winnie · 05/10/2006 11:33

how are you today spacey?

anorak · 05/10/2006 11:46

Hello all, sorry spacey I went to bed early last night. Hope today goes well for you, do let us know.

My DDs have read my posts in the past, DD1 even posted herself on one of my threads. I'd be surprised if she understands what you're going through, even after reading this. Teenagers seem to have a switch inside them that doesn't register other people's pain.

I know mn is a public forum blah blah blah, but I also know how intrusive it feels when your teenager reads your threads. After all, you are only human and need somewhere where you can air your problems - and what better place than here? You can always find someone who's endured similar, and there's nearly always someon available too.

runkid · 05/10/2006 21:48

Hey Spacey how did it go. Hope your ok how you feeling today x